Hello nj,
So sorry to hear about your father. As for your mom, well that must be pretty hard to take. The more I think about her mentality, (my folks are pretty much the same) the more I think it's a coping mechanism. Since you non-JW kids are soon to be eternally dead why should she let you have any piece of her heart? It's just too painful for her. My $.02.
Take comfort in knowing you have friends here.
Open Mind