What exactly can I get disfellowshipped for?

by Younglove1999 38 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Terry

  There is really only one disfellowshipping offense under which all others dovetail: insubordination. Otherwise known as: rebellious attitutude.

  You see, everybody is "weak" and succumbs now and then to some offense. It is how you display an attitude about it which is key.

  If you fight, resist, argue, self-exonerate, give excuses or otherwise wiggle and twist; you are dead meat!

  NEVER ARGUE!

  The bottomline is this: the elders have to engage in due process.

  1.Establish an offense has been committed. (Somebody reports you and two witnesses are available to testify) Or, you confess. (Suspicion only won't work. That's when they carefully grill you for more data.)

  2.Approach you and get your side.

  3.Demonstrate the offense by citing scripture.

  4. Determine what your state of mind is concerning the offense.

  5.Act to bring the matter to an end. The end is determined by YOUR ATTITUDE.

  A meek attitude, mildness, passive-resistance, non-confrontational curiousity about the nature of your accusation, constant request for scriptural authority and a calm spirit work miracles.

  You are dealing with T-Rex mentality. They detect movement and you are breakfast! You can't look like you are moving away from dead center.

  Personally, I think I was D'F'd illegally. There were no accusations and no witnesses to an offense in my case. I didn't even know I was at a disfellowshipping meeting!! I thought I was being asked about my separation from my wife and the reasons behind it. (Alcoholism).

  So, I answered too many questions and asked for no verifications and played into their hands. I was stunned that I was disfellowshipped.

  If I had it all to do over again I do it differently. I had faded and was no longer attending meetings. When my overseer called me on the phone to come "talk to the brothers" at the hall I SHOULD HAVE decline kindly. But, nooooo. I went. Bad move.
• 

  Shepherd Book

  Young Love:

  The elders recently contacted us after 1yr + of inactivity. Some of my family members found out my wife and I celebrated my son's birthday and so they contacted the elders and told them to deal with us. I pointed out to the elder that my family did not follow theocratic order (i.e., they did not contact me first), but he still insisted on meeting with us. I told him I would think about it and contact him within a few days. Then I hung up and dropped a letter in the mail. Haven't heard from him in a month now, and we have not been DF'd in abstensia, either. So, looks like we got off scott-free.

  Let me know if you want a copy of this letter. You can modify it to fit your own needs if/when the time comes.
• 

  Younglove1999

  I was under the impression if I submit a letter than I've in a sense DA'd myself.

  My mother tells me that doing that is worse than getting DF. She even said if that happened, she was told she wouldn't be able to work for me. So I guess I'm kind of leary of putting anything in writing.

  I know it's pointless anyways, but I want to say it. I think it's just insane that they're going to hold me to something I did when I was 12, which is when I got baptized. If I never got baptized- I'd be fine. What did I know at 12? I was the second of 3 kids and it was shortly after I got baptized and around the time my sister got DF'd, that she told my brother he wasn't allowed to get baptized until he was 18. She got a lot of flak from people for not encouraging my brother to pursue spiritual things. She didn't see it that way- she just didn't want to risk having to lose all three of her kids should they make a decision later on that they don't want to be a JW. What's sad is she shouldn't have to lose any of us if she would just make her own decisions.
• 

  Shepherd Book

  Young Love:

  No, sending a letter does not lead to disassociation as long as you make that clear in the letter. The letter I sent explicitly said that I and my wife are not disassociating ourselves. The letter clearly states that we are willing to meet with the elders (provided they meet certain stipulations), thus they cannot DF for not showing up at a judicial meeting.

  Like I said, we sent the letter about a month ago and I know for a fact that we have not been announced as DF'd of disassociated. This has been great, as the elders are now off of our case and the family members that I still have relationships with have not been forced to shun me.
• 

  AWAKE&WATCHING

  Out of all the rules that Mary listed there is only 1 that I haven't broken. Adultery.

  I even joined the Y.

  Yeah, my time is coming.
• 

  jgnat

  Yeah, I was going to make a list of things to help you get disfellowshipped. But I see this is not the goal.

  Might I make a suggestion for memories with your baby, how about quietly getting baby her first ornament? You don't have to hang it the first year, but it would be a lovely memento.

  

  When they are older, you can explain the significance.
• 

  jwfacts

  There is really only one disfellowshipping offense under which all others dovetail: insubordination. Otherwise known as: rebellious attitutude.

  This really nails it. For instance, birthdays is not a d/f offence. However, you can be disfellowshipped for it for if your attitude to the GB is found to be rebellious. Porneia is the great catch all. This is extended beyond its intended Greek meaning of sexual misconduct to "rebellion". Scholars recognise loose conduct to be centred on sexual depravity, as shown in Strong’s concordance .

  “From a compound of a - a 1 (as a negative particle) and a presumed selges (of uncertain derivation, but apparently meaning continent); licentiousness (sometimes including other vices ):-- filthy , lasciviousness, wantonness.”

  The Watchtower Society’s official definition uses this as a base but adds its own criteria. Insight on the Scriptures, Volume 2 states at p.264 under the heading Loose Conduct;

  “Acts that reflect a brazen attitude, an attitude betraying disrespect, even contempt for law and authority . The Hebrew word zim·mah´ is rendered “loose conduct” and “loose morals.” (Le 18:17; 19:29) The Greek term a·sel´gei·a (loose conduct) may also be rendered “licentiousness; wantonness; shameless conduct; lewdness of conduct.” (Ga 5:19, ftn; 2Pe 2:7, ftn) Neither term is restricted to sexual immorality. The Scriptures classify as loose conduct such things as gang rape (Jg 19:25; 20:6), prostitution (Jer 13:27; Eze 23:44), and bloodshed (Ps 26:9, 10; Eze 22:9; Hos 6:9).”

  Notice that the Watchtower adds to the standard definition, claiming loose conduct includes an attitude of disrespect for authority. Disrespect is then extended to encompass not agreeing with elders in a judicial committee meeting or disagreeing with the Watchtower Society. Hence, a biblical term generally related to shameless sexual conduct becomes the Watchtower Society’s justification for disfellowshipping for all manner of conduct, such as speaking to a disfellowshipped person. A person’s action, though not being a disfellowshipping offence in itself, may become one if the elders determine that the person has a wrong attitude. This will be done by deciding if the person displayed loose conduct, uncleanness or greediness in conjunction with the action. At special elders days these principles are discussed and applied to specific situations that have arisen in congregations.

  For a full list of things you can be d/f for see http://jehovah.net.au/disfellowship.html
• 

  Younglove1999

  jgnat, that's a great idea-

  I'm definitely going to find something like that-

  thanks
• 

  shell69

  Funny, da elders wer after me for celebrating Xmas..... My mother BEGGED me on the phone to let them DF me rather than me DA!!!

  These morons (and I include my mother in this) don't want to think that any one has any control other that the elders.

  ***k that. (pardon my french, but it makes me soooo mad!) I walked!

  Shell {happy now}