Trip on thy sword thou unmuzzled, sheep-biting, miscreant!
great site, hilarious: http://petelevin.com/shakespeare.htm
..Creative Insults..
by OUTLAW 35 Replies latest jw friends
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fullofdoubtnow
A friend of ours has a way of complimenting and insulting at the same time.
For example, last time we saw her, she remarked to Trev how distinguished his grey hair looks, then added that it would look even better if he combed it more often.
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eclipse
I know someone like that.....
everytime they say something mean, just poke yourself in the eye...and if they ask you,
''why do you do that?'',
just reply,
''you jab me with your thoughtless words,
so I thought I would jab myself for everytime you have jabbed me, so that you can see how many times you make thoughtless mean comments.''.
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ninja
the rest of your fathers sperm must have been in a terrible state if you made it to the egg first
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AllAlongTheWatchtower
One of my personal favorites is to tell someone to point to their own head while spelling the abbreviation for the word mountain out loud. In a few hilarious (and maybe I'm evil for this) instances, I managed to get them to repeat it several times before they got it.
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Axeman
If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave its ars and make it walk backwards
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Stealth453
Why don't you go outside and play hide and go **** yourself, is always a show-stopper.
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purplesofa
This is kinda bad of me........but you know when you listen to someone and you just smile and agree when you want to punch them out?
Thats when I usually will ask
Do you know how to get dandruff off of an asshole?
Well, let me show you.......and just flick you fingers as if your dusting dandruff of that persons shoulder......with a big shit-eatin grin on your face........
Works really good at a bar......then you can walk away with your head held high..... while all his friends snicker!!!
purps
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OUTLAW
Good Morning JWD!!..This thread is hilarious..Thanks for your posts!.....The other morning a Bud phones up real early..What does he say?.."Good morning OUTLAW,I hope I didn`t wake you."..My reply:"Thats all right,I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."..LOL!!..What a dumb-ass!..But..He`s my Bud,and a great guy!......Another Creative Insult:..Your so ugly.Your mama had to tie a porkchop around your neck,just so the nieghbours dog would play with you!..LOL!!...OUTLAW
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Paralipomenon
My favorite has to be:
"The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead"