DF and heartbroken

by cassyrene 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mind my own
    mind my own

    cassyrene:

    My heart goes out to you, I feel your pain. Although I have never been disfellowshiped, a very similar thing happened to me with my family just a few months ago when I was getting married. There is something about things being "final" even though you know at some point its coming. I don't have advise on how to make you feel better b/c I am still working through it myself. I have tried to fully immerse myself in my current life with my new husband and my friends. They are my family!

    I will be thinking of you, and know you are not alone in how you feel!

    MMO

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    First off, WELCOME to our group of very diversified ex-jws (and others).

    You sound like a young lady that overcomes obstacles, even though you have to do it through hardship and heartache.

    You have good news in this story (congrats on the wedding!) and bad news (shunning from your family). Sounds like you've dealt with their shunning and abuse before, so you can deal with it again. Focus on the good, dear, and let the cultists have their cult. Any children you may have may actually be better off, imo, not being exposed to their nonsense and lack of real love...... Journey-on!

  • oompa
    oompa

    Cassayene, you have friends here that can relate, and perhaps somewhat understand what you have been through. What an unfair burdern you have had to carry. I hope that by sharing here it will help in even the smallest way. I am so sorry.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Casssayene)))))))))))))))))))))))))......oompa

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    welcome to the board cassie..

    congrats on getting a LIFE outside the Borg. congrats on your new husband. congrats on your Masters.

    Very sad about your father, but not surprising. I think my mom would not shun me if I ever DF/DA, but who knows what a dub will do until it happens.

    Do what you want, but if you leave the door open a crack to your father, then you will show you are NOT like him and the other JWS....you can take the high road and be a better person than any JW.... but that is of course YOUR CHOICE..isnt it nice to have choices?

    welcome to the board...glad you posted and hope you stay a long while....we are here for you 24/7.... unlike your family and the elders in the Borg...

    Snakes ()

  • LearningToFly
    LearningToFly

    (((((Cassyrene))))) Please feel a warm hug! Thank you for sharing your story, it is so very sad to read of all the things you went through. My story although not the same, is very similar.

    You are a very brave and strong woman, and it is so good that you found this forum to share your experiences. So many here have similar stories, and share your heartache. There is so much loving support here amongst the members, this support will help you to move forward and comfort you while you are working through your loss. (((Hugs)))

    Congratulations on your Masters, your achieving this even through all that you have been through truely shows your strength. I am proud of you, and you too should be so proud of yourself.

    Be happy with your sweety, and build the family you did not have growing up nor have now. Sometimes it is those we bring into our life after losing blood relatives, that truly become our family. Ones who love us for who we are, unconditionally.

    As other posters said, they are a cult, and controlled while belonging. I also hope that they will turn around and take back their words, it is such a sad thing that families are destroyed by this cult.

    Once again, thank you so much for sharing, it takes bravery to share painful experiences, but it is also the way to healing. Welcome to the forum Cassyrene

    LTF

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    Hi Cassy, so sorry to hear what's been done to you. You don't deserve any of this, always remember that. I noticed Mind my own and you are both in Alberta, some of the other posters are as well, maybe you could contact them and possibly meet for coffee or something. Form some friendships with people who can relate to your situation, just a suggestion, hope it might help ease your pain even a little bit. Hugs!!

    SS

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I usually suggest that people cut their family some understanding because they are members
    of a mind-control cult. In your case, your family is teetering on obedience and loyalty vs.
    doing the right thing. I would advise sending them a letter at least once a year. It could just
    be a card or a quick note, telling them you are okay (or not). They just may be there for you
    if you have problems.

    Congrats on your masters and your new life with the love of your life. You go, girl!

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle

    Wow. That is a heart wrenching story Cassyrene.

    You will find comfort here from many genuine and nice, caring and intelligent people.

    My heart goes out to you. There has already been a lot of good supportive advice for you to consider here.

    I wish you much happiness in the years ahead.

    The Oracle

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    Welcome Sweetie, and thank you for sharing your story with us. You can click on my name on the hamster's picture and read my story.....and you will see how so many of us have been treated unfairly by members of our own families. We can certainly empathize with your mistreatment, and it means ever so much when another can truly understand your situation.

    You can be extremely PROUD of the Master's Degree and all that you have already accomplished with such grit, determination and perseverance! GOOD for YOU!

    You ARE among friends here, and I could not have thought of any better place THAN JWD, for you to find acceptance, love and comfort with those that have been through similar instances at the hands of the evil Watchtower.

    hugs,

    Annie

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    All the best Cassie, perhaps one day your father will realizes what a mistake he has made regarding your relationship, this is by no means your fault at all

    you sound like a bright intelligent woman with a good sense of social awareness, something that an JW can never possible possess !

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