My past weekend

by Leander 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Leander
    Leander

    Saturday afternoon I made the decision to step down as a minsterial servant. I had given it a lot of thought and I came to the conclusion that I would be doing the right thing. I told my wife about the decision I had planned on making and that basically killed her mood for the rest of the day. Since she did'nt seem interested in talking to me much at that time I went to hang out with one of my friends for the remainder of the day. (he's an inactive witness)

    Anyway I got back home later that day to find my wife sitting in our bedroom with all the lights out. She told me she had spoken with her sister about my decision, to make a long story short I ended talking to her sister that night for about 4 hours. We talked about why I felt the WTS was'nt really God's true organization and she basically countered with reasons why it is God's org.

    I ended up hanging up the phone half believing and not believing I was in the right org. The next morning I told my wife I was'nt going to the Kingdom Hall. Instead I stayed home and prayed to God and asked him to show me the right direction to go into even if that direction was'nt the one I was expecting. I then thought about my situation some more and it occured to me that if was to really find the truth I would have to have a more unbiased opinion.

    It really makes sense that when you're trying to decide what to do that you should'nt be to persuaded by one particular viewpoint. One the one hand the WTS does'nt really want you to read anything thats not published by them when it comes to studying the bible and the other hand you have some individuals who really hate JW's and they will say anything to convince people to leave.

    So the question I'm still facing is what information can I refer to make a well informed decision?

    Later that evening (Sunday) I received a call from my PO. I had earlier asked my wife to ask him to give me a call. I had originally intended on telling him that I was stepping down. Instead I was completely honest about the doubts I had been experiencing. I felt that I could trust him because his wife has always treated me like one of her sons and he himself is normally very warm to my wife and I.

    Anyway we had a conversation about what I was going through and he gave some reasons as to why JW's was the true religion. This conversation would make the third one I had with elders. The thing that bothers me is that in each of these little talks the elders all questioned as to why I was having doubts. They all asked me what could I be possibly be doing to have these doubts. This really annoys me, a person sincerely is looking to know whats right but instead of getting reassurance I first had to be almost accused of doing wrong.

    Like I mentioned before I usually get along with the PO but after that phone call I felt like I had done something wrong because I had doubts. I was actually criticized for wanting to be sure of what I was doing was the right thing. This is in addition to the other converstations that I had where they said I was hurting my wife (as if I intentionally was trying to have doubts). In fact I've already been looked at by her family suspiciously. Its almost if some of them believe I'm trying to do something evil.

    At the moment I've decided to stay, which is basically moreso because of the peer pressure. But in the meantime I'm studying and trying to figure things out.

    I just had to get that off my chest, thanks for listening (or reading in this case)

  • JBean
    JBean

    Leander... thank you for sharing your heart with us. I totally understand where you're coming from. I keep coming back to this board because I feel the need to be informed. I encourage you to keep at it and don't "neglect the fellowship" of those here that have come to know you a bit and feel for you. If you haven't already, PLEASE read Crisis of Conscience! --JBean

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum

    Leander:

    Continue to do your research and you will arrive at the right decision at the right time. Do not give the benefit of the doubt to either those who say you should stay or those who say you should leave. Make the right decision based on what ultimately makes sense to you.

    Richard

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Leander - based on your personal circumstances this must be an extremely difficult situation for you! I pray that you and your family are able to work through this together as a unit, and perhaps grow w/one another in the process.

    Many persons in the Bible had "doubts" (i.e. where'd the expression doubting Tom come from?). To sum it up in a "human" nutshell, ones relationship w/God is one's relationship w/God. I hope that you find answers to your questions, because the rest of mankind would surely like to know the same thing [:}]. This has been an issue that has plagued mankind since the inception of mankind. If the JW's do have the honest answer & are the truth, one can only surmise that God still knows what is truly in the hearts of all people, and nothing you can do or say will change that period.

    Keep posting tho Leander - you are obviously an extremely thoughtful and intelligent human being & I enjoy reading your posts.

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Leander,

    Thanks for sharing, REALLY, I mean that. So, was the decision to remain in the Society, but step down as MS, or are you still going to MS as well? I confuse easy.

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • Rex B13
    Rex B13

    Leander,
    I was right where you are about three years ago. Feel free to e-mail me if you ever want to talk. I also asked God to direct me to 'truth'. I didn't like what I found out at first and it's been a long road with lots of turns. My wife and two sons all left together and we eventually joined a S. Baptist Congregation. You may have heard of Paul Blizzard, who pastors a SBC church. Lots of ex-dubs end up in REAL Christianity and saved. Lots end up in no religion too.
    Youmight try joining [email protected]. I know you will get a non-proseltyzing style of Christian input for you to think about.
    My prayers are with you and yours. If you want, send me a name for your family to be on our prayer list.
    Rex

  • messenger
    messenger

    I understand your dilemma regarding all your friends and family. I would like to offer a word of caution you need to stop talking to anyone. The elders already have more than enough to df you and will do so without you even showing up for a judicial meeting. Why do I say this? You mentioned you have spoken to the elders on three occasions expressing doubts about the organization. There are your two witnesses against you. If more are needed they will call in your wife’s friend for further collaboration and then maybe your wife also if they need it.

    The only reason this has not happened yet is because you have agreed to give it another try. The moment you stop attending meetings or say you are not going to continue it will be over, chop-chop.

    I hate to be pessimistic but if you were really going to stay within you would not be posting on this board. This is the wild west with open thought and all ideas welcome. Some you may agree or disagree with but that is the cost of freedom. I would get ready for difficult times ahead. The minute you stop offering magazines all your “friends” will evaporate and betray you in any way possible. It is a sad truth so many have experienced on this board.

    So again lay low keep you mouth shut to JW’s about any doubts you may have. Continue to do private research the internet is a excellent resource. Find the truth! You might try reading Steve Hassan’s Book, “Combating cult mind control.” It does not mention one word about JW’s so you wife should not be upset to know you are reading it. Yet it will open your mind to the “reality.” Many have often called finding the truth “the journey”, like a journey into the unknown you do not know what the end result will be yet you have to have the courage to embark.

    This seems to be your decision, if so I wish you God’s speed and fair winds on your quest.

  • roybatty
    roybatty

    >>I was completely honest about the doubts I had been experiencing.<<

    Bad move dude.

  • NameWithheld
    NameWithheld

    Good luck to you. You face a REALLY tough decision - and it all comes back to the massive control the religion holds over your life. Want out of the religion? Fine, but we will take your wife, all your friends, and your family. That's one reason I think there are MANY MANY MANY people in the JWs who are in a 'holding' pattern just like you. They see the problems in their world, but choose to ignore them to avoid the massive penalties involved with leaving the JW world.

    I will say this to you - me and my wife have never been happier, healther, and more satisfied with our lives than now. Do we 'have the answers'? Know what the 'true religion' is? Nope. Never will either. And you know what? That doesn't matter! That's the true struggle, becoming aware of the fact that humans will never answer the age old relgion/god debate - so why pound your head against a brick wall trying?

    I do agree with messenger - you'd better be careful you're giving the elders plenty of ammo to DF you. If they want to. Toe the line for now and they will probably let you go - if you answer yes to the question "Do you thing JW are god's one true org". But keep up the doubt talk and prepare for the worst. JWs are not allowed to have doubts. And it's not possible for the majority of JWs to think you can have doubts 'on your own' they feel it MUST come from apostates - though you seem to have been having them way before you ventured here. You are just discovering some interesting things you never knew about your religion here. What you do with the info is up to you. Best of luck!

  • barry
    barry

    Dear Leander,
    Ill give you a site to read it will give you a different slant to approach the question of, where is gods organisation, it can only be the Jehovahs Witnesses roundabout arguement. This artical will explain it better than I could and its about how the Reformers dealt with this issue. http://www.goodnewsunlimited.org.au/gnu-sda2.htm
    Barry

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