Should DF'd people talk to other DF'd people??? YOU be the judge...

by slmdf 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • slmdf
    slmdf

    Ok all... I was in a store looking for bedroom furniture and in walks this former elder with his new woman - they too are shopping for bedroom furniture. He got DF'd like 5 years ago so he has no idea I'm DF'd.

    Recently, I've been thinking about how, when I got DF'd, I would sit in the parking lot of the KH waiting for the meeting to start, and so would other DF'd people. I thought to myself, why are we afraid to talk to one another. We should start our own support group. (Of course, now we know how wrong forming independant groups is... ha ha ha)... Anyway... I thought it was a good demonstration of how JW thinking infiltrates our minds... even when they kick us out, we still follow their rules.

    So... I thought to myself, "I'm going to say Hi to this guy" cause he was a very nice "brother". So, as to not interrupt their shopping (they were into a discussion with a sales person) and for discretion, I decided to jot a quick note that said, "Hey (name), I'm no longer a JW. I wanted to say hello. Feel free to call me. (###) ###-####. So, I hand it to him and he looks shocked that I'm talking to him. I go out to my car and out he comes and waves me down.

    I roll down the window and he says, "I didn't know you were DF'd... are you going back?" I said, "No.. it doesn't look that way. It's only been since Feb., but I don't think so. How about you?" He says, "Yes, I am. I'm going to meetings. Not as many as I should, but I'm trying. But, I guess we'll see you later then." I said, "Ok. You take care."

    His tone and the look on his face was just as if I had been scolded by an elder. I wanted to puke and punch his lights out for being so condescending. So... I don't know if I should open myself up to anyone I see that's DF'd or not. No one deserves to go through that kind of "disgrace" over and over again. It's certainly not Christian, nor is it loving.

    What do you all think? Any advice? Any similar stories?

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Every former JW I have met is happy to be one and glad to talk. You might meet jerks or rude folks, but most of us here used to be JWs and we are generally a decent sort. He was one obnoxious person. Talk to whomever you wish! Apparently he doesn't care to talk to you, so no need to pursue it, I guess. Don't assume you will have bad experiences. I have had a few very positive ones.

  • Hermano
    Hermano

    I was disfellowshipped at one point. And I worked my ass off to get reinstated. I still beleived all the lies. Just because one is disfellowshipped doesn't mean one has woken up. I don't think you should give up on all disfellowshipped ones, but just feel em out a bit to see where they stand.

    And I have to say, at one point while I was disfellowshipped I was more brainwashed than most witnesses in good standing.

  • monophonic
    monophonic

    i think you did the right thing and if he response seemed judgemental, no reason to invite him into your life.

    but, i'd wouldn't let this encounter discourage you from saying hi to others who are df'ed who you might think are cool....that would be letting him make the choice for you b/c of his actions.

    my philosophy is, stay open, but if i sniff psychoness or a gut feeling about someone, i cut them off fast. it has worked well over the years....and whenever i don't listen to my gut about someone, it usually turns out my gut was right all along.

  • Stealth453
    Stealth453

    I talk to anyone I want to, if they don't want to talk to me, then that is their problem.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Your both disfellowshipped..He`s going back..Your not..He`s one step above you,on the WBT$ staircase of shit..He just wanted to let you know that..LOL!!.....It`s not something to be angry about,although I realize why you would be at the moment.....The guy is a moron and he dosen`t know it..Now thats funny!!..LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • Mrs. Peck
    Mrs. Peck

    Sure, why not. 1 disfellowshipped person + 1 disfellowshipped person=hey, don't they cancel each other out??

  • Mrs. Peck
    Mrs. Peck

    Oh wait, that is a positive and a negative....nevermind..............

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Welcome new poster Mrs. Peck!

    Do tell us about yourself sometime (if you are able to).

  • slmdf
    slmdf

    I appreciate the comments. I'm really not mad... more shocked than anything. I would think anyone going through being disfellowshipped would have some kind of common ground to discuss.

    It's so incredibly difficult for me to even remember how I could think and feel so judgemental now that I'm out. It's friggin CRAZY!!!

    I appreciate what you have said... I have to be careful not to look to anyone else for my self worth, or for approval. I'm a good person - so I'll talk to who I want. If they want to be friends... great. If not... that's fine too.

    I just love all of you. We don't always agree on everything, but we're always open to discussion. I have found great comfort being among friends here. Thank you for that!!!

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