First there was the brother who happily pointed out that I'd missed two meetings recently and that he was keeping track.
Some handy ploys for you to repeat as often as necessary for this type of jackass:
1. "I beg your pardon?" (drag this out, lots of direct eye-contact - your eyes slightly bugging out - pretend he's telling you that he's just put a car-bomb in the PO's Chevy)
2. "Now, let me get this straight: you're telling me that I've missed two meetings? And that you're - what? Keeping track?" (Now shake your head slowly from side to side with a look of profound sadness, and, then look him directly in the eyes and say "Why?" Pretend he's just told you that he has been killing kittens and puppies since he was 12.)
3. Tell yourself a funny joke or picture something funny (this jackass stark naked wearing his underpants on his head). Start laughing uncontrollably - clutching the chairs, the walls - gasping, wheezing for breath. Pretend you are having a stroke. Finally, wipe the tears from your eyes, walk away shaking your head, chuckling softly, looking back at him once or twice and take your seat. Make a gun with your thumb and forefinger - wink and pretend to shoot him.