You are having some post guilt about the JWs I had that very disorder when I started to fade.
No, sorry, I am not. There's not one bit of guilt here. I've never thought it was the truth. I had a teeny bit at first, but the more I am out and see what's going on, the more I am sickened. I never felt that JWs were my "true friends". I've felt the exact opposite. I've had more loyalty from a stray dog who crosses my path when I'm on a run. Besides, the only "disorder" I have is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, due to my upbringing, my absent father, and my abusive marriage.
The last convo I had w/ my baby sis, she called me an apostate and poison to her faith. I asked her out of all the things she's heard me say to tell me the one thing that bothers her the most. Her answer was, "When you said the governing body is mind controlling." Well hot damn, what comes out in a KM 2 months later? An article telling JWs that they aren't to read any publications that aren't written by the WTS. I'm sure she's not the only one who has had the seed planted and dwells on it every day.