Oops. I thought this was yet another thread about masturbation.
Now being serious, you've made tremendous progress in the time you've been on JWD, R.F.
Keep it up!
Learning About Self
by R.F. 15 Replies latest jw experiences
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Mum
R.F., I admire you so much for doing what you are doing at such a young age. Waking up is hard to do!
A few years ago I took some personality inventory type "tests" and vocational interest tests. I recommend that you do the same. A counselor at your local community college probably could administer them for a nominal fee. In the meantime, it would be good to purchase a book called Please Understand Me. There is a self-test in the book, and it teaches you about your psychological type. What I gained from this book was reading about the other types, too. I used their characteristics to change myself to be more like them if they handled things better.
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R.F.
CG21 - in your case it's like i told you the other day....you've already been through so much and have overcome mountains of challenges that I wonder if I could tackle if they were to come my way. You have alot to be proud of yourself about...i know i'm sure proud of you.
DJK- nothing weird about that at all! That's one thing that has really hit me recently.....you must understand yourself or at least try to before others can.
tinker - thanks for that quote. I may have to post that one my fridge. There has been so much change lately that hit me like a freight train and I didn't think I could handle it. I've seemed to wiggle my way through it I guess. It's strange how life can do a 180 on you so suddenly.
ex-nj-jw - I should really appreciate my age more. I often complain that i've wasted much precious time by living in a fairy tale, yet there are many here that have spent more than double my age in the lie before they broke free. I should be VERY happy of that!
nvrgnbk - you naughty guy.. lol. and thank you.
Thank you for the advice Mum. I will definitely look into those things.
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unique1
Kudos!! Time for new goals??
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samiam2b
I can really relate. Even before I left (as I realize now), this journey started for me. Like another reply mentioned, I too bought the book Please Understand Me and then the sequel Please Understand Me II. I was searching for myself, feeling lost like I was missing something and wanted to better understand who I was, what I stood for, even what I thought about... anything/everything. I even had an elder and his wife do the test, at the time for entertainment purposes - perhaps to validate the benefit of self awareness.
Think about what I said for a moment... "I wanted to know what I thought about... anything/everything".
For so many years I had been told what to think and how to think that I was not an individual. Trying to mold myself after what everyone else that I knew had told me that I should be. Watching a close friend, who had been an elder, a pioneer, had even been imprisoned for not going to Vietnam- as he struggled to figure out why they wouldn't make him an elder even though he was doing all the right things. I did not want to spend 30 years doing that, being that, thinking that. I wanted to be happy and as a JW I was not happy. It was fundamentally because of being a JW that I was not happy.
After leaving, my now wife, had to break the mind control. She asked me what I thought about many different topics. Usually I had to think about it before I could answer, so that the answers would be my own and not just regurgitated concepts. We discussed the meaning of life, politics, relationships, evolution/creation, eduation, religion, and all those types of topics. She guided me through this transition as we learned about each other, like most other happy couples, although for me I was also learning about myself.
Don't misunderstand... she and I have very different viewpoints on certain things, while some of my opinions are more conservative than hers (is that a long term effect of ultra-conservative religous upbringing?) I know them to be my own and for the most part fell that they are no longer influenced by the JWs. I say for the most part because the one topic that I cannot reconcile is one that many here have already or never had to struggle with.
Is there a god? Is the bible really a book from god? Is there a true religion? Were we created or did we evolve? Does one need some kind of religion in order to be "saved"? For many this is a religous position but for me I am not sure yet. It has taken years for me to heal the other aspects of me and I do not yet feel that I can deal with this topic and be unbiased or not be effected in some way from my upbringing. I am irritated by that fact, as it feels that I am still under some sort of JW spell but its also a topic that I am not forced to face to live a "normal" and peaceful existence.
It is ironic, to me, that the ultra-theologic religion of JWs has itself left me unable to support or defend the existence of a god or the sanctity of the bible.
I wish you much happiness through your journey, think of it as a learning time. Learn about yourself and how you fit in with everyone else on this planet. Be yourself and above all be happy. If there is a god, surely he/she would not ask you to be unhappy in order to prove your allegiance.
Cheers
samiam2b
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