I'm the Ice Cream man stop me when I'm passin' by

by 5thGeneration 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • bigdreaux
    bigdreaux
    ...and he had to wade across crocodile infested waters to conduct the meeting for service and no one else showed up. W.Once

    Precisely.

    But wait...there's more.

    He preached till sundown.

    He was hungry.

    He was parched.

    He was ready to retire for the evening, he had to traverse that crocodile-infested river yet again, but he felt the need to knock on one last hut.

    Turns out, the householder had been praying to God that He send a sign.

    A study was started with the householder, the village witchdoctor.

    Now he's a Circuit Overseer.

    By the way, he's also just a torso, as he's lost all his appendages whilst crossing the many crocodile-infested rivers in his assignments.

    Makes one ask...am I REALLY doing enough?

    let us not forget the walk in service and to the kingdom hall is up hill both ways.

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration

    With no shoes and a 100 lbs. service bag!

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    I have heard that the Baskins-Robbin ice cream parlour chain here in the USA is owned by Dubs, but I'll bet a nickle he wasn't one of them.

    Ice cream flavor of the day: stinky tofu!

    (anyone here ever try stinky tofu?)

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    The WTB&TS needs to give us a story about a genius who gave himself a brain injury so he could believe their crap.

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    No one has yet mentioned that he also has 10 children and his elderly parents live with him and his family in a one room straw hut, which he made after he sold his four bedroom suburban home so he could live a simpler life. All profit from that sale went to the WT, of course.

  • bluebell
    bluebell
    when one day he cannot support his family, and Armageddon doesn't come post haste.... the watchtower will ignore his plight. They will discard him like some used up rag. They will be on to the next fine example for the flock to emulate.

    too right!

    lmao you are all so funny - made me smile when I needed it

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Satan will not rest!

    Turns out, blood found it's way into this brother's ice cream.

    And I don't mean the Governing Body approved blood fractions.

    I mean one of the main blood components.

    Damn you Satan!

    It will be announced this coming Thursday night that Brother Legnarmless is no longer one of Jehovah' Witnesses.

    However, J.R. Brown informs us that the WT shall retain all their stock in the company.

    Hey!

    It was a gift!

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration
    No one has yet mentioned that he also has 10 children and his elderly parents live with him and his family in a one room straw hut, which he made after he sold his four bedroom suburban home so he could live a simpler life. All profit from that sale went to the WT, of course.

    Then... because he abandoned everything for the truth, when the local militia came to imprison any Witnesses they could find, all of the literature in his hut miraculously disappeared before their eyes and the soldiers had no choice but to leave dazed and confused! Another miracle!

  • 5thGeneration
    5thGeneration

    LOL nvrgnbk,

    Poor Brother Legnarmless.

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle
    ...and he had to wade across crocodile infested waters to conduct the meeting for service and no one else showed up. W.Once

    Precisely.

    But wait...there's more.

    He preached till sundown.

    He was hungry.

    He was parched.

    He was ready to retire for the evening, he had to traverse that crocodile-infested river yet again, but he felt the need to knock on one last hut.

    Turns out, the householder had been praying to God that He send a sign.

    A study was started with the householder, the village witchdoctor.

    Now he's a Circuit Overseer.

    By the way, he's also just a torso, as he's lost all his appendages whilst crossing the many crocodile-infested rivers in his assignments.

    Makes one ask...am I REALLY doing enough?

    BUT...

    The converted witchdoctor went hut-to-hut asking for donations and Jehovah moved them all to pitch in and buy a new power wheelchair with inflatable water wings so that our dear brother could continue in his service. What a blessing!

    To be continued...

    But the blessings did not stop there.

    Our former IT guru, turned Ice cream salesman, turned Amazon special pioneer, got on that power wheelchair of his and started on his way to the capital city of Lima Peru to preach in one of the city parks.

    While offering a copy of My Book of Bible Stories, he happened to meet up with the Minister of Education for Peru who was talking a walk near the capital buidings.

    This Education Minister was so impressed he decided that the entire country of Peru will be taught ENGLISH using this fine publication!! They will also use it to teach the importance of petty revenge, and to reassert the dominance of men over women.

    Our Oriental brother received another special blessing when he was able to start conducting home bible studies with every single member of the Peruvian government's parliament.

    Is it not reasonable to conclude that very soon, every single man, woman, child, goat, and moutain lion in Peru will be studying with our brother Ben? A thinking Christian would do well to ask himself, AM I DOING ALL I CAN?

    Jehovah truly blesses until there is no more want!

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