Went to a party last night...feel guilty this morning

by neverendingjourney 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • esw1966
    esw1966

    My experience has been that my mind was so full of the jw stuff that until I was in a particular situation I wasn't even aware that that feeling existed. So I put myself in some of those situations so that I can prove to myself what is good or not.

    Some examples: I went onto a military boat that asked you to salute the flag as you entered it. It was the first time I had saluted the flag. I thought it felt a little corny, but it was a jw 'hurdle' to get over.

    Singing 'Happy Birthday'. That was a tough one. I had to work on that. I would sing it in the car to practice. Still feels wierd, but is it wrong? NO. So I put myself through it.

    I stayed out of the hall for about a year. Then I went back to it to check it out and see what my opinions were of it. When I left and went to the grocery store old feelings of being isolated from the 'worldly people' crept in. I found that very strange. I never realized I had that feeling. Before going to the store I had felt very comfortable and I enjoyed those people. But after coming out of the hall, suddenly they all felt very wierd and worldly to me. Amazing!

    I went to a Baptist church today for the first time to check 'em out. (I go to 2 community churches regularly) Suddenly those old prejudices came back. Didn't feel like praying with them because maybe they weren't praying to the same God I did. All those old little feelings.

    I figure I need to experience things. That way I will be more well rounded out. Also, it will show up those dark looming thoughts that I am not aware of and I can work at getting rid of them. Then I will be happier!

    Hope that helps.

    Ethan

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    The guilt of doing something you want to with people you like, breaking some "taboos" whilst setting limits for yourself, will pass in time.

    It's not a crime to sample and enjoy life

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    I ,,,,, smoked a few cigarettes, but I avoided the marijuana.

    Well, you got that backwards.

  • Insomniac
    Insomniac

    Mincan, may I respectfully suggest that Marijuana may not be the cause of your memory loss and loss of mental accuity? In my experience, reefer is far less damaging to one's thought process than is overuse of alcohol. Three of my friends are frequent smokers, and also happen to be three of the most intelligent and articulate people I know. My friends who are heavy drinkers, however, are a bit on the simple side. When I drink, I lose i.q. points at a rapid rate, but when I smoke, it's more like a veil has been lifted, and I think quite clearly. Also, while alcohol depresses me to a dangerous degree, a quick smoke makes me happy and gregarious.

    Please understand, I am not trying to insult you, only to share what my experience in these matters has been.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Time to light one one up RF!

  • Missanna
    Missanna

    what you need to do is go to an insane party don't hold anything back and do what you want. drink way too much, smoke whatever you want, and party like a rockstar the next day you'll be hung over and you'll be in too much pain to focus on the guilt. it will go away eventually.

  • eclipse
    eclipse

    Mincan,

    Marijuana's effects are not permanent. Your perceieved slowness of mental capacity is indictive of depression and over drinking...

    marijuana will not make you stupid...except in the moment, and that is when you smoke too much.

    A little is ok. stay away from cigs, way too addictive...

    Lay off the booze...seriously....it might be your undoing..and do you really need to hit rock bottom before you do something to help yourself get out of the depression you are in?

    I'm worried about ya...

    As for neverendingjourney, guilt is only useful if you do something to hurt someone else....drinking and smoking is not bad...just not that great for ya, but no reason to feel guilty about it....you live only once.

    amen to Nvr's post too.

  • lrkr
    lrkr

    are you sure its not just a hangover???

  • penny2
    penny2

    It's strange what makes us feel guilty. I still felt guilty about birthdays long after I had ceased feeling guilty about sex (as a single person).

    After a while I no longer felt guilty about celebrating birthdays at work with complete strangers but still couldn't bring myself to go to a birthday party with other ex-JWs in the family. WORK THAT OUT!

    It seems that feelings of guilt are not a good indicator of whether an activity is acceptable.

    If you decide mentally that it's not wrong, go for it (as long as it's generally acceptable behaviour). Have something planned for the next day so you don't have time to feel guilty. Maybe get a "partner in crime" if possible.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Alright.

    Time to burn another one RF!

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