Question about being an opposer....

by lavendar 21 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  BizzyBee

  I have known of many people who were related to JWs, who were able to keep in contact because they were completely neutral (at least in their behavior). My great uncle was a sweet, unassuming mild-mannered guy. He was surrounded by family members who had become JWs. But, he was never seen as a threat, because he politely listened, even went to a meeting or two in fifty years - but never displayed enough interest to get really nailed and never pointed out what a bunch of hogwash it all is; it is a delicate balance.

  If I were you - I'd aim for that balance. Otherwise, you will be condemned and banished from your son's life. I agree with Gary - this is a battle you probably cannot win. Your DIL sounds like a real pain the ass, BTW. Good luck, lavendar.
• 

  lavendar

  Thanks Jaguarbass & Dawg!

  We feel like we've already "lost" our son, so what have we got to loose? I mean, we are DONE tip-toeing through the tulips with him. I'm going to send him information (like you suggested, Dawg) on 1914, 607 etc. I just hope his wife doesn't see it first & throw it away before he gets to it!

  This is WAR ........and the battle has just begun.

  Lavendar
• 

  dawg

  I hear what you're saying bizzy bee, but what if they have kids? I wish my non-JW grandfather would have kidnapped me at two years of age and got me the hell away from these fools... Lavender has a responseability that she may not be able to mentally shrink from.
• 

  lavendar

  Hi Bizzy!

  You know, I have AGONIZED over what to do with our son (Married & 25 yrs old). I've wondered "do I send him stuff......or do I keep quiet?" Well, as Dawg mentioned in an earlier post....what good does that do?? If you never make any "noise" and just quietly go along with their beliefs, how are you helping them see the light???

  Like I said before, we feel like we've already lost him, so why not go for the gusto? Why not send him information to try to help him see the falsehoods of the WTS? I'm not going to argue DOCTRINE with him. Just try to create doubt in his mind about the WTS. Hopefully, that doubt to grow and blossom into a full realization about the BRG.

  Lavendar
• 

  theinfamousone

  they will probably say you are a bad association... then they will say to limit association with you... i can almost say this without a doubt... hpefully your son will realize at that point how bs this whole religion is... good luck

  the infamous one
• 

  dawg

  infamous one is right lavender... remember all thoughts have merit so how you approach this situation is extremly important. Alpahomega sent me something to put on my tee shirt the other day. a WT quoite where they were saying that obeidence to the WT is the same as to christ... that is blasphemy to any Christian... tell your son you're interested in the truth and ask him to show you in hte bible where it says that... then ease into the 607 thing or somehting like that. Of course you know the best way, it's your son. but I'd say it couldn't hurt to ask these guys that post here for ideas.... they know thousands of ways to skin a cat... see the difference between us her and witnesses, we realy on each other to seer a stright path, thjey cut off opinions? Use the Aristole method, ask questions that you know will lead to doubt.. ask them sincerly, like you really just want to know.
• 

  drew sagan

  Hi lavendar!
  
  One problem may be that you are simply not educated enough about JWs, and that you may never be.
  
  I would suggest you come at it from a very basic level dealing with fear and information control. Get the books 'Crisis of Conscience' and 'In Search of Christian Freedom' by Raymond Franz. He had access to info about the JWs that nobody else had since he was a former member of their high council (the governing body).
  
  Appeal to your son that you have read this book and that you would like him to prove wrong that the JW leadership did not do anything as is documented in the book. Don't argue over anything, just present the fact that you want what is contained in this book proved right or wrong
  
  A great way to reason is to bring up a list of groups (cults) that restrict information and control their members. Ask him if it is morally right for those groups to hide what their ex-members say and to say that all ex-members of that particular group are filled with demons. You may be able to appeal to him on this level.
  
  Reading up on cults would be a big help.
  
  Just some suggestions.
  
  -drew
• 

  dawg

  Good idea drew, I'd read books on cults and COC, then i'd write out a game plan... a perfect game plan that won't send him running just get him thinking... always remind him how much you love him.
• 

  lavendar

  Sorry......had to close our store and go home.

  Thanks you guys for all your replies! Good advice.....and I appreciate it very much!

  Lavendar
• 

  NotaNess

  My suggestions:

  1) Show him(them) something like what Scully posted above. Suggest for him to use logic in his thinking on this matter. If they claim the devil is behind all the wrong doings, then who is behind all the right doings and tons of love that is shown to man across the earth on a daily basis? Is then, that God? Is it God that is working in the background when hundreds of shelters each day in this nation, are feeding the homeless, and poor? Is it God that is letting a mother and father enjoy a great day with their children at a park, or is here there when they were giving birth to their kids which gave them such joy and passion in their lives? OR, ask him, could "Jehovah" God only be behind the happiness of the JW, and the rest of us it's just by chance. Point being, compare what they are saying about ALL badness in the world being Devil run, to who's behind all the happiness, compassion and joy. Would they have to admmit that yes, the devils is behind the bad, but God is not behind the good(but only for his organization)? If YES, then do they not seem like they are giving a foolish answer?

  2) As others have said, and these were major points for me when someone was trying to lure me in....You have to convince them that there is NO WAY, God's people could have been started with such things as Charles Russell and the Pyramidology(show them the Pyramid Memorial), the embarrasing Beth Sarim incident( in the watchtower library I saw where they only say that the house was for retreat for Rutherford, so have clear evidence from somewhere that IT WAS bought for the return of the prophets and a failure of a prediction).

  3) You have to have great info on the false prophecies, I have an Awake from October 8, 1968, that is sure to knock some sense into most New Generation Dubs. The months and years building up to 1975 as THE END, was clearly in many publications before 75, so try and get that together.

  4) If they think and they are teaching that "touching Unclean things" is totally off limits and something their people try to live by, ask them if this is how God wanted to start his "organization", by having them associate with PAGAN "unclean things". In the beginning they had Crosses, celebrated some holidays, etc. It's one thing to "claim" over the years, they were just "FED" new light, but ask them..."Really, do you think that is how God would have started his organization?"

  5) You need to make your son aware that if he wasn't with this DUB, how would he view all the things he's hearing from them?..... he would be able to use good logic and see the falsities of this organization, but he's in a situation where he's being influenced by a relationship.

  Lavendar, I feel pain in my stomache for you over this situation you are in, and I've never been a witness. I am around these witnesses 5 days a week every week, so I see the mind control regularly, and I can't stand to hear you have to go through this...it just plain stinks!

  to you, we'll all be thinking about you as you go through this, I'm sure.