by AWAKE&WATCHING 66 Replies latest jw friends
Dear AwakeandWatching,
(((HUGS)))!!I am so sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you have been treated like this before, and perhaps this was the last straw. Hang in there! You have our love and support here!! (((HUGS)))!!!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
Thanks for all the support and hugs, I really need it right now.
My husband has acted like this for almost 5 years. For the last year and 8 months he is out every week-end night (except 2 in all this time) until 2:30 - 4:00 am.
He is in the "theocratic" school and has a Bible study with an 11 year old so this is something that has really bothered me. Hypocrisy at it's finest.
He has been really supportive since I started telling him about things I was finding out (you know, evil apostate stuff) a few months ago . I was actually surprised by that and for the first time since we were married he was acting like the man I fell in love with. Still going out though doing who knows what with who knows who.
When we started dating he would ask "What are you doing this week-end?"
As time went on it was "What are we doing this week-end?"
Now if I ask "Where have you been until 3:30 am?" I'm supposed to accept his answer, "Out and about."
And you know what? For a long time it mattered to me how and why this had happened.
The only thing that matters now is that IT IS THIS WAY. Not why or how.
Counting Crows / "Sullivant Street":
" I don't really care, I'm gone from there."
Dear Awake&Watching,
There isn't anything he could be doing until 3 am that he won't share with you that is positive....I be you are sure of that!! You have obviously put up with alot. Hang in there dear! (((HUGS!!)))
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
A&W I know how hard it is to move on after an abusive relationship, but you will get on and wonder to yourself why you didn't do it sooner!
Dont worry about any of the things left behind. Things can get replaced it's not a big deal.
Take care of yourself!
Awake and Watching... I'm so sorry about what you are going through.. him being out all night doesn't sound right .. my recent relationship had something similar and I know I never thought good things were happening during those hours..
I'm sort of sorry to see that race has been brought into this thread though. There are a lot of good black men out there... and there are plenty of controlling non black men. Personally I think the WTS breeds them.... we're taught the man is the head of the house and the good christian wife obeys her husband.
at any rate, I wish you strength in whatever you need to get to where you need to go or be!
Well I just got a load out of the house. Important things like photo albums, books, file cabinet and of course my Pampered Chef. Next load Thurs. will be my fairy and glass collections which will take some time. I have a huge picture window full of stained glass pieces, blown glass balls and things I've made out of old chandelier crstals and glass beads. That will be emotionally hard on me to take down because it was a year long project. It's so beautiful and I know it will probably be quite awhile before I can hang it all up again.
I appreciate all of your words of encouragement and just wanted you to know I'm fine and moving forward.
Love to you all.
Robin
Awake & Watching- So sorry to see you are going through this. Mr.& Mrs. Flipper send their best. We were both at times over the years, before meeting each other , with people who took us for granted. You have to do what you have to do, for peace of your mind. You have friends that care here, as you can see. The sun will rise again on your loving heart one day, and you will find love again in a man who appreciates you dearly. Peace to you our friend, Mr. Flipper
well I am so glad you are able to keep going back to get your things.. my first husband changed the locks and I had to get a court order to get anything I wanted out of it...
including my car.. which he and his elder father urinated in before I could get it..
you never know what happens when you leave.. so I am so glad to hear you are at least not having too many problems getting your things
It sounds like there was more to it than what you wrote. I was with a controller who wanted me away from my family. After years of neglect on his part, I left. I've been so at peace and happy since. This is not for everyone, but it sure did improve my life, and if leaving improves yours, my blessings for many future years of happiness.
Now if I ask "Where have you been until 3:30 am?" I'm supposed to accept his answer, "Out and about."
And you know what? For a long time it mattered to me how and why this had happened.
Initailly when my ex would stay out late I would wait up for him, all the time praying and fearing he was in a ditch somewhere.
As the years went by this evolved into wishing he was in a ditch somewhere, that's when I knew it was time to get out.
Best of luck
