by El Kabong 32 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Es,
That happened to me. I had a miscarriage and no elders visited, but when I looked into it I noticed a questions from readers that stated that babies who died in the womb would not receive a resurrection. How disgusting that the GB could say such things when have NO CLUE what they're talking about!
Sirona
I just remembered a funny elder comment. Someone said they were going to Spain for their holidays. The elder said "oh no! you dont want to go to Spain, you should go to Europe, its much nicer"
LOL!! (how dumb is that!?)
Oh yeah and then theres the other thing that they did to me and my fiance, this is NOT funny. Having sent out the invites to our wedding, a few weeks before they said that we might not be able to use the KH for it because of our standing (we were not reproved or anything at this time), even tho they'd previously said yes. I nearly had a nervous breakdown until 3 weeks before they finally said it would be OK. The most stressful time in my life...wow. I remember at one point shouting in a loud voice in the hall "so where are we going to get married? what have we done wrong? how completely STUPID!"
Maybe thats where the problem lay HA!
Sirona
Dung & Essie:
I'm very sorry about your losses. That had to be absolutely horrible to deal with.
The stupidest (most insensitive) thing an elder said to me was during a judicial committee. It was the first time I was brought before them and it was for fornication. I voluntarily went to them and confessed the sin, feeling it was the right thing to do before god. After picking and prying at every detail, one of them had the nerve to say, "Are you some kind of slut?" It's already embaressing to tell people those types of details, but to be insulted afterward? I became inactive after that.
AMarie
I just remembered another.
There was a district overseer named Brother Bishopp, who worked in the Ohio circut. In each of his talks he would continually emphasize that the sisters skirts need to be two inches below the knee. He preached it like it was biblical fact. Even the most "spiritual" of the congregation rolled their eyes at that one.
(((((((((Dung & Essie)))))))))
I also had two miscarriages and my JW family used this to try to get me to come back to the 'truth'.
The cruelist thing said to me by an elder was said by my father. I was engaged to be married (a non-witness) I hadn't been to a meeting in years but hadn't been reproved or DF'd or anything. I was no longer living anywhere near the KH that I grew up in. My JW family was supporting my marriage and right before I got married backed out. My dad said that Jehovah had been showing them signs that their decision to support my marriage was wrong. His main example? My younger kid brother was diagnosed with a very serious disease during my engagement. They said that this was because they were supporting my marriage to an unbeliever and that I brought this upon the family.
closer
Mean People Produce
Little Mean People
My husband was in an accident when my daugher was 3 months old and the day after my mom was released from the hospital for colon cancer. He was air-lifted to another city to their burn unit because he had 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 1/3 of his body. I was in a strange city with a husband in intensive care and a 3 month old baby. My husband asked the elders that come by (to ensure he didn't get blood) to please encourage me, they replied that since we had been there (about 2 weeks into the ordeal) I had not been regular to the meetings so there really wasn't anything they could do to help me....oh and when this elder did talk to me it was to tell me how LUCKY I was as MOST people who were burned like this DIED...gee thanks for the encouragement brother!
A GREAT BIG HUG {{{{}}}}} to EVERYONE OUT THERE THAT HAS BEEN HURT BY AN INSENSITIVE COMMENT BY A "LOVING" BROTHER!
Wow, so sorry dung, essie, closer and to all the others hurt by such horrible insensitive remarks.
It's obvious by their actions and comments that a great deal of these men have been appointed not because of having shown christ like spirits, but because they have shown that they could jump through all the organizational hoops.
We had one older brother in our hall up in NY, who was a real zinger. Upon hearing about the upcoming nuptials of one pioneer sister in the hall, I heard him remark "Well soon we aren't going to have ANY virgins left at our hall!" yikes! This is the same brother who got into trouble for quoting (I'm not sure who? da judge perhaps?) At the beginning of one of his talks saying "The clergy are a bunch of God Damn Bastards!" Well needless to say it DID get everyones attentions that day...hehehehe. Ah, the good old days LOL
Shelli
"The important thing is to not stop questioning" Albert Einstein
(((((Hugs))))) to everyone who posted about their painful experiences with the elders...
Stupidest comment I remember:
When I was trying to deal with the sexual abuse I had endured as a child and come to grips with having to see my abuser at every meeting, on the platform, etc...I thought perhaps I should take my two babies and just go to a different hall, as it might be easier for me to make the meetings. The PO and another elder came by and the PO told me that if I went to another hall, I would just pick another person to 'have a problem with' and as an 'excuse' not to stay there. He told me it was my attitude that was the problem!! Um yeah, I wonder: Does that mean he knew there were child molesters in every hall??? What an idiot.
Dana
"...I'd walk with my people if I could find them..."
Third Eye Blind, Deep Inside of You
My heart goes out to you all......
I have so many stupid elder comments that I could not list them all...... But, the one of the worst ones I have had someone say:
My husband, who I just left for physical and mental abuse, contrived to get me to our house again. My mom drove me, my daughter came along because she wanted to see "Daddy". To make a very long story short, he ended up beating me up, my mother was thrown around by her hair and thrown to the ground, permanently injuring her knee, and all the while, had my 5 year old daughter in his other arm. (After all this, he locked himself in his truck and read the Bible to my daughter!) When we had the elders meeting about it, one of the brothers, after hearing the whole story, turned to my now ex and said, "Well, ****, that really was a lack of good judgement" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What!!!!!!!?????? Is that all it was???? That really was the theme-lets just water this down so that we all feel more comfortable!
Another time, when my ex was stalking me, emotionally devastating my daughter etc, the elders came to find out why I was not attending meetings. I told them all that was going on, played a tape of a conversation that I had w/ the ex that was the most abusive and digusting thing you ever heard. Told them I was worried that the man, in good standing, would be allowed to continue to hurt our daughter because the elders were doing nothing. The one elder said, "Well, you do have to remember, Dee, that you were the one who married him in the first place, and you do have a responsiblility in this too". Wow, did I get hysterical---I asked if they really thought I was my fault that my elder and pioneer husband beat me? They couldn't back peddle fast enough before I threw them out of my apartment!
One elder said during a sunday talk that all rock bands gave a prayer to Satan before each show. He added "it's a fact, people". everyone knew i had just been to a concert a week earlier. I told a friend of mine that he must have been praying with them and thats how he knew.
The worst one for me was when our PO told me that if I was visiting my father (non jw) and armageddon came, I would die, and if not, I would be df'd because he was living in sin. Like an idiot, I told my father. Things were never the same.
