Can you choose which elders you wish to deal with ?

by JH 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  JH

  Lets say that there are 4 elders in your congregation, and you don't like 1 of them, don't trust another one, but like the 2 other ones for some reason.

  Now lets say that the elders you don't like that much come over and want to speak to you, would they respect you if you said, "I prefer to talk to the 2 other elders instead". I get along with them better than you guys.

  I compare this to a store. When you enter the store, sometimes you can choose which salesman you prefer buying something from. Why should it be different with the elders. Some you like, some you hate....
• 

  ButtLight

  On my first committee meeting, I had 3 guys who were related.........Father, son, and son in law! You know the rest.
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  darth frosty

  The way the borg mentality works is they would prefer you deal with the one you have problems with. They enjoy confrontations. Their reasoning is if you have a problem with someone who is an elder, by forcing you to ineract with that person it will make you more subserviant to the borg. Never mind that the elder in question may be a complete dick or utterly incompatent, they want you to submit to their authority.
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  Frank75

  Lets say that there are 4 elders in your congregation, and you don't like 1 of them, don't trust another one, but like the 2 other ones for some reason.

  In the dub elder world, visits are to counsel because the elders have come into some juicy gossip about you. That is what makes them spring to action. If you have friends on the elder body, then your enemies will be feeding this gossip to the elders who either don't like you or who you don't like. The ones you consider good or your friend do not know you are being visited.

  You can request the others, but if they are doing judicial investigation you may not get your wish. The gears being in motion make the visit confidential and outside prying elders are not welcome.

  If it is just a visit to see why you're not at meetings or something trivial, then you can blow them off, call your bodies and tell them to back off.

  Frank75
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  sspo

  If it's Judicial, you do not have a choice, you cannot pick who you want on it.

  The Body makes the decision privately.
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  emptywords

  I would just tell them where to go....a believe in the higher source that has justice and in the end will deal these creeps what they deserve....
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  SnakesInTheTower

  Frank75:

  If it is just a visit to see why you're not at meetings or something trivial, then you can blow them off, call your bodies and tell them to back off.

  you can just blow them off anyway. they are not your mommy. they are the BorgElders.

  My problem is not with the elders in the congo I attend. It is a well meaning friend from an old congo who is an elder. Calling to "check on me" all the time. I think he must have gotten the message about "dont ask dont tell". I am not in his congo, so he has no jurisdiction. Now he does not call me for anything, social or otherwise. Friend?....I hope so.

  SnakesInTheTower (of the "blowing them off" Sheep Class)
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  nvrgnbk

  Nope.
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  voltaire

  We were once told by a CO that if a publisher had a problem with a particular elder, he or she could request that he not be on the judicial committee. He did say, though, not to let the publisher hand-pick the committee. So you might get away with requesting that an elder with whom you don't get along not be on your committee. Give it a try,

  Ron
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  There is a slight way to manipulate which elders you deal with. Most publisher know how to do it.

  When you have a problem, you call Brother 1st Favorite and ask if you can speak to him and Brother 2nd Favorite.
  If Brother Least Favorite and anyone else have already been trying to speak to you, you need to brush them off
  saying you are busy. So you control what two elders speak with you about a matter. They might try to take the
  control away, but you seize it back. Call Brother 2nd Favorite shortly after, telling him that you want to speak to
  him, and you already mentioned it to Brother 1st Favorite.

  NOW- if you spoke about something that requires judicial actions, you already spoke to two that you would like to
  have on the committee. Most congregations would put Brother 1st and 2nd Favorite on the committee (probably greater
  than 75% would just automatically do it.) The third brother, that's tricky. The best way I have seen is to only try to
  remove the third brother if he is your total worst choice. When they put Brother Least Favorite on the committee, you
  have to either say that you and he have had some dealings in the past, making you uncomfortable with using him, or you
  have to just say, "Can you remove Brother Least Favorite? He's never given me a fair shake." This is not as hard as it
  seems. Most bodies cooperate with that, but many will not. It backfires if they do not cooperate. If they refuse, say "Now
  that he knows what I said, I cannot get fair treatment from him, so why should I show up?" That will usually get him off the
  committee. If there is any better excuse like, "He dated my sister" or "I work for the same boss" or "We are such good
  pals because I am at his bookstudy or volunteer to work with him at conventions" use that excuse first.

  Regardless of who replaces Brother Least Favorite, live with that replacement. If he isn't on the original committee, don't
  take a chance of replacing anyone for fear that he will be next in line.

  Many publishers do this, and I have always said that I would do it. I would speak out against one brother if he were
  my least favorite, and roll the dice for a better one. The JC shouldn't be biased against you for requesting a different
  elder.

  Running to another hall for your favorites NEVER works.