I am so glad you have a loving husband there with you! I had to take a little while to read all the posts this morning. I felt like crying too and had to stop for a while. There is something in the air here. We have so much pain, yet so much love to give. I am wishing you all the best. All of you.
I was only shunned by my mom for a few months, and even though we were never close, it hurt like hell. I used to cry myself to sleep after my grandpa died for several years. Sometimes our thoughts and memories get the best of us in the dark with our heads on our pillows. Let it out. Process it. Enjoy your life. Accept your humanness and remember we love you. Things may one day change, and if not, you have been a loving daughter and tried your best. My sister has never been close to me either. I remember about 13 years ago, an elder gave me good advice. He said, after sharing his past painful experience, " You can't make people be your friends." I was dumbstruck thinking that this can even apply to family members. I have remembered that, and remind myself of it every time my kindness is met with hostility and arrogance from her.
No doubt your father loves you, seeing you have wonderful memories, and is hurting too. It is a fearful thing to be a jw and constantly worry about your standing with the organization. I hope you find a place of peace and treat yourself to a little self-love. I usually use shopping as my pick me up. Nothing big. Maybe a small pretty item from a boutique, or lunch out with a good book. Always be good to yourself and say positive things about yourself in your head. No negativity allowed. I know, easier said than done. But taking care of yourself (you mentioned exercising) and tender thoughts to yourself, like you would give to your loved ones, will help. I hope you are feeling comforted and happy today!
Hugs,
Kitten Whiskers
Cried myself to sleep last night
by unique1 32 Replies latest jw experiences
-
kitten whiskers
-
MsBHaving
I have stopped trying to connect and hope that one day I do not regret it. Problem is, one can only take so much reection before it becomes toxic.
I have the same probelm with my mother and sister. For an organization likes to say they teach love and kindness, I have never seen so much hatred.
I was a JW for 30+ years. I just faded out, never DF'd or DA'd but I am treated as if I was. It really hurts, but it will never me me want to go back.
I have tried emailing them, telling them new things in my life, I am usually anxiety ridden waiting for a reply for two weeks (I have general anxiety disorder) only to have them reply with something hurtful every time. I have been thinking about doing it again but don't know if I can do it without the panic attacks. Perhaps I shold SEND a letter via mail instead of email
I haven't emailed but I have sent letters, cards, left messages on the phone, all have gone unacknowledged. My mother shows no interest in my life or my kids lives. I called to tell her about the births of my grandchildren, sent pics, and she doesn't even so much as ask which one of my kids had the baby or what their names are? My brother passed away in early July, (he was not a JW) and the family was so hateful even in a time of death. I sent my mother flowers, a memorial tree in his name, and she can't even so much as send a thank you for the thought. What's wrong with them? I fight myself all the time not to send the letter with all my anger. My mother is 82 and will die soon, I will never have the chance to clear the air wither her, not that I haven't tried. They won't allow it. My sister has her so brainwashed that she is actually afraid to take a call from me.
You know what, I am happy with my immediate family (hubby, daughter, son and my in -law children) my beautiful grandbabies and all. I have to tell myself often that its all that matters and to live life to the fullest. I lost too many precious years with that hateful CULT.
-
jeanne40love
You are grieving.....it is an incredible process for anyone.
I'm sorry about your dad....Maybe he will come to his senses before too long. How long have you ben estranged?