During our last fight, I told him that he believes because he has to, that it was the only thing in his f***ed up childhood that was halfway stable. Then I said something like, "It's really got a stranglehold on you, doesn't it?" I'm so nasty. But I think it's truthful, so I could't resist. Oh, most of his family is out. There is only one of his family members that I can talk to about this, and that's only occasionally. He has lived in this area all his life, so he sees these people around all the time. He really wants to move away. We've talked about running away and starting over somewhere, but not in the JW context. My half-baked theory is that he married me because he wants me to lead him out, well, part of the reason. He thinks I'm smarter than he is and long before we got married, I made it clear I would never, under any circumstances, become a Stepford wife. I got accused of reading "apostate stuff," like I don't have enough of a brain to figure things out or comprehend anything the Bible says. Aaargh!
Let's welcome Rebelwife!
by changeling 39 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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RebelWife
As for being mean, how's this? During one fight, I told him that it was because of him that I became a Christian. I started reading the Bible because of him, and now I get it. Okay. He's almost home, so I have to disappear. Anyway, thank you all for the welcome and for just being here.
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exwitless
Rebelwife - have you thought about buying and reading some books that might get him thinking? I would specifically recommend Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. Ray was a member of the Governing Body of the witnesses back in the 70's. He's no longer a JW, and he wrote a captivating expose about the inner workings of the witnesses. If you read it, it would help you to understand how deep the witness mind control goes. Leave it laying around, maybe your husband will read it too. It's worth a shot.
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LeslieV
Welcome and thanks for sharing your story with us. It is very hard for most of us to let go of the mindset. You realize that when you have been raised in a cult, you are programmed to believe. It takes along time to get brainwashed, so it will take time for his brain to be washed clean of its influence. Thank goodness he has a intelligent stable wife. We are here for you.
Leslie
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RebelWife
Exwitless -- Good idea, but he absolutely would not read Crisis of Conscience. I wish Barbara Anderson's CD were smaller so I could get it in book form. I might be able to get him to take a peek at that. Maybe. He's really stuck. Leslie -- yes, extremely hard. I think he would feel like his whole world were crumbling. And when someone has a crazy childhood, the cult, being as rigid as it is, provides a much-needed feeling of stability and order. It's going to take a long time for him. And one of the things I love about him is his loyalty.
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RebelWife
I also want to say THANK YOU to everybody on here. I have learned so much from y'all, and it's been a huge comfort to me to realize that I'm not alone. Horribly sad, but still comforting. I know y'all know what I mean.
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Highlander
I think GaryBuss would refer to this guy as a 'walkaway believer'
Though he left the dubs(for now) he's still a true believer. How scary is that?
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RebelWife
Just a tad scary, especially in light of the fact that if I die before Armageddon, I'll still have a chance. I know he'd want that for me, even if he doesn't have it.
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Highlander
if I die before Armageddon, I'll still have a chance. I know he'd want that for me,
That attitude combined with a mental illness can make for a very scary recipe.
This is one thing I find very concerning about j-dubs or any similiar group. They've already got the pieces in place just waiting for some nutcase to take things one step further and do a murder/suicide because they think it's the only way they can survive armageddon.
cults suck!
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PEC
Welcome to JWD, Rebelwife.
Philip