dinner time guilt (page 2)

rebel8

All I can tell you is I was raised by "you eat whatever I give you 'til it's gone" parents, and it caused a gigantic amount of tension, shouting, "spanking", etc. Oh the stories I could tell about these power struggles.....you wouldn't believe how nightmarish it was, just over food.

I was happy eating granola, salads, baked chicken, peanut butter...as long as it's healthy I don't see the reason to force kids to eat stuff they hate. It just teaches them how to be stubborn.

Not all kids "will eat when they're hungry". I went to the point of fainting several times because the concept of eating stuff that I thought was gross (sausage casing is intestines-ewwww!) was much worse than passing out or being exhausted.

Their taste buds will mature soon enough and they will introduce themselves to a variety of foods. Make them taste a little bite of new foods every so often, then give them the carrot sticks and chicken.

IMO

Miss Bliss

Kids nowadays have to many options and I feel parents only feed that (no pun intended) by allowing that bahavoir to go on. That being said my baby is 16 months and is mostly a garbage disposal and will eat anything including really spicy foods and sushi. I do have nanny experience though and I never put up with all the varying requests of likes and dislikes I would make 2 different things for 6 kids and let them decide which one they wanted. Also having a child that really hates lets say carrots seems fine to me however your family tastes seem to be very demanding. How about if you tell your kids that they can choose 1 or 2 items that they really hate and take that into consideration when you cook. When I say 1 or 2 items that can't mean vegetables as a whole but maybe 1 vegetable they really hate and something esle and then your husband can just slap together everything you make and put it between to pieces of bread...Har har....I think it is really important to instill good and flexible eating habits in children because they will carry that with them forever and are most likely to be healthly adult eaters. You can always have the cheese eater add cheese to his/her own portion etc....Good luck with the mealtimes and don't take to much crap!

~Mad Love~ Miss Bliss

Sassy

well I was pretty spoiled growing up.. if I didn't like something.. my mom made me something else.. (not that I pulled that often.. mostly only for breakfast.. I was really picky about what cereals, etc I would eat)

so I guess I've felt like it is my turn when my kids were growing up.. I tried to make them all happy.. but I did it one meal at a time. I tried to find things most everyone was ok with..

Even now, I try to make things both my son and I like.. now that it is just the two of us. if he won't be home, I'll make something I happen to really like that he is less crazy about.

mrsjones5

You could always do what my wife does: not cook at all.

If I don't cook nobody eats. My hubby is not a cook and the kids are too young to pull off cooking a whole dinner. My mother stopped cooking every night when all of her kids graduated high school, I totally understand that. Sometimes I don't even want to think about cooking dinner but then I get off my ass and do it...cuz I'm a mom and I care that my family eats...can't wait til they all finish high school

deaconbluez

If I don't cook nobody eats. My hubby is not a cook and the kids are too young to pull off cooking a whole dinner. My mother stopped cooking every night when all of her kids graduated high school, I totally understand that. Sometimes I don't even want to think about cooking dinner but then I get off my ass and do it...cuz I'm a mom and I care that my family eats...can't wait til they all finish high school

The new generation of women that now have families (women in their 20's) are nothing like you, my friend. I'm sorry to say it, but younger women these days were raised by parents that spoiled them and gave them anything and everything. So when it comes time for a family of their own, it is only natural for them to gravitate toward a man that will take care of them and provide everything for them. I firmly believe that things such as this are part of the reason that the U.S. has seen a huge increase in divorces over the last 20 years.

Hortensia

I remember the torture of being made to sit at the table until I ate what was in front of me - it never worked. I'd wind up being spanked and sent to bed hungry, giant contest of wills would ensue and eventually my mother would give up until it all started again. Why force kids to eat? But, saying that this is all there is, you can eat it or not as you please, is a better option, I think. Then if they are hungry enough, they'll eat. But to make that work, you can't allow snacking, and it seems to me you'd have to be watching your kids all the time!

this reminds me of a fantasy of mine - I'd love to teach little boys how to make bread. Partly because it's fun and tastes good and isn't hard, but also because they'd have to learn some stuff about sanitation and safety and how cooking can be fun. Then maybe they would be better teenagers, husbands and fathers - contribute to the process of putting dinner on the table rather than just showing up expecting to be fed.

OUTLAW

Black Swan..Does your family like gravy..People will put gravy over things they would never normally eat and not leave a bite of food on their plate..You can buy excellent gravy mixs in the stores now a days or make your own.....Secrets from a Diabolical single Dad!!..LOL!!...OUTLAW

Dismembered

Greetings BlackSwan,

Tell 'em it's your way or the highway, or, are you running a restaurant there? I'd tell them in no uncertain terms to fend for themselves.

Great illustration IP - SEC

Dismembered

BlackSwan of Memphis

wow...

yeah, I was raised similarly. This is what I remember. Sitting at a table with a bowl of my mom's chicken soup which nauseated me. Taking bites of liver and running off to the bathroom to spit it out.

When your kids tell you they don't like something you just make them eat it? Why? Would you do that to yourself? Likely not. Everyone has different tastes and likes and dislikes. Yes it is incredibly difficult to find foods for kids to eat.

But that's what makes us who we are. Forcing kids to eat food they don't like just because our parents did it, does not mean that it's right.

I'm not going to force my kids to eat food just because I don't want to put the effort out to find food they do like. I'm really surprised by the response.

This is what I'm hearing:

It was good enough for me, it's good enough for them.

Ok. That works for others, but I'm not doing that to my kids.

Outlaw: You read my mind sir!

journey-on

Black Swan

Then how are they ever going to learn what's good for them, because, let's face it, most stuff that's good for you doesn't taste good when you're a kid? You have to develop a taste for wholesome foods, and IMO it's a parent's responsibility, especially the mother, to make sure her children eat right so they can grow healthy brains and bodies. Just my opinion. No offense meant.

dinner time guilt

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