by KW13 24 Replies latest jw friends
A man is driving along a country road when he notices another man standing motionless in the middle of a meadow. He pulls the car over to talk to the man.
"Excuse me sir, may I ask what you're doing?"
The man replies, "Why, I'm trying to win the nobel prize."
Perplexed, the other man asks, "How do you suppose you're going to do that?"
The man answers back, "I hear they give it to those who are outstanding in their field."
rush limbaugh is riding in the country in his limo. his driver makes a turn and runs over a pig. they think about what they should do. it's decided they should go tell the owner. so, the driver takes off on foot. he's gone for a few hours, then he returns. hopping mad, rush asks him, "what took so long?" so the driver said, well, i went to tell them what happened, when i did, i was invited in for dinner, was fed, given some good alcohol, then they let me have sex with their daughter. rush asked, "well, what did you tell them?" the driver said, the truth, i said " i'm rush limbaugh's limo driver and came to tell you i killed the pig."
A man playing golf hits his ball into a deep ditch. He goes down into the ditch carrying his club. After searching through the high grass for nearly a half hour, he notices a shiny object in the distance. Upon closer examination he sees that it is a human skeleton, grasping onto an eight-iron.
He calls up to his caddy, "I'm in some trouble down here!"
"What's the problem?", the caddy replies.
"I need my sand wedge. I'll never make it out of here with my eight-iron."
i love golf jokes, here's one.
jesus and moses are playing golf. jesus goes to tee off with a 3 wood.
moses says, jesus, you should use your driver.
jesus says, no, i saw arnold palmer clear this with a 3 wood. jesus tees off, and, plunk, into the water.
moses rolls his eyes, and says, I'll get it. he walks to the edge of the water, parts the pond, and retrieves the ball.
moses brings the ball back to jesus. and says, you really should use a driver.
jesus says noooo, arnold palmer cleared this with a 3 wood, i know i can. he tees off, plunk, into the drink again. moses goes and gets it again. this goes on a few more times, with moses parting the pond to get jesus ball, and them arguing on proper club selection. after the 5th time, jesus says, i'll get it
about this time, two other golfers walk up behind them and see him walking on the pond looking for his ball. they look at moses and say, who does this guy think he is? jesus? moses turns and says, no, he thinks he's arnold palmer.
All of these are hilarious, keep 'em coming.
