How do I get out?

fancyschmancy28

Hello,

I was baptised as a JW when I was about 12. I dropped out when I was about 19. I just stopped going to meetings and going in service. It is now 20 years later. I am interested in learning about other religions. To do this, I would feel better if I were "out". Should I ask to be disfellowshipped? Should I ask to be disassociated? What is the difference? I have not discussed this with my family (mother, aunts, uncles) who are all ardent JW. I am married to a non-believer.

Either way, is there a set protocol to follow? I would appreciate any input and advice.

Thank you!

Ranchette

Fancy,
If you faded out 20 yrs ago I would be inclined to leave your statis the way it is for now if they aren't harrasing you.
I understand wanting to completly sever your membership but if you are DF'd or DA yourself you risk loosing your JW family and friends.
As witnesses we were taught to treat a Da'd person just like a Df'd one.
They both are viewed as spiritually dead and we are not to associate except for important family business or an emergency.
Do you want to risk this?
Remember it was the witnesses who made a big deal about memberships.
God is suposed to know hearts and I think 20 years away shows him how you feel about being a witness.
Just my thoughts though.

If it were to be found out that you even visit a church you could be imediatly DA'd for interfaith.
Be careful.
Ranchette

dungbeetle

((((fancyschmancy28))))

May I respectfully recomend clicking on the 'freeminds' link on the bottom of the page. There is a wealth of information contained on Randy's site that you can read at your own pace and at your own convenience.

The other links next to 'freeminds' are also fabulous for info.

welcome to the board and stick around...it's like a roller coaster in here.

Dungbeetle...so much dung, so little time...

OUTLAW

Listen to Ranchette.

fancyschmancy28

Ranchette, thank you for the input. You brought up points I did not even think of. My family cutting me off, would be very likely...it has been so long since I was at a meeting, I don't remember the "ins and outs". I am not going to do anything. I am going to let sleeping dogs lay. I am in a different state than my family and it would serve no purpose to deal with locals. I am not planning on joining another organization, I just thought they might be more friendly to me if I were really "out." Thanks again for the clear-headed advice.

Dungbeetle-I have went on that web link. Very interesting. I have much more to read. Thank you for pointing it out.

Thanks to all for the advice!

Esmeralda

Pleased to meet you, Fancy. Welcome aboard.

I have not discussed this with my family (mother, aunts, uncles) who are all ardent JW. I am married to a non-believer

It's a blessing that you're not married to a JW, on top of all the other family you have in.

I didn't have the choice to fade away, but if I had, I would have taken it. There isn't any reason that you have to take any action; you already are out! Just keep going forward from here.

If you want to go to another church, go! There is no reason you can't, except in your own mind. The only thing holding you back is you. Don't paint yourself into a corner by thinking that you have to make a statement publicly to go on with your life. This is not a black and white situation.

If it is that important to you to make that public statement, be fully prepared for the reaction your family will have. I'd recommend that you read online experiences about shunning before you make the decision.

Keep talking about what you're going through though. It will help.

I wish you happiness, whatever you decide.

all the best
Es

ashitaka

aye, listen to Ranchette

mustang

I've got about the same "stats" or "numbers" as you do on the history.

Don't 'make it official'; don't give them satisfaction, by playing their game.

To paraphrase Ranchette, if you haven't been busted, let sleeping dogs lie.

Mustang

GentlyFeral

I just thought they might be more friendly to me if I were really "out."

Who might be more friendly? Other churches? You'll find that any church worth attending won't care what religious brand name you carry now. If they make a big fuss about it, they probably have a lot of flaws in common with the JW's.

Does anybody remember the URL for the "Belief-O-Matic" quiz?

Gently Feral

funkyderek

Yes fancy, listen to Ranchette, except where she says:

If it were to be found out that you even visit a church you could be imediatly DA'd for interfaith.
Be careful.

Don't be careful, or secretive or apologetic. Live your life the way you see fit, and if they have a problem with that, fuck them. No point going out of your way to antagonise them, but don't let them make the rules.

GentlyFeral, `the "Belief-o-matic" quiz can be found at http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

--
Those who can induce you to believe absurdities can induce you to commit attrocities - Voltaire

How do I get out?

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