Thank you for everyone who replied.
We all have lost someone we loved and cared about at some point in our life.
How we deal with the death is really up to the individual person and for my friend i never got to say goodbye as he was killed in a car accident. I guess in a way i was in love with him and never got the chance to tell him my feelings either, so i guess this has always hindered the healing process.
Others i had had the chance to say goodbye which i know does help even though it does hurt still for 'that time of year'.
I am sorry for all your lost loved ones
Peace be with you all
Helen