What do you do when you know you child is getting thier feelings hurt?

by Heather 13 Replies latest social family

• 

  ex-nj-jw

  Do you think if he see's you sad and hurt that it may "rub off on him", I mean your sadness and hurt for him??

  I think kids sometimes pull energy and strength from us as parents. When we are strong and confident I think they naturally draw that from us. Just a thought.

  Don't worry mom, you are doing everything right, give him lots of hugs and I love you's, before you know it you will be nothing more than a taxi cab that has the ability to provide food and drinks to his friends when needed, oh then you become a yard stick to see how much taller they are getting, then you become the light of their lives (as far as boys go).

  When he gets older, as mine are (17 & 19) I get unexpected gifts, flowers and text messages saying hey mom, what you doing?, I love you!!

  All the love and support you give now will not be forgotten when he gets older!!!

  nj
• 

  Crumpet

  My parents always swung the sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. But hey they were the ones that saddled me with the appalling configuration of my name and boy it did hurt. I'd get on the school bus and there would be a variation depending on which group of kids had spotted me first - sometimes it was

  Nee Nar Nee Nar - like a police siren sound mocking my first name Nina. And other days it would be any word that rhymes with my surname crump.

  However when I joined high school (after 3 years home schooling) i kicked it straight off and head on by introducing myself cockily to my class by name and following up with but you can call me "crumpet" and as crumpet I have affectionately been known ever since.

  I think the bullied end up a lot stronger. Having a supportive parent at home that he can talk helps though - so long as he doesnt get too dependent. Perhaps you can suggest strategies that he can employ to respond. humourous ones like CHL's are great for that. Because everyone ends up laughing at the bully and it refocuses the attention away as well as making they retorter look clever.
• 

  flipper

  Heather- Mr. Flipper here. Raised three kids, son is 22, well adjusted I'm told. Two adult daughters 20 and 19, both married. I tend to agree with Eclipse and Nvrgnbk on this. You are doing a great job in supporting your son emotionally. If these mean kids are on your property doing this or on the street I would like Eclipse says call attention to their bad behavior, make them see their lack of social grace to your son. Nothing ever comes from burying ignorant behavior under the carpet. If you do that you teach your son to be run over by people, no matter what they do to him. You raise a wuss. You create a co-dependent type person , not a strong person. Teach your son like nvrgnbk says to tell the boys who treat him wrong to "stop it or I won't play with you." Nobody deserves to be treated that way. And as a mom you can get to know some of these boys or invite others over to screen who would be a good influence or friend to your son. Just the protective dad in me coming out.Good luck, Peace out Mr. Flipper
• 

  Mulan

  I would invite these three boys to your house for some kind of function, maybe your son could think of something here. Let them get to know the whole family and maybe they will be less likely to disc your son. Just get to know the boys and them get to know you. You might also watch them play and see how they all interact with each other.

  Great idea. Being mean, and saying hurtful things back to them will only perpetuate the problem.