I go on a site over here for parents, and in their faith and religion section there are regular posts on jws (where i do my bit of apostasysing lol). Anyway some of them who go on there are being shunned like moi, whereas there are a few whose parents regularly see them and their grandkids, one even says all the jws speak to her even though she was d'fd! Whilst i am pleased for them that they don't have to cope with their parents cutting them and their kiddies out, it makes me even more annoyed at the extremes you get. I'm surprised they are allowed to as well, apparently they don't do it on the quiet. There are a couple of families in our congregation that still saw their children too, whereas the pressure from my hubs step dad to my sis in law etc to ignore me was great. (Maybe he just hates my guts lol!). Just wondering is anyone here actually d'fd or d'ad but they are still in regular touch and association (god i hate that word now!) with their jw families and friends?
Anyone d'ad d'fd and not being shunned?
by dobbie 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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IP_SEC
DA'd
None of my immediate family shun me. Privately I have been hugged and kissed by my closer friends in the org. They would not dare if an elder or busy body was within sight.
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dobbie
IP_SEC so do your family apeak to you in front of other jehovahs witnesses or do they only do it when they are not around?Would they shun you if other jws were present? Just wondering as that is what my sis in law started out by doing, but tbh i find it too difficult, not knowing if shes going to speak to me or not (though i think shes stopped altogether now!)
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IP_SEC
I live nearly 500 miles away so it is hard to tell dobbie. I think my mom would talk to me in front of others. Na, I know she would.
There is a small group that will not shun me within that group (in other words if ones from that group were present) but Im sure they would if the elders or a busy body was present.
It doesnt bother me. It just is what it is. I really dont have anything much to do with them. If they want to associate with me, they can seek me out. If not, no big loss.
At the same time thats just how I am. I usually dont actively seek anyones friendship so my thoughts may not help you much.
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noni1974
My parents don't shun me at all.Never really have.My little sister doesn't really shun me either I'm allowed to see her kids when she's in town.My brother does somewhat but not totaly.When my dad got hurt at work my brother picked me up and took me to the hospital and even ate with me.My little sister and her husband have arrainged for me to meet there adopted sons and had breakfast with me and even picked up the bill.(That was the first time I met them I've spent lots more time with them since but they live in FL so it' is limited to when they are in Ohio)My two aunts talk to me and even had dinner with me.My Grandpa before he died in June talked to me and had dinner with me.I saw my cousin the other day in line getting lunch and we talked.
My one aunt even hugs me when she sees me and says she misses me.One of my other aunts hugs me and thanks me for being such a good daughter to my Mom and taking care of her.
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Seeker4
My ex-wife, daughter, son-in-law and mother all speak to me. I'm never around other JWs to speak of.
Last weekend I ran into two old JW friends that I hadn't seen in quite a while, and they both talked to me, were very friendly, etc.
Others I see will sometimes smile, sometimes speak to me and often shun me.
Odd little religion, eh?
S4
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zeroday
DA'd 3 years I have some JW family mostly cousins that do not shun me they think it's all a load of crap although I do have one cousin ex elder that cheated on his JW wife and was only Publicly Reproved for it he shuns me go figure...
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dobbie
<odd little religion,eh?'
Lol seeker4 you said it!I suppose it comes down to two things, how close their relationship was to you in the first place and just how much they are sucked into the religion.
IP_SEC all thoughts and viewpoints are helpful to me thanks, i don't actually want their friendship now, i have made new ones though i don't see them loads as i don't need loads of company but it surprises me that ones do still talk as i thought they had to shun or be kicked out. I'm glad though cos its a horrid thought, parents ignoring their own kids and vice versa. I just worry about hubby they already treat him as marked and i don't know what he'll be like if they do kick him out.
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Twitch
I was never baptized and I left after a JC on my smoking and worldly associations. I was unrepentant and they blacklisted me from the podium.
My brother was baptized and was DF'd.
My parents haven't shunned us though the early years were rather rough on us as a family.
Some dubs will talk to me and have been rather friendly. Some longtime family friends have shunned me when I've seen 'em on the street. Some hardliners blacklisted my parents for even talking to us.
People are strange, eh?
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garybuss
I've observed there are two broad types found at the Kingdom Hall. One type is the Watchtower Witnesses and the other type look and act more like Bible Students. The Watchtower Witnesses will be the ones to shun and the Bible Students will be the ones who don't.
The Bible Student type ignore much of what the Society puts in print and their meeting attendance is more ritual than religion.
Another type just acknowledged by the Society in today's Watchtower lesson is the "false brother". This type might shun in public with other Witnesses in order to keep up the facade. They aren't Watchtower Witnesses and they aren't really Bible Student types either. They are pragmatists, and they advise balance and responsible behavior. They are the ones who advise college, careers, and retirement saving plans.
The Society is turning up the heat on these people.
Witnesses are a fascinating group to watch. They've figured out how to put in one room just about everything you'd ever see wrong with a group. I'm still amazed they were able to start out with error, turn that into bad behavior, and make a billion dollar business out of it all.