How many have wives who think it's the truth?

drew sagan

The idea for this thread was sparked by seeing that a lot of guys thought that the latest KM article would be a great talking point.

There are a number of JWD poster who have lived through the hell of having a wife who thinks it is the truth. I am happy to say that I have been through it and survived.

I can tell that many of you guys are in need of some good solid advice on how to deal with your mates.

For over two years I struggled with what to do when it came to my wife. At a few points I actually almost gave up all hope. There are so many things I have never shared with the JWD community regarding this and I wanted to know if those of you who are going through this would be interested in me getting as much of it as I can down in writing for you to read and digest.

It would take quite a while to compile, but if you guys think it would be worth it let me know.

-Drew

under_believer

My situation is somewhat ambiguous. My wife is still a faithful JW, goes to the meetings and out in service, etc., but the other day when I was talking to her a funny thing happened.

I was telling her I hated the exclusionary language Witnesses use--"worldly," "the Truth," and so on. She told me, to my astonishment, that she doesn't like to call it "the Truth" and doesn't like it when other people do either, because while she thinks they probably have God's blessing they obviously have not always had the whole truth. It kind of boggled my mind, but I was skeptical it would stick.

A couple of weeks later she was talking about someone who was "coming into the Truth." What she actually said was "so and so might come into the Tr-- I mean become one of Jehovah's Witnesses."

This made me so happy. It means that some of the mental shackles are coming off, even if she's still a Witness. If she's not calling it "the Truth" anymore, what could be next? Maybe she'll stop saying "worldly." I have decided that gently adjusting the language they use might be one of the most effective methods of helping someone break free.

By all means, Drew, please share. I can offer nothing but my gratitude, of course, but like so many other posters here I am a fading man with an unbelieving wife and any advice has the potential to be helpful.

Open mind

Abstotutely!!!

You've already helped me out a great deal Drew, but I'm always looking for additional perspectives, stories, strategies, etc.

My wife thinks it's da troof except for a couple things. The "no glass clinking" QFR seemed ridiculous to her. How she's comfortable saying that is a mystery to me.

The pendulum swinging against "higher education" is also something she opposes.

But, she wants to make sure we don't do anything that will make the kids think it's not "THE TRUTH".

I think her primary motivators are the social rewards of staying in and perhaps the fear of being destroyed by our ever-loving God.

Whatever you're willing to put down on electronic paper I'd love to read.

Thanks in advance,

Open Mind

sir82

My wife is hanging by a thread.

That thread is, "Jehovah has to have an organization on the earth, right? If not JWs, then who?"

She will readily agree that there are major problems (child abuse, unjust D-Fings, lack of love)...in some cases I think she is more upset about these things than I am!

But it always comes back to "Jehovah has to have an organization on the earth, right? If not JWs, then who?"

I hesitate to cut that thread. Her health is delicate, to put it mildly, and to lose what little support system she has...

Plus, the JWs literally rescued her from a life of debauchery. If they did not study with her when they did (as a teen), she would likely be a drug-addled alcoholic drifter with numerous out-of-wedlock children, if even still alive at this point. She feels a debt of gratitude towards them (as do I...I married her after all ). She would feel disloyal to turn her back on them...at least at this point in time. That of course may change.

I am treading carefully....I want her to be the one to cut her own thread, and be there for he when she falls.

startingover

Go for it!

When confronted with obvious problems with the organization, my wife plays the "but the basics are right" card. She doesn't realize she is still "captive of a concept" and that those basic things she refers to are flawed as well.

My wife is a social butterfly, and I am pretty much of a loner. That being the case, I am very content without all the social contact, but she would not be. I often times think it better to just let her have her little social club, but then I realize she would give her life for it if it came to that. So any little subtle ways to help her excape the mind control would be appreciated.

I quit!

Go for it Drew. I gave up talking about religion to my wife years ago but I'm always willing to learn tips from people on this board in case there is ever an opening where we could discuss it again. I'm still hoping for a good out come.

Finally-Free

I told my wife that the watchtower was a pedophile protecting cult that could only find new converts among uneducated idiots.

It didn't go over very well.

W

erandir

So far, my wife is still in the "truth." She's making progress away from it such as:

The "no glass clinking" QFR seemed ridiculous to her.

She happily clinks glasses with me anytime.

Anywho, I'd love to hear what you have to share! Thanks!

NewYork44M

My hopefully soon to be ex-wife is a diehard witness. Not that she actually understands what she believes, but she does believe. From her perspective everything is black and white. Watchtower = God. Anything said against the Watchtower is against God, including me. When I told her I no longer believed in the wt circa 1994, she treated me as dead. It took me another 10 years to finially say I had enough. But no one can say I did not try.

I could NEVER get her away from the wt=god concept and finially just gave up trying. The final straw was when she sent a "brooklyn" elder to me to help me see the light. That was the most stressful day of my life. If I had a gun that day I would have shot him and myself afterwards. I finally had to acknowledged that I have no marriage. From that moment on I made plans to get my own life away from her.

When I was with her I fighting her about the "truth" I became a very heavy drinker. As soon as I left my drinking dropped off considerably. I am now at the point that I am completely sober.

I was always considered a "lover of money" because I had a good job, a career, and an education. While she dispised that, she is trying to get every penny from me through a long and painful divorce.

Sorry to dump this on a hopefully positive thread, but I am having a bad day.

drew sagan

Sorry to dump this on a hopefully positive thread, but I am having a bad day.

Not at all. I wanted to hear from everybody in this situation and that includes you as well.

I'm sure things we get better for ya!

How many have wives who think it's the truth?

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