SHE'S A JW- I AM NOT, WE WANT TO GET MARRIED

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We have been dating for 21/2 years (some would say secretly dating) and I care a great deal for her and I share the same feelings as her when I say we want to get married. I was raised in the church all my life now that we are talking about marriage my jw girlfriend is saying the only way we can get married is if I get baptise. I don't believe some of the things they preach(well many of the things) . I tried the whole study thing and it wasn't for me and i even had a "brother" get on me for coming to a wed meeting without a suit on (I got off work late and went straight to the hall). Should i go through the motions of studying AGAIN so that I can get baptised and marry this girl I love(i would more then likely stop going to the hall very soon after) We even went to see a pre marriage conselor who told us "that we should never ask some one to change the essence of who they really are".

Should i keep working to find a way to work our situation out or is this just a dead deal?

What-A-Coincidence

nay

LoverOfTruth

I was raised in the church all my life now that we are talking about marriage my jw girlfriend is saying the only way we can get married is if I get baptized

It won't work. You'll be miserable living a lie.

LeslieV

I know you might care for her, but living everyday with a person that doesn't share your belief system wears thin real fast. What about children? Are you going to be able to give them a blood transfusion if their life depended on it? What about Christmas, birthdays, are you willing to raise your kids without it, or fight with her all the time if you want them to have holidays?

I have to tell you I know many kids raised in divided homes, and the children have very divided loyality for the parent that is not a JW. Remember they are taught from infancy that if you don't worship Jehovah, or to be more accurate Jehovah's Witnesses you will die. Think what that does to a kids mind.

Please really think about it?????? I think you need to turn it around, and tell her unless she leaves this cult it is over...period.

Leslie

LoverOfTruth

I think you need to turn it around, and tell her unless she leaves this cult it is over...period.

And even if she leaves the Cult, you'll have to deal with her baggage. There is a strong possibility she will return to them after you're married. You will have very lonely life.

LeslieV

So true Loveroftruth!!! Take it from all of us.... we still have baggage or we would not be here.

Leslie

zeroday

Should i keep working to find a way to work our situation out or is this just a dead deal?

Try this test, take a hammer and bash your thumb as hard as you can if you are not bothered with that then go ahead with your plan. Because the hammer to your thumb will be the least of your pain in the years to come...

Honesty

Go ahead and get baptised and marry her...

You'll be making the two worst mistakes of your life that you will regret for eternity.

Some of us on this board have the TEE shirts to prove it.

horrible life

2 and 1/2 years seems like a long time. Trust me, it isn't. You have 50 decent years left. Cut your losses now, and leave. If she is so en-grained in the "truth" , you aren't going to change her. She wants to marry a witness, and if you get baptised, and then drop out, she won't get her wish for life.

You need to be happy, and being married to a witness, is by no means the road to happiness.

Throw in the towel now, both of you will be happier.

reneeisorym

She wants to marry a witness, and if you get baptised, and then drop out, she won't get her wish for life.

Then she will constantly look down on you because you aren't going to meetings. Ideally she wants an elder for a husband or she feels like she has failed at life.

I was a JW and a guy got baptized to be able to marry me. It was a life of pure hell. He couldn't be honest with me about how he really felt about the JWs. I always looked down on him as subhuman. I always made him feel like he wasn't good enough. And it is horrible having your wife not respect you. A man needs to be cherished and respected and a JW will never be able to do this. We got divorced and afterwards I found out that the JWs were not the truth. I felt like our trust had been broken because he wasn't honest with me when we got married. I regret marrying him and even though he still loves me, it never would have worked considering whe he did.

Just trust us on this one. Save yourself some pain and leave her .... now.... I know it will hurt but it will be nothing like the 50 years of misery you have ahead of you if you stay with her.

Renee

SHE'S A JW- I AM NOT, WE WANT TO GET MARRIED

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