Crumpet, in my experience, childhood was just one long battle to keep me away from girls.
How Much and for How Long Did You Love Being In The 'Truth'?
by sweet pea 22 Replies latest jw experiences
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brinjen
My experience is very similar to the others who were also raised in it. I never felt good enough. Just before my mother returned to her home town and the borg, a brother made an announcement from the platform at the kingdumb hall, informing everyone she was coming back and to treat her a bit different as she was a little, well, retarded.
I remember my mother telling me this and how when she was a child, several of the dubs were always getting social workers and the like (before they got 'that' new light) to visit her at school to assess her 'mental retardation'. Funny though, they could never find anything abnormal aside from her I.Q. being slightly higher than the average. But anyway, she was labelled a 'retard' and being her daugher I must have been as well. That set the scene for both of us in regards to our treatment from the congregation.
When I was 19, I was in the same "Re-Entry To Education" course as another sister in my congregation. Her mother rang me a few weeks into it and said (paraphrasing here) "I never knew you were smart!" I felt 2 inches tall, it was nice of her to acknowledge I actually had a brain, but why did she think I didn't in the first place?
Hated the meetings, though yes, I too always prepared for them. Hated field service, though I aux pioneered whenever I could. I cannot recall one instance when I actually loved being in the truth. I wished I never heard of it.
Sooo glad I'm away from all that with real friends who accept me for who I am!
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Hortensia
Raised in the org., never happy. Didn't fit in, didn't learn social skills, not popular, also poorer than dirt so we couldn't participate in things other kids did. Bored to death by meetings, I mean boooooored, but I studied and answered and was a good little JW. Only recognition I could get. Hated it, don't miss it at all.
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gaiagirl
I wasn't raised in the org, but began attending when young. At first, I looked forward to meetings, but never enjoyed field service. Gradually meetings became repetitive, and I realized that what was being taught was neither what I believed nor even in agreement with history or science. I was in and active for roughly 15 years, then began to fade.
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bluebell
I did enjoy myself at times, not as a JW but in the social side of things, didn't last long. I wasn't popular or spiritual enough (I tried but never managed to be good association) but I made some friends who were very spiritual and considered not spiritual. You know the ones, they have jobs, pioneer, study, love God but they are open about going out and enjoying themselves and are therefore branded bad, even though all the goodies do worse and just don't tell anyone what they get up to. But I was too depressed to enjoy it too much, I only enjoyed myself when I worked myself into a high but I always knew I had to pay for it by having lows. After admitting to being abused as a child when I was 21 I waited for help and didn't get any, got more and more depressed and then realised I could be happier if I wasn't a witness and started to help myself.
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ex-nj-jw
Hey sweetpea,
I was raised from an infant to age 18 in the BORG, I hated every minute, never pioneered and only went to meetings, d2d and conventions because I had not other choice!
I'm glad I left when I was young, and although I had to provide for myself and an infant it was worth it!
nj
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freeme
how much: 8 of 10
how long: around 12 years... when counted from the first time i was old enough to actually believe it (its 12 to me. before i think it was more following my parents, until i found out that i need to choose myself)
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mentalclearness
i was born in the organization. got baptized at 13 like all my friends..wish i could kill the sister who asked me "why aren't you baptized yet?"...because it didn't really come from me...anyways was a good witness until 15 when i got involved with all the "nice" pot smoking, partying, sneaking out of your house kids in the hall while avoiding the "evil" worldly people... well after double lifing through my teenage years...(i didn't comment..barely went out in service, always was late, left early,) but I went to all the weddings, picnics, etc...anyways finally when i moved out i became inactive for a couple of years and then made the mistake of returning after a couple of years...well i tried to convince myself it was the truth for the past 10 years..and guess what??? still a doubting thomas..always loathed preaching..especially when we would talk about 144,000 or armageddon. just sounded so hokey...tried to just preach about practical matters...you know..values, etc i haven't had the time to look up the scandals, the lies, etc...i just can't believe that God is blessing or involved in an organization that cares more about how much time you are knocking doors to actually how much time is dedicated to caring about people. If one of the signs of the christian congregation is to have love amongst yourselves than definitely the jw's are not it...I've seen so many people treated so badly for being reproved or considered bad association because of the stupidest things. it didn't happen to me although i always was on the fringes...but i had a famous jw name and i always was nice to everyone..trying to be christianly..giving stuff away to people who needed it..trying to give practical advice to people. having baby showers in my house for sisters who had gotten in trouble and gotten pregnant...i really miss some friends who accepted me for who i was..i always made sarcastic comments and tried to be myself..often complaining about long assemblies and crazy talks from the platform...but i'm glad to be out..all in all 28 years of my 31 years of life...i don't consider them all a waste. but i'm happy to have the chance to move ahead and move on........
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mentalclearness
can someone teach me how to format????? please!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hermano
I am surprised by how many were raised in the truth and hated it.
I liked it at times. I was born in the truth. Came from a good family. Dad was the PO, older siblings were Elders, MS, Pioneers, etc.. I too pionereed. But I could never do good for too long. I always ended up messing up. I tried regular pioneering on more than one ocassion and I always ended up tired and depressed. I could never do enough, and I always felt like I wasn't good enough, and like I was not worthy.
Then I started hating God cause he required WAY TOO MUCH. And I l realized I wasn't happy with all his requirements now, I probably would not be happy in paradise living under that regime. But I still thought it was the Truth and it was me that was messed up. I browsed the evil internet a bit, which led me to "apostate" sites. I found out about the NGO scandal, and the Mexico/Malawi scandal, etc. That opened my eyes a bit. Then I read Crisis of Conciousness and that sealed the deal. That's when I realized what a big scam it was.