Help needed.

by KW13 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  KW13

  I always try and put a happy face on things, i am a happy person in many ways - i have a wife i love and a son on the way who i cant wait to meet but all the time something is wrong.

  I suffer from depression and from time to time it gets me down and when i say down i mean down, maybe it was because i was at a really impressionable age but i became a Jehovahs Witness i found so much comfort in being in a giant bubble - i only appreciated some of the positive aspects of being a witness after leaving. I was told i'd not see the end of high school cos i'd be in a paradise, that i'd be a young boy leading animals etc and the simple fact is, the thought of death itself frightens me.

  I find it hard to fit in the world properly, like a square where a circle should go. I stick out really badly in most situations, people detect always there is something 'different about me' despite my best efforts to hide it.

  My coping mechanisms make me angry, frustrated and tired at the best of times and i just want to complete stage 2 of escape this cult. When i first left i thought i was over it and when i joined this site i was also at a high point, but things have come back down again and i dont ever want to return to this place.

  Advice...? I am considering putting off finding work and seeking a professional councelling service and dealing with one thing at a time...good idea?
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  exwitless

  If I understand right, you're 18, married, and have a new baby. That's a lot to deal with at your age, on top of dealing with the major letdown from the borg. Yes, absolutely you need counseling and probably medication to help you through this. Keep an eye on your wife, too, however. It can be difficult to be the spouse of a depressed soul. She needs your emotional support too. Please take the appropriate steps you need to in order to get through this in one piece. You have a tough road ahead, but you can get through this.
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  GoingGoingGone

  I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say that I think that making a conscious effort to become a better person and cope better in life is a wonderful thing. It says a lot about the kind of person you already are.

  GGG
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  Scully

  I don't know how it works in the UK, but you might find that working helps in more ways than just keeping you busy and getting a regular pay cheque.

  Some employers offer "Employee Assistance Programs" that you can use to self-refer for counselling. Often you can get some initial sessions done within a short time span while you're waiting for referrals to be set up by doctors and such.

  The other thing I've found about work is that it is quite empowering - it allows you a measure of independence. You want to prepare for the future and moving out with the wife and new baby from under MIL's wing - it's harder to accomplish without a job and a salary coming in.

  Depression is an illness that can truly suck the life out of you if you aren't being helped with it. Do make a point to see your doctor and see about counselling and support and maybe even medication to help you through the rough patches.

  Sometimes it's hard to find a good fit in a counsellor, especially since it's hard to find someone who really understands the implications of having been raised in a cult. Make sure you are open with the counsellor about that - the beliefs, even when we know they are wrong, can impact our behaviour and emotions without our even being aware of it. Try to find some exJW folks near where you are - I'm sure there are some who would love to include you in their circle of friends.

  We're all here for you too. You don't have to go through this alone.
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  KW13

  thanks for your swift replies and kind words, i am in town tomorrow so i intend to make a Doctors appointment the moment i've done everything else.

  thank you.
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  Mary

  Hey sweetie......Scully basically said what I was going to say. You've got a lot on your plate right now and I'm not surprised that you're feeling down and overwhelmed. This damn religion can do that to a person. Since you're now married and have a baby on the way, you may want to get a job AND counselling. That might seem like a lot, but it really might make you feel better.

  Keep your chin up hon and let us know how you're feeling.

  Mary
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  KW13

  thanks mary, a job and councelling i would do happily i think but i'd want to start councelling first just to feel i've started something cos at the moment i dont feel ready to take anything else on.
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  Shawn10538

  Happy is he who has found a good therapist. I wouldn't live without mine. Get one soon. You don't want to wait until you are thinking of suicide before you get proactive.
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  Mary

  at the moment i dont feel ready to take anything else on

  Then you do whatever you feel is best for you and Megan. Hey I know! Maybe you just need to pray more and go out in Service more! (okay admit it----that made ja laugh....din it? )
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  Quandry

  KW13