When does it get easier??

jibberish

I've been out (df'd) for over a year now and the last 6 months or so have my eyes really been opened to the real truth. Now I celebrate being Df'd, and have I realized I am finally free from the mind controlling stupid cult.

Life at times outside the borg is rough with my new "sea legs". I've lost my family, and all that I "thought" were my friends and I am not socialized to the real life outside the borg. New people I meet do not know I used to be a JW, yet I still feel ashamed inside just knowing they don't like me cause I'm weird (a JW), then I think, but wait, they don't know and I'm not anymore....

How long have you "been free" and how long did it take you to be at peace with yourself outside of the borg?

I have yet to post more about my story. Sorry it's taking so long, just painful to revisit, but I will get it done....

Thanks!

Jibberish

nvrgnbk

read alot

post alot

meditate

reach out to people like you are now

like the radiohead song says "immerse yourself in love"

you'll be fine

anewme

Isnt it wonderful when it finally dawns on you that you are FREE!!!!

For me it happened long after I was dfd. Boy do I wish I had all those tears back!

I actually did not understand what the heck had happened to me for the past 35 years until I found this website and began reading of other oddessys out of the borg.

I agree it is so freeing to throw the shackles off and say hello to the world anew!

dedpoet

Hi jibberish,

It took me about a year to get used to having the freedom of
not attending meetings etc, and I was a non-believing walkaway,
having researched the teachings, as well as reading Crisis of
Conscience while still a ministerial servant. By then, towards
the end of 2000 (I went to my last meeting in Nov 1999), I wasn't
referring to watchtower teachings as the "truth", and had built up
my social life outside the org.

There really is no set time period when it comes to getting over
being a jw, but trust me, it will happen one day. Just remember
that every day away from the org is another day of freedom, and
don't feel that you have to tell anyone that you are an ex jw - I
doubt they'd be interested anyway. The new friends I made after
leaving were interested in the person I am now, not the person I
had been as a jw. I'm sure those that you are meeting now are
the same.

dedpoet

ex-nj-jw

Hey jibberish and welcome to JWD.

I've been out for 24 years, walked away when I turned 18, never da'd, never df'd (I guess they could have df'd me, but none of my family has said anything), I just never went back to any meetings and refused to meet with the elders.

I never had the feelings that you are going thru, I always had friends that were not JW's and the one's that were JW I never missed at all. I think those of us who built a life outside the JW org have faired much better than those whose whole life was the BORG.

Just give it time, be sincere when making new friends. Friendship is built on trust so be honest with your new friends it will help them understand your "quirky ways" and maybe they will be able to be a better friend to you. Also remember true friendship takes time to build, it doesn't happen overnight, so be patient give it time.

nj

Hortensia

It will get better when you are busy and have new friends. So the thing to do is get out and get involved - I imagine you have a job, but also join some kind of group or volunteer for something interesting, maybe be a docent for a local park or museum - you will meet a lot of people and enjoy yourself and next thing you know you won't think about JWs at all.

jibberish

Thanks for your kind words and advice. I need to be patient and realize it takes time to heal and move on. And I agree, getting more involved in something in the community definaltely will help too.

Jibberish

Vernon Williams

Time out: four and a half years.

Time at peace: four and a half years.

You will be fine....do as the post below yours suggested: keep posting, reaching out, expanding....

V

greendawn

The more you study the subject and come to realise the depth of the deception the easier it becomes to be out, once it becomes as clear as daylight that the faithful and discreet slave status is a myth as are the promises of entering paradise through the WTS or that this cultic org is being used by god, the spell vanishes.

The key is to read a lot and create new social relationships outside the cult ie in the normal world and if you are not a JW people will soon notice it.

thepackage

I just stop going to meeetings three months ago and have too lost my family. I have a hard time on my old meeting nights so I just keep myself busy doing stuff like reading. Hang in there, I'm looking forward to my new life. Try something new everyday, learn who you are. Take care of yourself.

When does it get easier??

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