Do those of you "born into the truth" have problems with relationships? (page 3)

primitivegenius

SOCIALLY RETARDED

thats the problem....... I think probably 90% of those who escape the cult feel it. You have no friends unless they are dubs.... and 200% of the time if you are alone for 2 minutes with a person of the opposite sex you naturally will engage in fornication.......... right? Its in the Watchtower so it MUST be true RIGHT???

I was a virgin at 30........... and knew something was wrong with the org even tho i kept following their brainwashed commands to pray because there was something wrong with ME. I FELT it comeing on......... every year that added up made me feel i was going to go that much more crazy. So what am I gonna do to solve the problem?

I cant date any so called "worldly girl" because there would be a 80% chance that someone in the org would see me out with someone they didnt know and no chaperone........... then back room for me. Definately didnt want a dub anymore because i was seeing through the org more clearly every day and how you gonna find someone else who does the same without risking your entire family by showing your .... GASP an apostate........... their words NOT MINE. pretty much your S*** out of luck there.

I traveled and met women and couldnt relate to them. like i said.... socially retarded. absolutely NO social skills......... yeah i was a regular pioneer, ms, worked at all the kh builds........ still dont know how to approach a girl. i mean dont you have to speak to her body of elders first....... does she have a good reputation? isnt that the most important thing in the world?

So i wasted my virginity on someone who didnt matter.......... big let down....... several someones in fact...... is this all their is?

Met someone........ HERE............ who wanted out.......... knew it was not gods organization. Met them face to face........... worked out.

Married, with the most beautiful son in the world. so im over it now right........... no more a social retard right??? NOPE still lingers.......... but fortunately i am getting much better and when i know people im not shy with them......... hope to lose the last of my retardation before my son is big enough to see it and wonder about it. cause HE WILL NEVER KNOW THAT CULT. if im scarred.... its ok cause now i know better and can improve myself.......... he will never suffer.

best advice i can give is give it time.... and screw EVERYTHING they told you in the cult. Look for someone who is worthy for you to waste your time on. If they arent interesting then they arent for you. watch "the pick up artist" on vh1 to see how other people can manage to overcome their fears and speak to women. i look and can relate to how those people feel and love to see them overcome their fears and talk to the girls.

PS it could always be worse....... my wifes aunt......... lifelong dub............. is 50.... and still a virgin. never been married........... and crazy and hell.

hambeak

Control is the order of the day for those infected by the borg and learning how to love and be loved takes years of learning after being brainwashed by the wts. I don't know if anyone ever gets over it, especially if one was raised in the borg. You just don't know how to develop real friendships and relationships, as your total allegiance is to be to the org with no questions asked just accept what was written in the wt as absolute truth and to question was to be thrown away like garbage. FEAR is how they rule.

cyd0099

Wasn't born in, but yeah, I'm pretty much a loser with the ladies and I have a ton of esteem issues.

Madame Quixote

Yup. Counseling is helping a lot. I've had several important, difficult issues to deal with recently, and have made significant progress in addressing some of it, with the help of counselling. I feel very fortunate to have it available now because it's very clearly helping me to address and end some damaging behaviour patterns; althought it's very incremental. Best wishes!

karvel

i feel ya bro. hang in there. get some counseling. it helps.

cyberdyne systems 101

Relationships may or may not come easy, whether you were brought up in dubdom or not. What i'm saying is there are people who easily get them and others who struggle to, whether or not they have been brought up to have an immature attitude towards life and relationships, like those of us who took the society at their word despite what our body was telling us.

Really the only way to move on is to draw a line under the past and leave it there. Not as easy to do as say it of course, but entirely possible. A lot of us feel we are younger mentally and emotionally, given our back grounds, but once you have made a few mistakes and found out what you like, you'll soon catch up. Its a case of relaxing, working at increasing your friendships and seeing what comes of it. Try to take any opportunitys that come your way, push yourself beyond your comfort zone and 'wing' it. Dont be hard on yourself, try to enjoy who you are and what your doing, and your find that attracts people and things your way. Dont let your past hold you back from the future, you cant change it, so let it go, dont drag it around with you, start from today and say this is where I move on and experience my new life.

Wish you well

CS 101

sass_my_frass

:)

I started dating at 27, and I had no idea how anything works. I'd chaperoned my sister and her fiance at every moment they ever saw each other. To me, dating was courting, and courting was a series of wholesome excursions with people a generation older. Even now I'm aggro that I missed a great big window of adventure and learning in my life.

I can't think of any good big-sister advice for you, except for: know your contraception. Be safe, don't hurt anybody, and get out there.

Shawn10538

Come out to California and we'll see if we can't get you laid. If you are 25 and not fat you should have no problem. I know lots of women who are polyamorous.

REBORNAGAIN

It's hard at first because you have to train your mind to accept all peoples. I thought I was doing good at it, but then a couple of years ago, someone told me that I needed to learn to accept people the way they are. ????????????????? Am I missing something there? I liked this guy a lot, and he was even Bipolar. I was accepting that about him. After him, another guy, a full blown alcoholic. That lasted 4 months after I realized I couldn't help him. He needed to help himself. In his case, was I supposed to accept his alcoholism? I don't think so.

I have concluded over my life time, that our lives are predestined. It was already planned out the way we lived it, and how we will die. I came to this conclusion, because there is no rhyme or reason for the things that happen in my life. They say, whatever we believe is true. Whatever we tell ourselves will come true and it happens to me everytime. I try to talk myself into the opposite, i.e. the way I want something to turn out, but the doubts are in my head therefore it never goes the way I had hoped, hence my reasons for my conclusions.

Besides all of that, I am glad I am allowed to interact with others in this world. At least they are not as the Germans say "Scheissfreundlich" which literally translated means, shit friendly, in other words, not your superficial, phony, wannabe Christians among the JW's.

LINDA

Do those of you "born into the truth" have problems with relationships?

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