Can We All Just Get Along?

flipper

Hello folks! How you all doing? Of course the title on this thread may have caught your attention from the riots in LA in the 90's when Rodney King made the statement. I think it's a great statement, simple, but oh so true.

Alright, the reason I titled this thread by this is, as posters we all have many different personalities on this forum and board. Granted, we are not going to agree on every point, we are not going to see eye to eye on every subject. That's understood, and goes without saying. That is what makes the world go round, having different slants on things and being able to turn each others minds on to new angles, learning things we didn't know before, we are never too old to learn. Life is in part, about learning from others, good and bad.

But, like my mom used to say to me as a teenager, me being smart alec at times, Mr. Flipper, it's not what you said, but how you said it, that would piss mom off at times. I've noticed a trend at times on this discussion forum of people getting personally offensive to some very contributing posters by insulting either their mates by offensive speech or taking their disagreeing to a personal insulting tone. There are ways to communicate our disagreeing with one another in a respectful but firm way, without insulting a person's wife, husband, or children, or any of their relatives. You know, most of us here have already gotten out of an organization which makes you feel inadequate anyway, the least we can do is learn from that and not call any of our posters here ,or their relatives, personally insulting names, making our point in a mean spirited way. There is a lot of good that can be done , from exerting good social skills and taking care to try to understand what each person is going through who posts. Shooting one's mouth off before brain is in gear is like going to a shopping mall firing a gun into the ceiling without looking. It's just plain uncaring.

Don't get me wrong here. Most posters are very caring, but I saw today someone call a person's mate a bad insulting name, it's just not appropriate. It has happened at times, the administators do their best to prevent it, but I know they can't watch everything, everywhere. So it's up to us the posters to try to be cool with each other and promote good communication relations, and hey if we disagree, that's fine, but just don't make it personal insults to one another. We are all here to help, I would assume, vent also, but vent with good social skills. Anyway, what do you all think? Welcome your comments on this. Have you experienced this yourself , or someone you know? I like to stay positive and it takes all of us to do so.. Peace out you all, Mr. Flipper Look forward to hearing from you.

mrsjones5

I agree. Insulting other people's family and mates is just down right rude. I've had it happen to me on this board but I would never ever do it to someone else no matter the reason...it's uncalled for.

Josie

changeling

I agree completely.

changeling

tula

I think we should also remember the newbies who may be lurking.

Things like this may scare them away and defeat our purpose in helping them to find ground here.

This also goes for offensive language and pornographic content which I have seen all over this board and personally find offensive.

No wonder some people are one post wonders.

If they tap into a link like that, their first impression is "yep. The bOrg was right about the apostates and the internet. It's no place I want to be."

When the board had become overwhelmingly sad at one point, I had hoped humor would lift spirits. So I started a thread entitled "hollywood casting call". It was intended to be a humorous piece of dark comedy about the Society. But some people encouraged and participated in posting pornographic photographs and wrote disgusting explicit sexual acts on the thread. The mods have now removed it because of this.

I hold no resentments. We are all constantly learning about our own selves and the world. Life is a learning process. And the mistakes we make today...well, hopefully we will be wiser tomorrow.

Sometimes people say things off the cuff without considering the impact on others. Perhaps when its pointed out, in the future one will weigh words more carefully before speaking. It may be an unconscious habit of JW conditioning ..to always have a ready answer and to speak quickly.

One day as I was watching my mother decorate a cake, the icing came too fast out of the pastry tube and made a big *splat*. I thought the cake was ruined. But my mother smiled and changed the nozzle on the tube. "When you make a mistake," she said, "just put a rose on it."

That rose can be as simple as an apology. If we can all learn to be sensitive to others and admit the mistake and learn to say "I'm sorry"...well, that is a great step forward in effective communication. And it wouldn't hurt if some of you would go back and read the guidelines under submitting posts. Or use your edit button on your posts.

There are some really beautiful people here. And maybe this website is just the beginning of the "great educational work" to come!

golf2

It takes no brains, no talent and no character to criticize.

Golf

BFD

I had my first go around with a poster today but we worked it out and were actually kidding with each other when it was all over. Some topics are divisive but there is never a reason to hurl insults at someone's family.

BFD

JK666

Under normal circumstances, yes. On occasion there are real jerks that come to JWD.

A few months ago, there was a poster that was considering suicide. A number us us rallied to try to help him. Unfortunately, there was a jerk that told him he was a wimpy attention-seeker, and that he should go ahead and do it.

That guy got blasted from me and others before being banned from this board.

There are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, there is no need for ad hominem attacks.

JK

bigmouth

I concur Mr Flipper.

I remember as a newbie here one of my earliest posts was an attempt at some dry humour that didn't come off and I was absolutely hammered by others. When I apologised in another post the response was as bad. It left me in tears that I could be so misunderstood by JW's and ex Jw's alike.

But I learned that a personal sense of humour does not always translate well in the written form over the internet. So use emoticons and other 'softening' methods to reduce the chance of offending.

Some people don't ever seem to have developed a sense of humour. Something to do with dubdom?

Hope that helps someone.

NotaNess

I was getting tired of seeing the trash mouths sound off, the over-sexed topics or posts, the political back and forth slamming...it's a downer, and I stopped checking in on a regular basis. Now I come and hang maybe 1 time a week it seems like. Same old stuff still. And what's with all the cleavage and boob shots?? It's like being in a bar, and someones only got physical attributes to try and make a name for themselves through the crowd. Whether it's a photo of yourself or not, what's the need?

BlackPearl

And what's with all the cleavage and boob shots?? It's like being in a bar, and someones only got physical attributes to try and make a name for themselves through the crowd. Whether it's a photo of yourself or not, what's the need?

Wow! Now that's divisive. We're just having a little fun here, if the ladies want to show a few boob shots, then I say let em. The female form is the most beautiful thing in the world. You don't have to look.

BP

Can We All Just Get Along?

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