Ask Jehovah anything you'd like...
by nvrgnbk 75 Replies latest jw friends
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sweetface2233
Do you not find it arrogant to create an entire universe to worship and serve you? What...your friends don't like you or something?
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jaguarbass
Jehobers good with the yes and no questions. He bats 50% on those.
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serotonin_wraith
From another recent topic:
Seeing as apologetics have enough trouble explaining how all the animals managed to fit on the ark, where was the room for all the sinners even if they had wanted to get onboard?
Edit: This one was said already, sorry!
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keyser soze
Jehovah, can you make my thingy bigger?
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watson
Why do you communicate through the dreams of old men?
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franzy
trust me, you would have eventually eaten those apples,
and now you must pay.
love,
god
(god's answer to kathleen lavalee, who in prayer said she
never would have eaten those apples if god had told her
not to. from the site referenced by nvr above) -
nvrgnbk
G'day Almighty Ruler and Creator of All Things Living and Dead,we were just wondering how You're doing today.
Amen,
Myra & DjoekMyra & Djoek, That's a very thoughtful and sensitive question. Hmm, how am I doing? OK Djoek and Myra, I'll tell you how I'm doing. I am trying to be God over a planet that I hope to one day make entirely Christian.... AND I'M TOTALLY FLIPPING MY LID! IT'S COMPLETE MADNESS DOWN THERE!
No one really believes in Me! I am God over this whole empty universe and you guys are the closest I've gotten to totally Christian! It's appalling! Have you switched through the stations lately? Have you browsed over a magazine stand in the last 20 years? How 'bout this Djoek, have you looked in the mirror lately?!?!
It's like I to have to wipe out a whole nother race... again! First with the dinosaurs! You've no idea how far those things were from loving Me! Have you ever tried cuddling up to a crocodile? It's not exactly a prescription for the blues.
So then I made cavemen. Christ! Could they kill a mood! And those slopeheads were worshipping everything BUT Me! The sun, rocks, fireflies! Yeah that's right, FIREFLIES! I created the human soul and these knuckle-draggers bowed down to bat food! I tell ya, it was a joy squashing them under My thumb!
Oh, and then I made Adam and Eve! Those bastards sold me out for an APPLE! Goddamned PRODUCE is all they needed to stab a knife in the back of their Master! And then their kids start murdering each other?!?! Fucking MURDER! Can you believe it? And I was hardly a generation into the race! I waited too goddamned long to drown that big mistake.
OK, so after the flood I'm thinking that it couldn't get any worse. So you know what you folks did? YOU EXECUTED MY SON! HA! YEAH, I KNOW! I mean what the?!?! I was utterly speechless!
And now there's you guys. You with your adult oriented entertainment, walk-man radio playin', cockfights, road rage, half T-shirt contests and pimp daddies. It's hopeless. I guess that I just don't have the knack for building a fan base.
So yeah, I'm doing peachy keen. Thanks for askin'.
Love, God
Hilarious!
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Missanna
Jehovah, Bob, Asshole... whatever
Does everything happen for a reason? If you can tell what is going to happen before it happens why did you let me go through so much as an innocent child?
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eclipse
Why do you let assholes like Ted Jaracz live long lives
and the good people like all of those on sad emo's vigil threads are dying or are seriously ill at such young ages.
And if you have some bullshit answer, like, well that is how to get to heaven sooner, then tell me, why suffer so much before taking them?
Why not just take them nicely in their sleep at the ripe old age of 100, and let them live healthy happy lives?
Either way, it's not fair, and I'm pissed at you.
