Your friends may want out too. That could be why they haven't left you for someone "safer". Although most people don't know what out even is. Or if it "out" exists at all. If any of us were really out, would we even be here at all talking about it? I mean, I haven't been to a meeting in 15 years probably. Very few people that know me even know I ever was "a witness". I found this site by accident looking for something related to Star Wars believe it or not, I read a few posts and said, "Oh no. These poor conflicted people are going through what I did." I feel for all of you. Every single one of you. Because I know what it's like. I do. And you, you're only 21. You may well still be a virgin. Possibly unaware of of the myriad of issues you will have to wrestle with inside yourself as you start dating "worldly" girls. I'll give you the advice I would give anybody in your shoes. It's really the only pearl of wisdom you will ever need. Follow your heart. Be true to yourself and you can't lose. I know it sounds simple, but I also know there has been a little voice inside you, maybe for years, that you've ignored. That said, "This ain't right. All this 5 meetings a week and field service and blah blah blah." And you ignored it. You went along with the motions. You maybe even fought to tell yourself you really believed. But you never did. The voice, Man. That's your heart. Follow it. Listen to it. Let it guide you. Don't be afraid of your instincts. They are there for a reason. But friend, and please listen to this, don't be like the spring that was coiled so tightly that it sprang loose and flew madly out of control around the room. Certian "Witness" wisdom isn't. It's just common sense. Don't fall in with a bad crowd. Don't start doing crazy drugs and getting drunk all the time. It's a dead end, Bro. It might win you cool points wiht the witness chicks and get you a sloppy make out from time to time, but you can waste a lot of years in there. Just do what you're doing. Your family will get over it if you show them respect. This may however take years. Your friends will follow if they want to. If they don't, they'll likely hang around until you get new ones. If they're really your friends, it won't matter if you're a Witness or not. But as you go, it could lead to fear in them. Misery loves company. So be mindful that you don't give them an opportunity to "sell you out' and tell on you for something you did "bad" to make themselves look "repentent". You need to leave. But you need to leave on your own terms. Don't leave with a DF. In the end, it doesn't really matter, but why give them the satisfaction? At least I've always been privately proud that I left on my own terms, no DF, no hassles. I just, floated away. My Sister is still in. The rest of my family is out. I try to respect my Sister's feelings, but I am forthright about my feelings about her faith if it comes up. Which it usually doesn't because my love for her was there before either of us knew people could even invent things like God and we have plenty of other things to talk about. I wish you the best of luck, my friend. To quote Obi Wan Kenobi, "You have taken your first step into a larger world." S.
