Goodbye, my sweet sister (page 2)

IP_SEC

Hi sweet,

I disowned my baby sister for years because I loved her. Now we are both out and have a great relationship. Just leave the door open and wait. Accept her back with non-judgmental love when she comes around.

exwitless

Welcome to the forum, sweetface. I'm sorry to hear about your sister's reaction. Hang in there. Keep communication open on your end, even if she doesn't speak to you for awhile. Hopefully, she'll see by your actions that just because you left the organization, you haven't become an evil person and that you still love her. Maybe she'll come around.

PEC

sweetface2233, welcome to JWD.

I feel your pain, one day I will get up the nerve to contact my sister, so she can officially shun me, I keep chickening out.

Philip

sass_my_frass

so sorry. Pretty much exactly what my sister said.

It gets better eventually, but any change of heart that she might have in the future will be entirely in her own time. All you can do is heal the incredible hurt you're facing and get on with living and enjoying your own life. When I get upset about my family, I try to replace the hurt with pity for them. Work through it sometimes, put it behind you sometimes, punch a pillow sometimes, drink to them sometimes... the rest of the time focus on your own happiness and fulfillment. We get this one shot at living, so achieve what you want here and now.

Freedom: terrible terrible freedom! Welcome to the board.

I quit!

Welcome to the board Sweetface. What you are going through is a perfect example of how the Watchtower keeps people in their organization. A lot of people stay because they don't want to go through the situation you are in right now. As Gopher said to them the organization equals Jehovah so if you say something is wrong with the organization to them you are attacking God. They would see this as idolatry in any other religious group but are completely blind when it comes to the Watchtower. The Watchtower has pounded it in their heads that people don't leave for good reasons. They leave because they want to sleep around, do drugs or just leave "Jehovah's" council and do whatever they like. If you leave to become a Vegas stripper or leave to help the homeless it is all the same thing in their eyes. You have left the "truth" so you must be up to no good. They expect your life to fall apart and will be shocked when it doesn't.

Hopefully in time your sister will come to see some of the problems with the Watchtower and I'm sure you will be there for her if that happens. In the mean time I hope you will stick around this board. You will find lots of people here who are going through the same situation you are or have been through it.

BizzyBee

Welcome, Sweetface.

You are young, your sister is even younger - there is oodles of time for healing your relationship. I dare say that, in time, there is every likelihood that your sister will come around to your way of thinking and see the WTS for what it really is.

When I faded, I was disowned by my brother and shunned or kept at arm's length by most of my family. I did not have the internet and did not know any ex-JWs. Fast-forward to today: all of my immediate family are out and much of my extended family, too, with more coming out all the time. A second-cousin (ex-Bethelite) I am particularly fond of came out just in the last year. Even a few family members who are still JWs are now on speaking terms with me - a JW aunt and uncle had dinner with me and Mr. Bee in our home just last year (and we are not even married!)

Amazing things happen all the time, Sweetface! But it is important that people like you and I stand for the real truth, no matter what the consequences. Your sister is in bondage - you can show her how sweet freedom can be.

Cicatrix

Dear Sweetface,

Welcome to JWD! You will find lots of information here to help you understand your sister's response to you, and support while you learn how the highly controlling WTS has affected your entire life.

I remember what it was like when I was faced with the same questions six years ago that you are grappling with now {{{BIG HUG}}}. For me, there was no denying the issues regarding the WTS policy on abuse victims, because I was one of them. I LIVED it. Yet, undoing the 20 years of indoctrination I underwent, and working through the guilt and pain that indoctrination instilled in me took some time.

I specifically wanted to address what your sister said to you about leaving the organisation because you want to "have sex with every guy, get high all of the time, and get drunk every weekend."

Okay, WHERE have you seen and heard this before???? THE WATCHTOWER AND AWAKE MAGAZINES AND FROM THE PLATFORM. Constantly repeating the assertion that everyone who leaves the organisation does so to immerse themselves in this type of behavior is a controlling FEAR TACTIC the leaders use to keep members bound within the organisation!!

Your sister is parroting the party line. She has been indoctrinated to truly believe that by HEARING IT REPEATEDLY. She isn't able to think outside of that paradigm. She truly DOES think she's doing the loving thing, because the leaders are telling her that she is. Even though she thinks she is thinking for herself, she is NOT.Her love is conditional, because that's the only type of love the WTS teaches.And you are right- that is NOT what love is really all about!!

To her, God=the organisation. So when you admit to honestly questioning the organisation, that to her means you question God. SHE HAS BEEN TAUGHT THAT THE ORGANISATION=GOD. That is another way the leaders control their members.

These are two very important concepts for you to understand, because it will help you to understand how she can treat you like she is treating you.

Please don't beat yourself up for saying things you didn't mean in the heat of the moment. It's hard to deal with the enormity of what you are going through, let alone with someone you love deeply attacking you. When attacked, it's NATURAL INSTINCT to defend yourself.Your body is in sympathetic fight mode-on automatic pilot, so to speak.

You are not an evil person for taking an objective look at WTS policies and realizing they are hurtful to individuals and entire families!

You now have the freedom to read and learn-two things the WTS denies its members. Use it to your advantage, Sweetie. Knowledge is power. It will help you understand what you are going through, and it will help you heal.

And know you are not alone.You can find support here from others who have family members still in the WTS. They truly understand what you are going through.

I wish you peace,

Cicatrix

Sweetface,

I recommend going to the Best of section and reading about WTS control issues. I tried to cut and paste some of the links for you that I found helpful, but my mouse is worn out and won't let me do it.

Blueblades

Dear Sweetface, Welcome and know that you have many friends here. Many share the same kind of experience that you have shared with us. May you find comfort and relief here. Give it time and someday you will have your sweet sister back.

Blueblades

Mary

Welcome to JWD Sweetface. There are many here with stories similiar to yours. If your sister has decided to disown you for questioning the religion, it might help you in a couple of months to maybe sit down and write a letter to your sister explaining why you feel the way you do. The thing is, in this religion you're taught that to question the Organization is the same as questioning Jehovah himself and Witnesses cannot seperate the two.

There is so much information on here that you could copy and include in a letter to your sister that it would shock her. There are links showing that the Organization has stock in Phillip Morris, had a library card with the United Nations and have recently settled some 16 sexual abuse cases out of course (that is probably worth several million dollars), complete with a gag order.

It's one thing to tell a Witness something. It's quite another thing when you have legal or geniune documentation to back up what you say. It could be the first step to getting your sister to see the truth about 'The Truth'. It took many of us (and I include myself), years before the full impact of the Organization's hypocrisy and false doctrines hit us. Many on here used to be pioneers, MS's and elders who believed whole-heartedly that this was the one true religion.

Whatever you decide to do, it's good to have you here.

Goodbye, my sweet sister

Share this