The three reasons we leave the "Truth"

by sleepy 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sleepy

  Seems to me there are mainly three roads most of us have taken

  1.We did something "wrong" and were disfellowshipped and after felt able to look at the society in a different light.

  2.We didn't like the "truth" and were looking for a way out.

  3.We wanted it to be the truth but were overcome by the mountain of evidence against it.

  Which is the most common I wonder.

  Also do our motives play a large part in how we deal with information criticising the org.
  Without a reason to act information seems useless.
  For instance if a person feels he has nothing to gain by leaving the org will he read different things into the same info as us?
  I think so and that all who leave must have a reason to do so, something to gain.
  This does not make their reasoning wrong or prove they we are looking for just excuse.
  But is a normal way in which humans deals with information.
  Two humans can have the same information but if they want or desire different things they may use the information differently.

  Maybe thats wht so many say "where else is there to go?".If they feel they have nowhere to go and are happy in the life they lead they have no motive to leave and will read the same information as us differently.

  Could it be that more young people leave than older for this reason.They have more of their life in front of them and more to gain, whilst older ones gain security in an org with friends and support?
• 

  jayhawk1

  Reason number 2 seems to fit me. I wanted out, because I saw so much inconsistancy in the elder body. For instance how they treated some people. Ones that had influential relatives got treated better and were given authority while others were forgotten about.

  "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
• 

  OUTLAW

  The organisation speak`s about truth,rarely speak`s the truth and sure the hell dosen`t want to hear the truth!
• 

  Steven

  Hi Sleepy,

  I think that my wife & I's response to this is fairly complex.

  First lets start simple - we disassociated ourselves just over 1 week ago & had done nothing wrong in the WTBTS eyes so point 1 is out for both of us!

  However generally we agree that broadly the 3 points for leaving could well cover most peoples general reasons for leaving however I offer a fourth.

  My wife basically left for point 3 [3.We wanted it to be the truth but were overcome by the mountain of evidence against it.]

  However I think that I left for the 4th reason I mentioned. I kept trying to keep up with what was expected in the organisation BUT found that I couldn't keep doing it & remain happy. In fact I was getting more & more tired out & was becoming weighed down with guilty feelings.

  I also had doubts caused by this since I wanted to do what was "right" & so I hunted around in the literature to see what you ought to do when in this situation. The supposed answer was "more meetings, more personal study & more prayer".

  I tried this to the best of my ability (although lets not kid ourselves this was way from perfect!) & what happened? I got more tired, guilty & stressed. For me this is strange since I am very easy going & don't get stressed by much. Hence in the end I found myself asking "can I be an active witness any more? & do I even want to be?"

  At that stage I talked to my wife - she had had an issue about "truths" changing but we had not really discussed this before or examined it. So we did & thats when I found lots of evidence AGAINST it being the truth. Everything then seemed to point towards an organisation of MEN changing things/doctrine when it became difficult to maintain anymore & then covering this up as best they could!

  Okay so that is my suggestion for a fourth reason for leaving.

  Now for the rest of your comments. My wife & I in short think that although there may well be broad headings for why people left the truth, in reality each person is an individual & hence has a entirely unique way of thinking & thus leading their lives.

  Therefore it is probably impossible to set general reasons as to why EXACTLY people leave. Yes perhaps older ones feel security in the organisation but there could be a multitude of other reasons why they stay or alternatively leave - there is no easy answer because we are all different...

  However we both feel that perhaps the best motivation for people leaving is that they remain TRUE TO THEMSELVES & hence if a person is no longer happy or content that the "truth" is correct for them then obviously they can no longer stay.

  My father-in-law might have something to say about this - we get the feeling that he thinks we aren't being honest with ourselves - we don't know his reason for saying this but we can say FOR SURE that he is WRONG... By the way - he isn't even a JW but seems to be more unhappy about us leaving than my mother-in-law who is & is still talking to us!!!!!

  Hope this gives you some thoughts to mull over.

  Yours S&L
• 

  LittleToe

  If this is a straw poll, I'd go for 3.
• 

  RR

  The one that comes closes is number 2, I left because I felt spiritually stagnant and needed to move on.

  ____________________________
  Religion is man's attempt to reach God,
  Jesus is God's attempt to reach man.
• 

  KD

  I guess reason #2 fit my situation also. I was brain washed into the organization while in high school and baptized before graduation. Soon after graduation I wanted to do "worldy things", but still thought it was the Truth. I still held on for a few years but could not stand being harassed by the Elders to attend meetings and field service. I figured that I would die at the end anyways, so why stay with it?

  At that time I worked the night shift at a hospital and was asked to donate blood to a person in surgery. I figured, "what the hell, I am going to die any way". I let them have a pint and when the Elders made their next harassing phone call to me, I told them what I did and was not repentant for it. This was my ticket out and was df'ed the next day.

  For many years I still thought the JW was the true religion. Later on in life, after moving to another state, I figured I would give it another try. I attended a Kingdom Hall for several months. During this time I found several changes in their teachings. I was also present in the w.t. study meeting when they spoke about the change in "This Generation". I was shocked and looked around the hall. They all sat there and accepted this change blindly! It was there that I wondered if this was the real truth.

  I still continued to attend as a df'ed person and endured the shunning. I soon stopped attending after several weeks. This was several years ago and I am still amazed that people stay with it blindly. Now I am hearing that the Organization has made small changes with the blood issue and is in bed with the United Nations. I don't recall ever reading about Jesus and others waivering on God's laws. Ya....some Truth!!! I wonder if the JW's are allowed to donate blood, if my old congration will undisfellowship me?

  I do agree with your last paragraph......the older members do stay because of security and friendly suport.
• 

  karen7680

  I would like to add a reason #4: We couldn't live with the all the hypocrisy, even though we still believed it was the truth.

  I believed it was truth, yet I saw such hypocrisy in the witnesses. I saw cover-ups and the buddy-buddy system of the bodies of elders. Double standards were imposed depending on if you were related to some high-ranking brother.

  Sad to say ... I still believed it was the truth and whenever I expressed my concerns, the answer I always got was to "wait on Jehovah." "Jehovah will take care of it in his own due time." I finally got so tired of it, I decided I didn't want to in the "truth" even if it was the truth!

  Luckily, leaving enabled me to do some searching and discover and discover that none of it is the truth anyway.

  "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
  -Harvey Fierstein
• 

  sleepy

  Ok lets make it four.

  1.We did something "wrong" and were disfellowshipped and after felt able to look at the society in a different light.

  2.We didn't like the "truth"( or things happening in cong) and were looking for a way out.

  3.We wanted it to be the truth but were overcome by the mountain of evidence against it.

  4.Couldn't live up to standards or didn't make us happy
• 

  betweenworlds

  5. Their totalitarian rule didn't allow for freedom of thought or questioning.
  There came a point when there were just too many things that were obviously, point blank wrong and I couldn't stomach the hypocrisy of trying to convert other people (one of the many *requirements* to remain in good standing) to a way of life that I no longer condone or personally accept. That and sooooo many other things. I think many of us here could each write a small book containing our experiences.

  BW

  "The important thing is to not stop questioning" Albert Einstein