Porn and teenagers

by Paralipomenon 15 Replies latest social family

• 

  Paralipomenon

  Reading this thread ( www.jehovahs-witness.com/15/138210/1.ashx ) triggered a thought for me.

  My oldest brother showed me a magazine he had aquired and then hid it. I couldn't find it, so I wanted to get one of my own. I had actually been caught stealing a copy of Playboy from a pharmacy. Since I was young, I went through a child court system and they asked me why I felt I should steal it, why didn't I just buy it?

  I was confused and said that I wasn't old enough to buy it. They quickly agreed, but that clicked something in my mind... why didn't I even try to buy it? End result was I had it on my record for a year, at which point it was erased, I went through a JC who focused more on the stealing aspect than what it was to be used for and I was on PR for a year. (they forgot to take me off).

  After that, there was a small convience store that was renowned for selling cigarettes to kids so in the future I just went there and bought some magazines normally.

  Now I have three sons, still quite young, but at some point they will hit puberty and will have these issues to deal with themselves. I am somewhat torn.

  Do I admonish porn knowing that very well they may seek it out privately, perhaps falling into the same legal problems I did? Do I sneak them a copy of a tame magazine and tell them to keep it secret? That just doesn't sound like being a good parent.

  Rather torn on the issue. Ignore it and hope they make correct choices? Supply it, but try to teach moderation?

  Gah, anyone else have any thoughts/experience on this matter?
• 

  ButtLight

  Well, these days, they can get them from friends anywhere.....believe me......i have washed several of torn out pages from my 17 year old son for years now.

  I chose not to embarrass them, and let them be. I have a 13 year old, and when he was 12, he told me one night he was sleeping on the couch, to wake up to the show "girls gone wild". He said he couldnt shut it off, and stayed up till 2 am. (summer time). I didnt know what to say!! Its natural, so what do you say? So, I just giggled a bit, and said you shouldnt be watching that stuff, and dropped it.

  Its tough to deal with the what is right and wrong way to go about it at that age. I personally think its something they need to go through by themselves. But just my opinion, others may feel the need to talk to them, and it works too.
• 

  Dragonlady76

  I would not buy them porn, kids now are a lot more savy, they have the internet and don't need a magazine as a sole source of porn pictures.

  The best thing to do is to instill good morals in your kids (stealing is wrong) and try to keep the lines of communication open, that way they will comfortable comming to you rather than hiding from you.
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  prophecor

  Boys will be boys and we all find just the right toys to keep us occupied.

  Your attempted assistance in this matter will mostly be, unecessary.
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  Wordly Andre

  Seeing that you have internet access, I don't think magazines will be a problem.
• 

  delilah

  Boys will be boys and we all find just the right toys to keep us occupied.

  Your attempted assistance in this matter will mostly be, unecessary.

  .....We knew one of our two sons was viewing porn on the net, we figured it was the eldest one. When we realized it was the youngest one, I was surprised. The stuff he was watching, was very disgusting....we then found out his 12 year old friend has been watching it for years at his house, and that's where my son began to watch it. We no longer let him stay at that boy's house, but we talked to him about it, and about having respect for himself, and for girls.

  Yes, boys will be boys, and I don't worry too much about it, really, but for heavens sake, why so damned young???? Kids are growing up far too early I think. They aren't allowed to be kids for very long. We, as parents have to be prepared to deal with stuff like this, before they even reach puberty, as they are bombarded with it.

  Thank goodness we are a liberal family....we can talk about sex freely, without too much embarrassment on the part of the boys. Unlike in my family when I was growing up.
• 

  Wordly Andre

  I agree with Delilah, has anyone ever seen that move KIDS? what an eye opener, everyone things my kids aren't like that, but............
• 

  Paralipomenon

  As for the internet, I am planning on locking that up completely. There is plenty of stuff out there that shouldn't be viewed by children and not just limited to porn.
  
  In typing up this reply I got a flashback of a memory from my childhood that I had repressed for many years. Truly traumatic, but I think I know what to do now.
  
  Thanks to all that offered their advice.
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  bigdreaux

  i think being open with your kids and letting them satisfy their natural curiosities is the way to go. if your able to be open with them, and give them a healthy view of sex, you have a better chance than just trying to lock everything up. they will get their hands on it, and if they feel like they can't learn from you, they will learn from someone else. that's what happened to me.
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  misanthropic

  I think your situation is pretty rare. I wouldn't think you'd have to worry- in the history of teenage boyhood I 've never heard of a shortage of porn magazines (I had brothers).
  And these days with the internet, one would think magazines aren't really all that necessary.