My hubby just laid down some rules to my elder dad (page 2)

OnTheWayOut

You do know how JW's are. He might be able to justify speaking to you as a way
to recruit the kids. WATCH OUT if he agrees.

You might need to debrief the kids after a visit to see if he violated any other requests
by taking them to the KH or telling them things about Jehovah and how their parents
would be destroyed unless we keep this a secret.

If it were me, I would use this as an excuse for SUPERVISED visitation.
"Dad, the kids and I would love to go out to lunch. They don't go without me."
That might be harsh, but he thinks he is fighting a theocratic war for their everlasting
lives so harsh might be correct.

Great job to the husband.

sass_my_frass

HOORAY!!! Way to go Mike! It really needed saying.

You four are such a precious little family. I'm glad that he's not going to take that crap anymore. I've only just realised that's what I'm getting Ben to do - on the Perth trip we just got back from I got him to sms the siblings to say we're in town and would they like to meet him. From now on if I have anything to say to them (I don't) I'll just tell them myself. Playing by their rules helps them believe they're right. I'm not going to tolerate abnormal weird behaviour anymore. I'd edit the rules to say that you reserve the right to change them anytime. And that they never get to see the kids unless one or both of you or Mike are there to make sure they don't put them through anything weird. Don't kid yourself about the games they think they can get away with.

It's great that Mike has drawn the line - make sure you back him up on it! If they want to see your gorgeous kids they have to behave like normal people and be kind to you, their mother. Letting them disrespect you is sending the kids a bad message. Make sure the kids know that you're a family, and you all stick up for each other. If somebody is being mean to one of you, they have to take you all on!

I miss you guys!

free2think

Wow, thats really good. You must be so proud of your hubby.

The Lone Ranger

Your lucky to have a hubby who understand and supports you. keep us informed, i can see myslef doing the same thing one day. making a stand !!!

lisavegas420

Way to go Mike...Es, give him a hug from all of us.

lisa

AnnOMaly

and 2. If you want to see your grandkids you need to speak to your daughter, you can msg her phone or even speak to her.
Mike said he was sick of being the go between and that my dad wasnt setting a good example for his grandkids by ignoring me and not speaking to me,

I don't understand, Es. This would come under the category of "some family matters requiring contact" (km 8/02, 4). Your dad shouldn't have a problem speaking to you to arrange to see the grandkids. He might even stretch to ask after your health and welfare on occasion, if he felt like living dangerously that day.

Anyway, it's ridiculous. And your hubby was quite right putting his foot down.

Mrs Smith

It feels great when our men stand up for us doesn't it. Well done Mike!!

blondie

There are some words in psychology that describe what it is to use another person as a go-between to do your talking for you and to do those things re people you should be doing: enmeshment or triangulation. Letting people use you like this is dangerous psychologically. Your husband was right not to continue to let his in-laws use him as a tool to get to their grandkids or you.

I would never let my children alone with their grandparents. Of course, my dad was a pedophile but do we see a similar danger that grandparents will attempt to indoctrinate their grandchildren...they know that the party line that minor children of nonjws or exjws, are going to die with their parents at Armageddon. They only way they can "save" them is to get them to become baptized jws or at least "moving towards" baptism to be "saved."

Good for him to lay it on the line. What about if they are willing to talk to him but not you....should he continue the contact? I'd be furious if my family called my husband but ignored me. I'd be talking to my hubbie about it. But that's me. Neither one of us talk to them any more. Reverse dfing.

It's amazing how many ways our families can find to abuse us.

Blondie

Anti-Christ

Good job!!!

freedomloverr

ROCK ON MIKE!!

that was AWESOME!!

My hubby just laid down some rules to my elder dad

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