by DeusMauzzim 32 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Bluesbreaker
Thanks for the kind offer, but I don't live in the States. I meant university in general (or well, the university I attend in my country, but can't disclose that :P)
Once again thanks! University is indeed great for social life! I'm just having too much free time at the moment, and then my mind tends to overheat with aimless thinking
- Deus Mauzzim
It's just so ridiculous to have the feeling that you're life is over at 19... but I can't help it.. help me!
I'm glad you're getting out...about the same time I was getting in. I started pioneering in '72, I was 18, in the "Last Days" before Armeggedon in '75. I went on to marry a "good Witness girl", have, raise and train "good Witness kids" and waste 35 years believing a lie. When I finally started independent thinking...I lost my uber-dub wife and kids, because I was "spritually dangerous". My "good JW" kids...still shun me.
That's their loss and I hope they realize it sooner than the 35 years it took me.
How do you deal with this feeling of emptiness?
Fill it with the very people the WTS says to stay away from: "Worldly People". They, as a whole, are pretty good people...not the horrible evil majority JW's think they are. I married one and despite the lingering pain from losing my own children and JW relatives...I am very happy...and I'm not wasting the rest of my life.
I think you'll be OK. I'm more than a little jealous of you being 'out' at 19. Good for you !
Rabbit
For me:
Took a vacation
Found a job I like
Discovered I wanted to go back to college...did that
I push myself to learn something new every day
I love without fear
Finally:
Don't try to find something to fill the emptiness, accept the feeling, observe it, and move on. Let life unfold before you. It's hard to do that as a dub. Have no expectations.
If you are a reader, these books were very helpful for me:
You will have to get over the JW mind conditioning that is what creates the problems, the most important thing to do is to reconnect with the world and create a social life in the world where the JW conditioning sees nothing worthwhile. Social contact is what makes us tick.
At 19 life is just beginning for you, most of it still lies ahead.
I've never had that emptiness.....well everybody tells me I'm full of it
DeusMauzzim,
Well, I don't call it emptiness. I call it futility, which is a kind of helplessness. It's not the same thing at all, to my way of thinking.
It comes and goes, I'm sure you understand. One day I'm over the top with happiness and the other day I'm just so sad...
I believe this is the kind of thing the Buddhists mean when they say, "You are not your thoughts": you are so much more than this moment of pain. When you are in pain, remember that.
Sometimes you simply have to respect your sorrow, and let it play out – without allowing it to dictate what your perceptions mean.
Other times, it's healthier to contradict your sorrows – and the most convincing way is to force it to explain itself: as each depressing idea articulates itself, ask: "Why?" For instance:
Your brain: "Life sucks."
Your brain: "Because there is no almighty God to take care of us."
You: "What makes you so sure?"
Your brain: "Look at all the trouble in the world!"
You: "Name one."
Your brain: "Well, ... oh, world hunger."
You (reaching for keyboard): "Google.com ... 'world hunger', 'solutions' ... Were you talking about the World Food Prize? or maybe the Hunger Site?"
Something like that.
Of course, there are other times when your pain comes from actual problems. Get your brain to describe them – to map them out – by liberal application of the magic word "Why?" You will end up with a plan of action.
gently feral
It comes and goes, I'm sure you understand. One day I'm over the top with happiness and the other day I'm just so sad...I believe this is the kind of thing the Buddhists mean when they say, "You are not your thoughts": you are so much more than this moment of pain. When you are in pain, remember that.
Or for that matter, you are not your feelings. I saw this news headline today that this guy in Japan lost a leg riding his motorcycle and wasn't aware of it for some time, now that shows you how much the mind is capable of. When you are absorbed in your own feelings you naturally think that's all there is, but as you've already noticed, DM, experience changes. Look for the constant in both positive and negative experiences, as well as the absence of both and you will find a solid footing.
(((Deus ))) If this feeling is persistent and gets worse in the next few weeks, or you're still feeling this way after you start school, please see a doctor. You may be suffering from depression.
