I can sympathise with you, Maddie. As one who's spent a year and a half on bible studies. (which I find interesting, but little more than that). I'm being told I should try to get to know Jehovah closer but I can't feel anything towards him at all. Jesus, yes, Jehovah, very difficult as they tell me I should not picture him in my mind as a human entity. Well, what is he then? A cloud of fire, an electrical charge, what? Apparently no human can view his face without dying. Why's that if he made us in his image? I've also been to quite a few Revelation classes and like you I don't answer up because I don't believe Jehovah could be so cruel as he is in their interpretation of Revelation. I asked an elder this question? "Could you really stand by and watch your relatives and neighbours being destroyed in front of your eyes, maybe your parents, your siblings, whilst you believe you'll be rewarded with everlasting life? Just because they didn't follow your beliefs?" After a long winded reply I think in the end he meant "yes", he could because Jehovah decides, not him. I'd rather have no eternal life than go through this. I can't picture the meek, mild, loving Jesus, arriving on horseback and destroying all the bad infidels. Can anyone imagine a God of love doing that? Why not just snap his fingers and they all disappear without any suffering or pain. I asked what would happen to Ghandi and Mother Theresa? Just because they might be from the wrong religions are they rejected, despite all their wonderful deeds? The reply was that Jehovah knows and decides, no one else. So one minute they tell me all non JW's will be doomed to the grave, next they're telling me Jehovah might make exceptions. I asked if Hitler will be resurrected at the day of judgement and was told yes, we mortals can't decide whether he should live eternally or not, only Jehovah can. All who have died will be resurrected and for all we know Hitler might have suffered from insanity. That elder wasn't joking? If I'm being honest, I'm finding it interesting to learn more about the JW's and their beliefs, but the blood issue and my not allowed to have my favourite breakfast item, black pudding, or the famous Scottish haggis, just because there's blood in it. I made the point that all raw meat has blood in it and it's just the cooking that changes the colour from red to brown. It doesn't disappear, it's there in all meat, and if their beliefs are right they should all be vegans. I was told, no, the red colouring in meat consists of meat juices (are meat juices not partly made up of blood?). They allow JW's to have transfusions of their own blood. Is this not cheating? It's still a transfusion. I kinda agree blood transfusions should only be used in extreme emergencies, but as one whose life was saved on more than one occaasion by transfusions I would find it hard to go along with the blood issue. A senior elder admitted to me that he doesn't know what he'd do if his daughters were in an accident and the doctor said a transfusion is essential to save her. Then there's the problem with their kids. They don't allow them to play in the street in case they make friends with the wrong kind. I know of one wee boy who's in the house all the time except for when he's at school and going from door to door. he plays table tennis and things with his parents. Some childhood! Their families, I was told, take them on outings and trips with other JW kids. I don't see this as a healthy way to encourage your kids to become street wise, in fact it surely makes them lacking in social skills. I also made a point about the wine and bread at the commemoration night for Jesus. What if some lunatic appeared off the street and drank the wine and ate the bread? Would that make them one of the 144,001? They tell me that those that are chosen will know, only them and nobody else. So who can be positive that the lunatic who believed he was one of the chosen was not one? The latest thing was an attempt to make me see that if I became a Witness I'd have to withdraw from my present circle of friends and join the merry band of brothers and sisters who make up the congregation. There would be nothing wrong with me being with my old friends, could even have a couple of beers with them, but nothing any closer. The trouble is I can't see me with JW's, limiting myself to a couple of wines. Those I've met I find interesting and very nice, polite people, but certainly none that I would want as a friend. I have very little in common with any of them. Sorry for going on, Maddie, but I'd guess you're having similar experiences. LOL!