Sex is good

by joelbear 15 Replies latest social relationships

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  joelbear

  Hi all,

  Thanks for adding to this discussion.

  I agree that sex is for adults and I myself think of people as children until they are 21.

  I also agree that spending time with your kids is THE way to go. From the age of 12 on I basically raised myself. My father provided food and clothes and a house for me to sleep in. My mother cooked meals and cared for me when I was sick and took me to the Kingdom Hall. Neither one of them talked to me about my life or did anything recreational with me at all. I'm saying ZERO, nothing, not a movie, not a trip to putt putt or bowling, not a card game around the table, nothing.

  I can only say it one way, IT FUCKED ME UP.

  I grew up feeling like I had been abandoned. I do not believe this made me homosexual. I do believe this has affected the way I interrelate with people.

  My original point though is that sex itself it not a bad thing and that we really screw up people's heads making them hide their sexual feelings, fantasies and desires.

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  TR

  Six,

  I'm curious as to when you think they will suddenly become so equipped? On their 18th birthday?

  Pardon me, but what kind of dumb ass question is that?

  I do not think they will SUDDENLY be educated about sex. I believe in time that they will grow to understand what it's all about and how to keep sex in it's proper place. They are fully aware of the mechanics of sex and how reproduction works. Duh!

  I did misspeak when I said that we've never discussed birth control before. What I meant was that it's not a topic we drill into our kids heads. We have talked about it. We just don't emphasize it because we believe it plants the notion of "well I better be prepared to have sex when I'm not supposed to" in their minds. I'm sure that if my kids fucked up and decided to have sex, they'd be at least smart enough to have protection. I will NOT suggest to my daughters that they get on the pill "just in case". I think that promotes the idea of a "why not, I've got protection" type of promiscuity regarding sex.

  And BTW, in my opinion, casual sex is just as stupid for adults.

  Also, you said

  My kids apretty smart cookies. But there is no chance of them having sex around my house or any of their friends houses for that matter.

  I was just curious, what planet do you live on?

  What does that mean? I'm very familiar with my kids' friends parents, and it's just very unlikely that shenanigans will happen.

  Look, when I was a teen, I got away with all kinds of shit. My parents were just about clueless as to what we were doing until it was too late. We hung out at friends houses that had no parent home, etc. This kind of bullshit doesn't happen with my kids. I learned from my own mistakes and my parents mistakes. I am not a clueless parent. I take care of my kids, and I don't let this kind of crap happen.

  TR

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
• 

  SixofNine

  I believe in time that they will grow to understand what it's all about and how to keep sex in it's proper place.

  Really? How? For that matter, how did you get to be the "be all, end all" authority on what is sex's proper place? I know I sound agressive here, but it is a legitimate question.

  And BTW, in my opinion, casual sex is just as stupid for adults.

  I feel confident in saying, your daughter's first sexual experience, no matter how "right" the other person is for her future, will not be a "casual" thing in her mind.
• 

  Princess

  Hi Joel,

  The Prince and I were married when I was 18 and he was 28. We weren't aware we were supposed to wait to have sex until I was 21. Sorry.

  Princess
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  TR

  OK, Six,

  You and I obviously have differing ideas as to what is the proper way to raise kids. I'll stick with my view.

  how did you get to be the "be all, end all" authority on what is sex's proper place? I know I sound agressive here, but it is a legitimate question.

  Well, first of all, I don't claim to be the "be all, end all" authority. I believe in a common sense aproach to the matter. I don't believe that a casual approach to sex is a wise course for anyone, let alone kids.

  Q: Is is a good thing for children to have sex?

  Q: Is it a good thing to raise kids to abstain from sex until finding the right mate?

  Q: Are people risking unwanted pregnancies, disease, and other problems associated with casual sex?

  Q; What kind of family values should I have?

  These questions help me to raise my kids the way I do. Can you see a problem with this?

  BTW, none of my beliefs are based on Christian Fundy thinking. It seems commense sense to me. If my kids fall short of these ideals, well, shit happens, but at least I know that I tried my best to raise them to be decent people. Hopefully they would learn from their mistakes. But I believe they will be few a far between.

  TR

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
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  Abaddon

  Fact; The USA and the UK have the most pathetic, dumb ass attitude towards sex education in schools. They have high teen pregnancy rates.

  Fact; Holland has comprehensive sex education at school, and teen pregnancy rates a FRACTION of the US's or the UK's.

  Fact; The USA and the UK have lower ages of first sexual experiences than Holland.

  Conclusion; Teach them young, it won't encourage them to have sex earlier, if anything it'll put them off. And when they do have sex, they will know how to avoid undesirable side-effects.

  To pretend there is a magic age is dumb. People have sexual desire before 21, or 18, or (shock, horror) 16. I agree that it is better to wait until there is a degree of emotional maturity, but that emotional maturity is only gained by living life to the full, and that includes having sex.

  I think many people's attitudes are understandably affected by their unease at the thought of minors having sexual thoughts. I've taught in school, and in a classroom of 14 year olds you have young men and young women as well as the boys and girls. The only way of dealing with this is to accept it, even if it makes us uneasy. Our standards of sexual maturity in moderen society are very wise and just in that they prevent the exploiting of minors, but people under the age of 16 have been getting it on for millenia, and nothing changes that fact.

  Do a little research, comparative cultures, anthropology, etc.!

  What is essential is that minors are protected from sexually predatory adults and more mature minors who might use peer pressure on them.

  The only way to do this is to give the kids knowledge at a young age so that it is NOT an embaressing issue. If it's embaressing issue it gets hid. If it's an unspoken issue it gets hid.

  If it gets hid, the chances of abuse increase.

  I had an ex-girlfriend who only stopped sexual play between her and a group of boys her age when she realised that it wasn't normal and that she was being used. If she had had that knowledge to start off with, it would not have happened.

  Keep on rocking in the free world...