Anyone else have an....

by Stealth453 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  Stealth453

  Isn't it the LAW to have mirrors on the cycle?

  Not in the Philippines.
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  Stealth453

  Thanks...I neede that....
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  sweetface2233

  Your profile states that you are in the Phillipines. How could that be 13K miles away from him? How could he be using it to drive your girls to school? Does it have a side car? Do they even make those anymore?
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  Stealth453

  I am in Canada working, so I leave my family for 4 months of the year, and this is when he starts his games.
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  aSphereisnotaCircle

  I leave my family for 4 months of the year, and this is when he starts his games.

  he does it when you leave? Sounds like he has some issue with it.

  No advice, I only have daughters, and they have never given me any serious problems......yet.
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  juni

  I was confused also Stealth. I thought you were in the Philippines now. I forgot that you traveled around. It's a safety issue and your daughters are involved. He's 18 and legally (? in the Philippines) can do what he wants for himself. That's a separate issue from having the girls riding on the back and their safety.

  Don't envy you! Mine are all adults w/their own families now....

  Juni ~~
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  ronin1

  Talk to his mother about the situation and if need be, ask a sympathic law enforcement person to intercede.

  His actions are not only disrespectful and disobedient, but dangerous for your daughters.

  Ronin1
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  Dawn

  Stealth - hang in there and keep on his @ss - tell him you aren't going to stop because you love him too much.

  I went through much of the same thing with my son, he's older now and has since told me how much he appreciated that his dad and I kept on him - he knows he's loved.

  By the way - I think most boys go through this with their dads from around 16 to 20 or so - a sort of tug-of-war where they want to be their own boss and be the man. It's a natural part of growing up.
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  LoverOfTruth

  We as parents will always worry about our kids no matter how old they are.
• 

  AGuest

  May you have peace... and may I respond? Thank you!

  I have a 25 year old son and 30 (on 9/13) year old daughter. I have never had the "problems" that I hear a lot of parents speak about, and so some might not think I'm qualified to respond; however, I'd like to give it a shot.

  If I were in your position, I would call my son and tell him, "I really need to talk with you when you have some time. If now isn't a good time, just let me know when I should call, 'cause I need your help with something and really want your attention." More likely than not, he won't be able to wait until another time, so he'll let you continue.

  I would then say, "You know, I know this might sound a little stupid, and I probably shouldn't worry because I really trust you, but I can't help being concerned that the girls are riding with you and you have no mirrors. I mean, I know you're responsible and wouldn't do anything to hurt your sisters, but you're not the only one out there; stuff happens. I don't think I could ever get over something happening to one of them just because we didn't take all of the precautions we could have. So, I'd like you to do ME a favor, if you can do it; if you can't, I'll try to understand." Then I'd wait for him to ask what the favor was.

  I would then say, "It would really make me feel better if I knew you had mirrors on your bike. I know, you're a good kid and a great motorcycle rider. But it would really make ME feel better. Right now, I just can't stop worrying about it. If I bought the mirrors, if I paid for them, do you think you could put one or two on, as a favor to me?"

  And then you leave it up to him to decide whether he can accommodate you or not.

  Now, I know there are some parents out there who would say, "What the...? I wouldn't ask him anything; I would tell him... and he darn well better do it." Well, now, that might be one way to go. And it might work for some kids. I don't get the impression, however, that it would work for yours. And so, yes, I am probably asking you to exercise a little humility when communicating with your "grown" child... but if he goes for it, there is a benefit: your daughters might be a little safer and you might worry a little less. If he doesn't, you're no worse off than before. On the other hand, if you try to MAKE him do it... well, as you can see... you most probably will get nowhere... to the potential detriment of your daughters.

  Just a little bit of advice, which you can take or leave.

  Again, I bid you peace.

  A slave of Christ,

  SA