Your choice is your own, of course. But if you are looking for some direction in life, I would suggest Christianity. Pray about it, see where the Lord directs you. I had to pray long and hard about the Trinity because I (like you) had been so conditioned against it by JWs. But just be open to where God directs you.
Update: So I've been going to some meetings (and other things)
by WingCommander 56 Replies latest jw experiences
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38 Years
I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. It is great that you were able to work out arrangements for her that comforted everyone.
I respect that you need to make sure it is a good decision to be a Witness or not. Until 4 years ago, I felt the same way you did and for many years gave it a good hard try. After I did the research, I was able to quit and feel confident in my decision. By the time I quit, I was only attending sometimes on Sundays and going to the Memorial. I thought I could raise my son with the JWs and also compromise with having special days, gifts in December and let him do holidays at school. But I should have known this would never fly at the Kingdom Hall. Sooner or later you become accountable to a Witness kid at school or some brother/sister who finds out about it. My son had "worldly" friends that were good kids. Any witness friends would just get after him about doing wrong things. I was tired of forcing my son to go to meetings, and he absolutely did not like field service. Joining the ministry school couldn't even be discussed. How much more was I supposed to force him to do? I could not blame him and I didn't feel that I was a failure for him not desiring to be a part of the Kingdom Hall. Once I stopped walking the walk and talking the talk at the Hall, we got labeled as weak and unspiritual. One thing I always did was pray with him and teach him about God. He believes and prays still because he put these things into his heart, not his head. I still have not found a place to worship, and have issues on the Trinity, but I keep trying. In the meantime, I still feel loved by God and not condemned like I did when I was a JW.
It looks like your congregation is giving you some support and another chance. Just remember, they will want you to do things their way. If it works out for you at the Kingdom Hall and you are truly happy, that's great. You can always post and let us know how you are doing. Best of luck to you and your family.
38 Years
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smellsgood
Wing Commander,
I am so sorry to hear of you losing your Mother. Heavens knows my Mom is my rock, and I could not abide losing her in the next seven years before I'm thirty. I would feel lost and I can imagine your grief. I think from childhood its one of the scariest and most heartbraking thought; that of losing your Mother. I wish you the best.
I am rather astonished and it really hurts me though to know that you've gone back, however noncommittally to the WT in a way though. I can't understand what you are going through right now as I have my Mom, and am one of five. But it's just that I know what this org. truly is, and I don't believe that a false prophet and a false religion has anything good to offer you in a path to spirituality/God. I believe that you can believe in the resurrection etc. without ever going to another meeting ever again. I believe that you can have a relationship with God if you want without ever going to a meeting of a religion responsible for needless deaths, ruined families, and child abuse cover ups. I don't think that if there is a God who is good, that he would have anything to do with a religion like the WT. I'm not mad at you because I can't comprehend your grief and the trauma that you have endured. I don't think you should commit to anything when you've just been through such a shattering experience, you are sort of out to sea right now.
I do feel for you, it makes me cry sometimes even the thought of losing my Mom, and I worry for her health and safety alot. I hope you can get through it, and look at the WT with a clearer head down the line. I don't want you to get sucked back into the false promises and legalism of the pharasaical WT corporation. That would be a double tragedy.
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LeslieV
I am so sorry to hear about your mom, and you loosing all of your family.
Your life is your life. There is no one here making judgments against you. I know for myself I have had enough condemnation and judgment to last a lifetime. Just be cautious about life as a JW. The are all about judgment and control. Live your life for what is best for you and your child. Good luck to you.
Leslie
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Finally-Free
Sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my own mom nearly 6 months ago, and more than anything she wanted me to go back to the JWs. I can't do it. I just don't believe in it.
W
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Quandry
Very sorry for all you've been going through. It is hard to carry on when our parents leave us. It feels like there is a hole in our heart.
Your decisions are your own. I don't presume to judge anyone.
I did just finish reading your fourth post on this forum, though......
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minimus
Wing, I too am sorry for your loss(es).
Regarding going back, obviously you can do as you please. You do realize that because you've gone through a major loss, you're more vulnerable than you might think. Jehovah's Witnesses are a CULT. Going back to the cult is not really a good thing. Just because you don't plan on being a zealot, it doesn't mean that you're still not back in a cult. I hope you reconsider.
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akamai
Dear Wing Commander, I was so sorry to read your recent post. To lose both of your parents at your age has got to be unbelievably hard. ........I read some of your earlier posts and can see that you have a very sharp mind and were wise to come to this forum. You can tell from the above responses that you have lots of people who care for you.........I'm one of them.......
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BizzyBee
Wingy - my sincerest condolences to you on the loss of your mom. You are so young to have lost so much.
It is understandable that at a time like this you yearn for the comfort of what is familiar.
Bear in mind that many battered women stay with their tormentor for the same reason - the illusion of safety and comfort with the familiar. ("He may beat the living shite out of me, but he's all I've got.")
You know enough about the JWs to know that you can't walk in and out at will. Ultimately they will demand their dues.
Most importantly - what if your child embraced the WTS? What if your child needed a blood transfusion? Your child will, at the very least, be confused by being half-in and half-out of an apocalyptic cult. ("We're going to die at Armageddon, but we're not going to try to save ourselves.")
Wing, you think you can control this off-Broadway production (let's call it, "Only on Sundays!") that you propose, but at some point it can careen badly out of your control. Just Sundays? You've got the JWs mixed up with mainstream Christian churches. They're the ones who let you attend church on Sundays without trying to run your life the other six days of the week.
You may look back on this point in time and wish you'd gone to a nice little Presbyterian church around the corner.
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Vernon Williams
Wing,
I am new to the board and, to memory, have not read your posts.
First, I want to wish you the best over the loss of your family members. I lost my Dad in '82 and my sis about ten years ago to colon cancer....bad time....be assured of my empathy....
In regard to your return to the WT: I am somewhat "stumped."
In the book "1984," in the end, knowing "Big Brother" is a farce, the main charecter "returns" to the embrace of Big Brother. He is not moving toward the screen (or whatever was happening), but, his feet are making little movements under the table as if he were. That scene has haunted me since I read that book many, many years ago.
In my appraisal, you are returning to "Big Brother." You have, no doubt, researched enough to know the foundation for the suppossed authority (607 and the 144,000) is unprovable and everthing argues against thier idea. They have forged a "different Good News" and stand accursed before the throne of Christ as a result. They rewrite History: thier own and secular. They can not stand in an open debate on any of the central dogmas of the WT.
And, they lie. Worse, they require lying as a pledge of loyalty to the WT.
They are anti-Christ in the central goal of all JWs is to either destroy the relationship you have with Jesus or cause it never to form.
And, to top it off, many of the things you believe and will do with your self and child (ren) are against the teachings of the Org and will cause friction and strife.
Need I go on?......
So, I am baffled with your decision.
There must be (as Paul Harvey would say) something tied up "in the rest of the Story"
I feel sorry for your child (ren) the most: bringing them into contact with the mythical, non-Christian, un-reality of this destructive, delusional cult.
Had my say,
Yours in this Journey,
V