Shepherding Calls

by R.F. 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  R.F.

  One thing that I really enjoyed taking part in was shepherding the flock. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to really encourage others and help play a part in strengthening them.

  However.....

  I started to despise giving shepherding calls. The elders that I went with seemed to suck out any possible joy that both parties could receive from the visits. While I was ready and prepared to do what I can to offer encouragement and assistance, the elders seemed to make it worse for them by guilt-tripping. The flock never did enough. Their faults always became the dominant point of conversation. It was always obvious that ones on the receiving end were never really built up after the visits. I'm not saying at all that all elders are this way, but just the ones i've dealt with locally.

  I found it quite funny how difficult it was when it came to me trying to schedule time with those receiving the shepherding. That shows just how those on the receiving end despise them as well. In many cases I just ended up giving up in scheduling the visits and just left them alone.

  So you former Elders and Ministerial Servants....did you enjoy doing the shepherding calls? Those of on the receiving end.....did you enjoy the visits yourselves?

  R.F.
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  bluebell

  I actually ASKED for shepherding calls because I was so depressed and didn't get them. In the end when I did, they were disappointing, no helpful scriptures. In one, towards the end when I had given up on getting much help, they didn't even pray, let alone open up the bible. When I stopped meetings altogether, an elder called round with a MS, I couldn't believe it, as most visits centered around how I was dealing with being sexually abused as a child and I didn't think it was appropriate to bring a MS who was younger than me and who didn't know (I hope) about my history. The meeting lasted about 10 mins if that, I said I wasn't going anymore, no scriptures were read and just a quick prayer. No-one has ever called since. I'm lucky, I was too much trouble so they can't be bothered to hound me, they prefer to have my father in their congregations rather than the person he abused.
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  Ténébreux

  On the receiving end... I only once received a visit from a couple of elders who said it was a "shepherding call". I dont't recall being particularly encouraged by it, I got the impression they were there just to size me up ("Do we keep bothering with this clown or not?" sort of thing)
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  freetosee

  Yes, it really depends upon the manner of the elder and their relationship to the person being visited. The elders who enjoyed the authority (most do) loved to pour guilt onto the member and emphasised the they will be checking on them. I was embarrassed when elders took loads of wt volumes and lead-out different articles in order to impress the member and believe it will be encouraging. fts
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  NewYork44M

  I was part of a similar experience. I accompanied another elder on a shepherding call with a family that was quite irregular to the meetings.

  The elder became very coercive in his tactics to infilct guilt to get these people back. I was very unconfortable with these tactics. Several times during the conversation I, unsuccessfully attempted to intervene to attempt to change the tone of the conversation.

  As a general rule, the calls were used to keep the flock in line, not to really address real problems.
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  exwitless

  Shepherding calls always make me think of having an annual employment review at a place you hate working for. They are exactly like the others said: an opportunity to lay all your "faults" out on the table and over-analyze them. First of all, we didn't get that many of them (thank heavens). But they usually weren't encouraging. Any problem we would bring up would be shot down with some over-simplified solution; there, all better, right?

  One of the first times I remember realizing that the elders weren't as perfect as they seemed was at a circuit assembly. There was a talk about enjoying the benefits of shepherding calls. They decided to interview 2 elders from our congregation, as examples of exemplary shepherders. The elders stood up there and said how they make a strong effort to make shepherding calls on every person in the congregation at least once per year; they went on about how encouraging this has been, blah, blah, blah... That was an outright LIE!! At the time, we had been in the borg for several years, and maybe had one shepherding call. One. That's it.

  If the CO picked them to be interviewed, then either he was in on the lie, and/or the elders falsified documents to look good for the CO's visit (which is highly likely.)
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  stillajwexelder

  Yes I quite enjoyed shepherding
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  keyser soze

  The only shepherding calls I ever got were during the CO's visit, or right before it. I didn't enjoy them because I never felt like love was the motivating factor behind them.
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  R.F.

  Interesting viewpoints.

  NewYork44M said...

  The elder became very coercive in his tactics to infilct guilt to get these people back. I was very unconfortable with these tactics. Several times during the conversation I, unsuccessfully attempted to intervene to attempt to change the tone of the conversation.

  That's exactly how I felt. That's why I, over time, spoke less and less at these visits.
• 

  NewYork44M

  In the congregation where I was an elder we met every month to go on shepherding calls.

  A controversy arose amoung the elders related to whether or not you could count time for a shepherding call. I was with the PO who insisted that you could count time but only if there was an unbaptized person present when we meet.

  So, we go to this family. Mom and Dad were waiting for us. The PO asked where the kids are. They replied that they are in bed. They thought that sending the kids to bed early would give them more time to talk to us. They may have had things they wanted to talk to us about without the kids around.

  The PO says: "Go wake up the children, they need to be here." They wake up the kids, and for the next hour and a half the PO goes on an on about some stupid point. It was like a talk that had no beginning or end. The whole time the kids sat there in silence not knowing what the hell was going on. Most of the kids were half asleep.

  As we were walking back to the care, the PO told me to be sure to count your time because there were unbaptized kids there.