After 6 years, I still have dreams about my old friends and I'll wake up feeling really sad. It's not that I miss THEM, really, but I miss having friends, period. Being abandoned by so many so quickly left me without a single friend from my childhood. When coworkers talk about friends from elementary school, I have none to mention: I rejected all of my wordly classmates and my witness friends rejected me. I sometimes see them on the street, and, although I know they'll never speak to me, I sometimes wish they would, so that I can let them know I'm not the bad person they assume me to be. Am I being too sentimental?
Were You Surprised That Your JW "Friends" Dumped You After All These Years?
by minimus 46 Replies latest jw friends
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Gregor
...I sometimes wish they would, so that I can let them know I'm not the bad person they assume me to be. Am I being too sentimental?
Perfectly normal for a normal person. Just keep your guard up about caring what they think. You know who you are.
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ex-nj-jw
I didn't have many JW friends so it was not a loss. My parents and 2 siblings that are still JW's don't "really" shun. They do it when it's convienent for them or around other JW's. Sometimes I wish they would shun me!
nj
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monophonic
surprised and hurt...even though it was 'rumored' that i was inactive. dropped like that from supposed life long friends who went into elaborate stories of what i was doing....that i wasn't doing.
surprised and hurt that these so called christians and friends of over 20 years didn't call or get in touch to see if i was ok, just decided to slander me.
more proof jws are far from christianity....i thank them for the realization and understanding my misplaced loyalty.
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jaguarbass
When I left in 83, I knew what kind of critters I was dealing with. So, I cut them off, a reverse psychology effect that they could not get their minds around. I still get invited to get togethers with my elder brother in laws which I rarely attend. I might go if there is a good meal and drink involved and its at my feeding time. And then I say I'm sorry but I got to eat and run.
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restrangled
No Minimus,
From family to friends, it was always expected. When it happened I was not surprised, it just hurt that my worry about beloved individuals and family did so easily dump me like a hot potato when the mood finally struck. (It's called....... "Conditional Love"
r.
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helncon
No i did it first.
I stopped having anything to do with my JW friends before i left.
It was just easier that way.
Though at the same time i was picking up 'worldly' friends.
Helen
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The Humper
not really, though i do have some friends who might actually say hi if they saw me and knew no other witnesses were around.
and there is one guy who is more like a brother then a friend, hes an MS and is "going to be good till his friends weddings are done." hes in a few weddings and wants to be there for that occasion. ive offered for him to come live with me for a bit so he can fade out. we had a discussion about some of the things most R&F arent aware of like the whole UN and Rand Cam stuff.
makes me wonder if he lingers on here or not.
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GoingGoingGone
I wasn't dumped immediately. I had lots of phone calls, cards, and visits from good friends. But when they realized that I wasn't staying away from the meetings because of my health problems, and I wasn't willing to talk to them about why I was staying away, their interest dried up pretty quickly.
And yes, it hurt. Still does. A friend and I went to lunch a couple months back, and she literally started crying, telling me that she's never had a friend like me and hasn't found another in the hall that she feels close to like me. I told her that I hadn't gone anywhere and that she was always welcome at my house, to call, etc. I haven't heard from her since.
GGG
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troubled mind
What really hurts is the hatefulness they show now when we bump into each other in Public. Today in the grocery store ran right into the' head matriarch ' of our old hall. When I said 'Hello ', she gritted her teeth and said ' hello' back then turned away . Her face grew cold and hard as she replied . Then at the check out another witness did the exact same thing . Then an old couple walked in ( because of ill health this elderly man seldom was regular and I imagine he doesn't attend at all now ) . He got a huge smile on his face when he saw me , brought his wife over and was so happy to catch up with me .He asked about the family and was so loving and kind . His wife never was a witness ,she told me they had just moved into a retirement home, and it was a good thing their two (nonjw) sons helped them with everything because there sure was no one else they could rely on . I got her drift . After I left the store I thought about how bad I could have felt for the cold shoulder the other two gave me , but I realized what a great lesson it was on who was really loving . The kind man because he missed so many meetings was never given much attention by those in the hall . Now that he is just living to take care of himself and his wife he looks really happy . Thankfully he hasn't been poisoned by their rotten fruits.