restrangled............are you my mother secretly posting here?!?!
Just kidding
R.F.
For mother's out there...cleaning a son's bedroom!
by restrangled 53 Replies latest jw friends
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cognizant dissident
This thread is making me feel a lot better! I thought I had the world's most disgustingingly dirty teenager. I thought I had gone horribly wrong somewhere. When my son was little, once a week we go through his room, taking all the garbage out, organizing everything. It never made any difference at all. I have given up. Our last house we just closed the door. But then the smell would waft into the hallway when we opened it. When we were showing the house for sale, my husband and I had to go in as a team and clean it up or noone would buy the house. We did that every day before the next showing.
In our new house, he has a loft on a floor all to himself and he pays a little rent. I never go up there if I can help it. There is no smell, because hot air and odors rise. I am greatly encouraged by the fact that he has started to shower daily without me having to tell him he stinks! He also throws his own clothes in the machine now without me pointing out how stained they are. He even washed his own bedsheets (after 6 months!) The rest of his room is still a foot deep in dirty dishes, pop cans, wet towels and garbage. I don't know what woman is ever going to put up with that! Only his mother I guess. I hope he is not still living with me when he is 42!
I refuse to clean it up though. I won't lift a finger. That is enabling. Unless there are special circumstances such as having to sell the house. Mostly it just amazes me at their ability to live in their own filth without grossing themselves out.
Cog (I'm so glad I'm not the only one)
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reneeisorym
And if it makes you mothers feel any better -- I was extremely messy as a kid and my parents through constant fits and it didn't help. I actually remember spilling a bowl of oatmeal and leaving it there until it was like dried glue in the carpet that she found one day. And I think my room had that same smell -- dirty socks/clothes ... dishes ... EEWWW!
But somehow I'm not like that now. I'm a little messy about leaving books out or my laptop laying around but never with dirty clothes or dishes. And I'm absolutely not cluttered at ALL -- everything has its place and its not in the corners. I'm also not a packrat. I don't know how this happened but I hoped it might give some hope. I think it was because my mom's house was very very neat and I was used to it and so neat feels comfortable.
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restrangled
Hey everyone thanks for your great responses!, You had me choking with laughter in between the fumigation rounds!
r.
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bisous
all I can say is at 20 there is no f'g way I'd clean his room .... unless he paid me. Hey, THERE'S an idea. Hire a cleaning service like Maid Brigade for 1-2x a month and make HIM pay. cheaper than rent somewhere else and you'll be rid of the odor.
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PEC
I'm with IP_SEC, kick him to the curb.
Philip
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compound complex
Just one more, r.!
Re: Mulan's comment on being born that way. Dad was a neat-nik [the stories my g'mother told me!] and Mom was a pack rat, but excessively hygenic. To this day I display traits of both parents: nothing whatsoever out of place, including my incredible pack rat's collection [neatly squirreled away]. Hygiene and good smells - # 1 priority.
When I was a little boy I decorated my room as best I could with early-American yard sale items - we were unbelievably poor. I mopped the floors, scrubbed the sidewalks, cleaned the basement, etc.
The upshot - I couldn't keep my peculiarly deviant behavior to myself; I had to invite the neighbor boys to see my handiwork.No wonder I was always beaten up.
CoCo Le Neat
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misanthropic
lol, yep sounds like you raised a pretty normal 20 year old guy to me. My brothers were always sloppy and messy and couldn't hang a towell to save their life. Of course maybe that was because my mom did everything for them ;-/
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Cicatrix
As a mom of four sons, including a twenty year-old, my advice to you is:
close the door to keep the stench in and ignore it
after a year or so when the stench finally hits their nostrils and they have nothing left to put on, something magic happens
THEY CLEAN IT THEMSELVES
Or they meet a girl they want to impress. Or in the case of my middle son-the girl comes over and tells them to clean the pigsty
LOL
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Cicatrix
My fourteen came up to me yesterday when I got home from yet another grueling day of nursing school and said "There's no clean towels."
I looked at him and said "You've got two hands."
"Yeah?" he replied
"You know where the buttons are on the washer and dryer, right?"
"Duh."
"Okay-you just woke up from napping all day, and I've been up since 5:30 doing school stuff."
"But there's no towels..."
"I taught you how to sort and wash laundry when you were ten."
"Yeah..."
"So...?"
Big sigh from him. "Yeah, I know-do it myself"
Bingo