by minimus 54 Replies latest jw friends
If a faithful devout JW saw her husband on a board like this or reading "apostate" literature, if she was so disturbed by her husband's actions and the husband justified himself, would you think that if she told the elders because she was truly concerned that her mate was going to leave "The Truth" and ultimately not make it into the "new system", --------that this was simply a marital issue-----not a religious one?
Your opinions please.
Well it happened to me.
I viewed it as a marital issue. One that could not be overcome. *SEE YA!*
I think it can be both. But I wouldn't simply isolate as either one or the other.
My wife began to realize that something was up in 2001, when I started getting phone calls at all hours from all over the world. I was working to help create some contacts with JW or ex-JW abuse victims for the writers and TV producers that were doing the articles and programs when Bill Bowen and others brought the JW pedophile into public scrutiny.
I had to explain to her what I was doing - using H2O to get my contact information out, and then screening and passing on to the journalists I was working with, the best of what ended up to be about 60 to 80 or so people that contacted me with JW abuse stories.
She kept it to herself, at least at the time. I was directly quoted by name in only one national article, but I never heard anything back on that from the bros.
If she had told, I think I would have viewed it as a marital issue. She had enough experience in the Witnesses to know that there was a lot of bad shit going down, and getting it exposed was a good thing.
S4
That's a tough one. I see so many different sides to your question.....so many ways to look at this! I'm eager to see the responses.
But I wouldn't simply isolate as either one or the other.
No I dont believe so. It comes down to loyalty. That loyalty can be to your spouse or to anything else. Here in this instance it happens to be religion. But it is not a religious problem. It is a loyalty problem. Loyalty is a marital issue.
THat's just the thing, it depends on your perspective, where you're coming from. Viewing it from strictly one perspective is narrow and will probably not work very well, although there is the question of which has more pull - apparently there has been a few cases where the marriage was so strong that it pulled the other out.
If we want to dig a little deeper it kind of shows how shallow/deep the relationship may be in the first place, and membership in the same religion with reasonably attractive personal features is just not a good or very deep bond. Of course we've heard of the three cord thingy, the problem is people think religion is the same as a spiritual bond. Has anyone in the organization ever pointed this out? Or is it a matter of taking care of the "desires incidental to youth"? No? Maybe they don't even know what spirituality is in the first place.
If we want to dig a little deeper it kind of shows how shallow/deep the relationship may be in the first place
Exactly! Therefore it is a marital issue, not a religious one. You could substitute the words, political party, sexual orientation, heath, et cetera, for religion. It is still the same problem just a different vie for the spouses loyalty.
It all depends upon how brainwashed the wife is. When I think back about all the stupid stuff I did and beleived while I was brainwashed! I can hardly beleive I was that stupid!! So if the wife is really brainwashed, then I would blame the brainwashing not the wife. Now, if she already nows the religion is BS and is just trying to get back at you or something, then I would say it is a marital issue.
And I would just add that for those who stayed together, perhaps the spiritual bond is in the marriage and not the religion, interesting isn't it?
