This week, my wife called me an "opposing husband" - because I stopped believing that Jehovah chose the Watchtower Society as his sole channel on earth.
Then call her an "opposing wife" - somehow the dubs have a SUPER one-sided view of this:
They tell stories about the unbelieving father who kicks his daughter out of the house because she becomes a JW. That's family opposition, it's evil, persecution from the devil.
They demand that JW parents shun their own children if they LEAVE the JWs. That's gods will, it's right, it'll help them see the truth.
When they do it, it's good. When we do it, it's bad.
So yes, you are an opposing husband, but she's just as sure that YOU are wrong as you are about her. You are equal, don't let her demonize you for this.
My wife knows about the Society, it's flip-flop on doctrines, child sex abuse scandals, including the UN, but NONE OF THAT MATTERS.
Does she still preach that these don't exist? If confonted in the field about any of these things, will she insist that they are apostate lies? Or will she tell the truth?
She doesn't read the litertaure, not even the bible.
Because she's lazy, or because she doesn't like them? If she's just lazy, then I don't know what to say about that. But if she doesn't like them, how about offering some of you own literature for her to read.
She's in the truth mainly because of the friendships she has and the possibility that Jehovah might still be in charge of the organization.
Go somewhere and make some different friends with her. They will most probably be better and more fun, so she will soon have to decide whether she wants to spend Sunday morning with her fun and interesting friends, or go to the meeting and sit bored around her old friends. Unless she's a very boring person, this will probably work.
Why does she still consider it a possibility? Find out what makes her think god is involved with these people. Given her lack of interest in the matter, I doubt SHE even knows why.
I'm the one who gets the blame because I don't believe. She refuses to listen, to do research or anything else.
Then shift the blame on her. Chew her out for being in a cult. Make her the villian. After all, she IS associating with a bunch of cheap-butt child-abuse-hiding hypocrites. She thinks she's better than you. Prove her wrong. Maybe you should argue with an elder in her presence, when she sees that the elder is wrong, or if he is the first to get angry, then it would be harder to demonize you.
If I back off and leave her alone, she gets nasty with me if I don't go to the meetings. She wants absolute control of the conversation when
it comes to the Society - if she starts a conversation about them, and I say something she didn't like, I'm the one who has to back off and respect her.
That is a personality flaw on her part, I can't suggest anything about that. Have you considered marriage counseling?
She doesn't believe she could ever find a gathering of worldly people who don't curse, swear and drink/smoke, so for that reason she doesn't want
to leave the organization.
Go find one. They do exist. I don't curse/swear drink or smoke.
Why does she need a 'gathering'? JW's need gatherings because they are so terribly boring that they need to gather in huge groups before you can squeeze even a few small drops of fun out of them. But if you have interesting friends then you need a huge group.
I'm not sure what do to at this stage. What can I offer her that is better than what she has? If I leave her alone, she won't respect my beliefs.
Just offer what you can. It's up to her whether or not she wants it.
You are a truthseeker, the truth is important to you. She doesn't seem to CARE about the truth, so maybe you should focus less on facts and more on rewards.
She thinks that her life would SUCK if she quit going to the meetings. This is not true. Prove it. Go out, get some friends, and start having fun. Maybe she'll eventually want to be part of it. If not, at least YOU'RE having fun right?
Lastly: Is her respect really that important? I have found that if someone refuses to respect people, their opinion doesn't actually matter.
Lore