Porn and teenagers

by Paralipomenon 15 Replies latest social family

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  seawolf
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  Madame Quixote

  I guess you should talk about what it is about porn or the porn industry that bothers youpersonally, if anything.

  Is it the objectification of people? If so, then remind your kids that the people posing in those pictures or films are real people, just like you and me, and that what they are doing is posing - just like in the movies. And just like in the movies, actors don't necessarily always agree with, respect, or identify with the characters they play; they just play them for money or because it interests them; sometimes they like it and sometimes they don't; and, very importantly, sometimes they will pretend that this or that is wonderful, because it sells, and selling it is what it's all about - especially selling fantasies to repressed (young) people.

  Porn is just a job and it's make-believe at the same time, and "make believe" is not a sin or a crime until exploits or damages a person or a group of people. Porn is a kind of make-believe that can cause damage if it is abused and if its workers are abused, which is something that frequently happens.

  Young people should be aware of this and should be protected from such abuse until they are able to decide how to spend the money they earn themselves. If they're spending YOUR money on stuff you don't like, you have a say, and you should say what you think. You have the purse strings.

  Balanced, adult guidance and experience is essential. It seems to me you will have a middle-of-the-road strategy, based on your own unpleasant and repressive experiences!

  May you and your kids be balanced, safe, and well! Best wishes!
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  helncon

  I think it comes from how you deal and have dealt with their questions.

  How open you are and what morals you want to install in them.

  Good Luck

  Helen
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  GentlyFeral

  Here's a little gem from Dan Savage (you know there's nothing wrong with that ;)):

  Look, IPRUDE, like a lot of hipster parents, you've concluded that your enlightened attitudes toward sex obligate you to smile on your son's taste in porn and his masturbatory habits. After all, you wouldn't want your son to judge the porn you like or make you feel bad about masturbating, right? So wouldn't it make you a hypocrite if you judged his porn and made him feel bad about masturbating? No, IPRUDE, it wouldn't, and here's why: because you don't live in his house, he lives in yours; you're old enough to understand the difference between porn sex and real sex, he's not; you're not using his computer, he's using yours.

  Sorry, IPRUDE, but you have to say something to him because you're the parent. And there are times when a parent—even a pro-sex, GGG [Good, Giving, and Game], bisexual parent—has to make her kid feel uncomfortable. The conversation you're about to have is gonna make your son wanna die, of course, but someone has to tell him that he's not the porn ninja he thinks he is.

  The rest is here.

  Edited to include this followup:

  Here's an update for the internet age: IPRUDE should clear the cache of her internet browser, so the zillions of porn website addresses don't show up as soon as she begins typing a URL. Cache cleared, Mom should type in some made-up URLs: www.stoplookingatporn.com, www.asianslutsarepeopletooyouknow.com, and www.fortheloveofgodjasonquitwatchingexploitativeasianporn.net, etc. It won't matter that these websites don't exist; the browser's autocomplete function will list them as soon as her son types the first letter of his favorite porn URL.

  [signed]
  Modern Times

  gentlyferal
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  Jim_TX

  ButtLight said - "Its tough to deal with the what is right and wrong way to go about it at that age. I personally think its something they need to go through by themselves."
  
  Wow! Well, 13 may be a bit young, but I hope that you don't just ignore the fella and hope he works it all out.
  
  I remember when I went through puberty. I had no dad, and my mom failed miserably at the 'birds and bees' speech. (Mothers - don't show your boys a wrapped up used tampon and tell them that this is what gals go through once a month.)
  
  I never want to go through something as awkward as puberty again, not knowing anything - or what was happening to me.
  
  Regards,
  
  Jim TX
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  greendawn

  I remember I also purchased a porn mag illegally when I was around 15, the shop keeper took a risk to make the profit on the mag, he didn't know whether I was an agent of the police or not.

  Nowadays there is so much porn on the internet teens don't have to rely on magazines to see them, sometimes when I go to internet cafes they are there looking at hard porn some are as young as 12.