When did kids get all the options?

by Sparkplug 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    I am going to post this at the risk once again of just sounding a bit frusterated.

    Today at work we were speaking of the "golden days" as it was mentioned. You know when you were dirt poor and everybody else was too. You ate what you were served and it may have really sucked, and you better not have made a face especially not in public because that would be so disrespectful and rude to your parents. Quite shameful and embarrassing in fact for your mom. Basically it let everyone know you were a pretty 'bad kid" and your mom needed to beat your ass. Like what gave you the right when you parents worked so hard for you to thumb your nose at what they obviously did their damn best and still could barely scrape by to give you. Show some respect...right? Or am I off?

    Your clothes were what hand me downs fit out of the hand me down bag and you were actually pretty excited when a new bag showed up. Trying anything to make one thing or another fit or look cool. Sometimes you suprised your parent by having your room organized and the house extra clean just because and if you got in trouble and assigned and extra chore, you did it because you knew there was nothing happening till it was done. Now that something happening was usually just going to your best friends house to giggle in her room or play in the yard, walk to the park or something that did not involve a lot of money and did not have to be huge. You just got to be around her and that was fun.

    So what gives today when teens won't eat leftovers, would rather wash one name brand item clothing outfit for five days a week then wear hand me downs or bargain store clothes, opt to leave something dirty and stay on punishment for a whole damn summer rather than just do it and get it done. Get in trouble every time they get out of the house, whine because they don't have a cell phone as everyone else does, but they do have a safe home, food, clothes, entertainment, friends, internet, tv, cable, electricity, airconditioning and heat, gas, transportation, a good neighborhood, education, a parent that will work as much as needed to get them extras they may reallly want, hell...a parent that cares! Meanwhile they are going to tell you how bored they are, and won't have friends over because they don't have all the fun things thier friends have to do at their homes, I don't blame them, for basically the other kids will tell them how boring the house is because they are so used to being "plugged in" all the time. And they have not listened any better to the lessons in manners speeches given to them.

    Truly I think I am one of the most easy going parents about, but I do give a damn and I do have reasons for things I say no to for the protection of the kids and for myself. But for some reason because I actually follow through with the "what I concider easy" punishment I delve out for any trouble I have, when other parents give...NONE, I am by my kids friends, the meanest parent about and to be feared. My daughter is mortified because I guess I am the only mom who threatens to call back the boys that call after 11 at night. But when I have to get to work at 7 in the morning, I will be damned if some thug is going to call my daughter at 1 in the morning.

    My son wants his licence. He is 17. I want the garbage taken out on time. It is that simple. Somedays I want to scream it all out...and then not so much talk at all. cuzz I think I have many a more years of it to go. OW Lawwrdy!!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    My daughter is 9 going on 24. I made her a pretty dress for a wedding we went to recently. When she first saw the material for the dress she turned up her nose and said she didn't like it! If I had dared to turn up my nose at my mother I wouldn't have a nose today.

    I made her wear the dress anyway, now she loves it.

    This is only the tip of the iceberg, I could write a book. I have a feeling that with 4 kids all under 14 it's only gonna get worst.

  • moshe
    moshe

    I lived out in the rurals when I grew up, like GaryBuss. We had two bathrooms, but one of them was outside. No TV. My school had one room and one teacher for all 13 kids in eight grades. No little league ball or fishing for me during the summer. It was 3 -4 months of doing farm work for my Dad. I told my kids about this and they didn't listen either. That's what kids do.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug
    If I had dared to turn up my nose at my mother I wouldn't have a nose today.

    That is EXACTLY what I am talking about! AND that is my question I guess...

    Now I think a lot of my moms raising was wrong and I changed a lot that I do and am so that I would not be like her. Was she too strict, was she too much of a tight fisted ruler? Did she not give us any individualism? Did she have to have too much control? Or was she too worried about what others thought?

    OR

    Perhaps she just went a little overboard, because she was a bit off, and she presented it a bit harsh, but she had it right in that we did not have any right to be disrespectful, we did not have a say so, and we had better mind our p's and q's. Perhaps we needed kicked in the ass a couple times a aday or week and the fear of her and perhaps a few others and Jesus put into us. I swear i would have never tried some of the things I see and experience now.

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    I feel for you. We have 5 kids..ranging in age from 7 to 28, and go through the same things.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug

    I feel for you. We have 5 kids..ranging in age from 7 to 28, and go through the same things.

    It gets better I am told. Right? Right??

    lol...

    Jeez though, if you talk openly, you get the dissapointment and upset teen because you talked about it to people, and if you keep it inside, well then you have no clue how to handle things. I sure as hell did not get an example moving out at 14 and having nobody sane in my family that has kids and no close friend, I really am at a loss most all of the time for help. I have had no spouse and well screw me running and heaven forbid if I need advise.

    So I tried to join in the PTA and school things and being non conventional, well that did not really work so well. I did not fit the Betty Crocker mold. I don't fit with the married couples and not being in a church really lowers a lot of the options as far as my kids friends parents here in the Bible belt. At any rate, half the time I just wonder what am I supposed to do to handle these kiddos?

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    It gets better I am told. Right? Right??

    Of course it does. They get married, have kids, and come for the weekend with a shopping list. hehe

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug
    with a shopping list

    just shoot me now...stick a fork in me...I am so done... accckkkk

  • horrible life
    horrible life

    sparkplug, you are so right. Kids now days, are completely different than we were. If you didn't like what was being cooked for dinner, then you didn't eat. No fixing 2 different meals. etc...

    Today, while waiting for the doctor to come and check my patient, the hyperactive 7 year old girl, kept whining, saying she wanted braces. Over and Over and Over. Mom very meekly said, "You don't need braces sweetie" "you can't chew gum, honey" etc.....

    Dr. was seeing an emergency, and it took an extra long time. I suggested we turn on the TV in my room. Mom said kid didn't like TV. But kid could keep jumping out of the chair and running around the room, without shoes, after I told mom and her not to at least 5 times. But mom was also the one who answered when I asked the kid how old she was.

    Hell, I know how old the kid is, I am looking at the chart!! I told the mother 2 times that she was going to be a silent observer. Never worked. Mom kept talking to the kid, even while she had water in her mouth. I put up with the whining, and mom for 45 extra minutes.

    So the whining??? Mom's fault. Not controlling her, Mom's fault.

    Sparkplug, you and I are different than that mom. We have just spoiled our kids, They are good kids, people enjoy being around them. We have given them everything we didn't have, love, time, they are put on a pedestal, they get a ride to school, etc......... They haven't suffered enough. Do we have the strength to make them suffer? Do we have the heart, to make them suffer? Not me.

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    just shoot me now...stick a fork in me...I am so done...

    Nope....you're not getting off that easy. You have to suffer just like the rest of us.

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