what's the point

Hortensia

so my husband's trial starts July 23 and even though logic tells me it won't happen, I'm terrified that some nice jury will say "oh you poor thing, meth made you try to kill your wife, and I'm sure the cop you tried to kill understands, and the fact that they had to shoot you and taser twice and then five cops jumped you is punishment enough." If they turn him loose the first thing he will do is come and kill me. And my friends and the cops and my shrink all say they'll protect me so I can see the scenario: "Hi hubby, let me make you a cup of coffee while I call the cops and my friends and my shrink who has personally promised to come and kick your ass. While we're waiting for them, let's just catch up - how's your life been?"

and I got on the scale this morning - 101.5 pounds lost. It seems pointless and it made me cry. I've been crying for two hours now. I can't take my antianxiety med because I have to go to work, and I have to drive, and anyway I'm already taking two antidepressants and a sleeping pill at night in addition to the anxiety med, so you'd think I would feel better.

so here I am starting all over again, at this age. I don't want to do it.

LeslieV

Hortensia,

Have you been connected to a Domestic Violence Program? Most have support groups so that you can speak to others in similiar situations in life. You need support through this. Do you have to go to court? If you do the DV program will provide a court advocate to accompany you.

I really am sorry you have to experience this. It is no fault of yours, it is his. He is a criminal. Doesn't change the fact that you were married to him and cared for him. It is such a mind F..k That is why many woman who have lived in this experience PTSD. You lived in insanity.

We are here for you.

Leslie

bikerchic

((((((((Hortensia)))))))

so here I am starting all over again, at this age. I don't want to do it.

Yeah you do cuz you absolutely rock woman! You have so much to offer and life is all about what we can do for others.

As far as your X's trial, I think most people are generally fed up with druggies and all the damage they do to society. Out of 12 people it's a good bet that everyone of them has some how been affected negatively by a druggie in their life or at least knows of someone who has been. It's pretty much a slam dunk he will do some time for his bad behavior, but IMHO not enough time!

Hang in there hun this will all turn out good.

snarf

You go girl !!!!! Awesome on the weight loss. I have been in your shoes, so I speak from personal experience here. First, contact the domestic violence advocates in your area, they will help you get set up for the worse case scenario. I assume you have already set up new bank accounts that this a--hole has no access to, as well as a cell phone to carry day and night. Isn't it awful how they can control and scare the crap out of us even behind bars? I too needed madication to sleep, stay awake, and just make it thru the day. If ya need a friend or need to talk with somne who has been in your shoes, please p.m. me. I am here for you. I have thankfully stayed out of that situation for 5 yeas now...yahoooo. I also have an awesome book that I am gonna recommend to you, I will send you a p.m.

restrangled

Hortensia,

You've got pretrial jitters and are envisioning a most unlikely outcome.

I cannot believe what you are going through, and hope you can stay out of that court room until it's over. You must go on and make a peaceful life for yourself.......it will happen soon. "It's darkest just before the dawn."

Thinking about you and wishing a quiet peaceful life for you.....

Much love,

r.

mrsjones5

Does he know where you are? If so can you get to a safe house or find someway to disappear? Is there anyone who can help you?

Mum

Hortensia, I am so sorry. In your situation, I would imagine those awful impossibilities also. Domestic violence is taken much more seriously than it used to be. Lots of help is available. Judges are much more likely to convict.

All of what I said is true, but I know it's cold comfort in your situation. I hope your employer is understanding and you have friends and resources to help you over this huge hump.

Hugs,

SandraC

Hortensia

Thanks, everyone. I know logically that he will probably never get out of jail as he is 62 and in bad health anyway. It's just emotionally I can't handle it. I have somewhere to disappear to if he gets out, and anyway he won't have any assets - no wife, no money, no car, no job, so it wouldn't be easy for him to track me down. I have a lot of support, just some really dark nights.
I'm at work now so will reply to pms later. Thanks - I was about as low as a worm's belly this morning.

changeling

Think positively hortensia. And stay strong. You've gotten this far, be proud of yorself.

Do be careful though, if he does get off. Get all the protection you can, and don't take any chances.

changeling

rekless

Do you have a stay away order, and restraining order--if not AWARE which is a Domestic Violence Organization in California will help you fill the orders out and even accompany you to court. They will even pay your fees.

You need to keep documentations about every call you receive from him and dateds times and conversations--if you have not done so start and get a catalouge set up for futher calls to 911 if you have to post everything no matter how minute.

It will impress the judge as well as any police that answeres your DV call.

Remember document document document.

& prosecute,prosecute, prosecute.

Group conceling is great too as been suggested.

I worked for AWARE and DV is prosecuted haesly in California now as long as the victim does not drop the charges.

remember you are a victim but you want to be a survivor.

good luck and hang in there

what's the point

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