Sexless Marriages Could Threre Be a Direct Link by Being Raised JW?

okiesooner1966

I would like start by saying I having been married twice. The first time I married a girl who was also raised a JW, sex was great when we first got married but after a couple of years it almost completely stopped. The marriage did not last much longer I thought it was because we just grew apart and I became uninterested. I have been remarried to a beautiful woman who is not in the borg for 7 years now, sex was geat before we even got married. But now I am in the same situation I was in with the first wife. We do have a child that takes up alot of our time between work, school and sports. I love her very much and we have a great time together, but my interest in sex with her is all but gone. The one time a month we do have sex is great I wished we did it more, but for some reason it just doesnt hppen. Could this possibly be linked to being raised in the truth and if so is there any ideas on how to deal with this issue. Does anyone have this same problem, because I believe it is me not her.

P.S. I have not been in the borg for several years now.

ozziepost

Quite honestly, I think it has little to do with the dubs and more to do with you.

it's so easy to blame others when we should be looking at ourselves for the remedy.

sweetface2233

It's not just among JWs. I just wish I had a nickle for every married guy that has come on to me. Just go to the Rants & Raves section of craigslist. They are all over the place complaining about how their wives will only give it up once or twice a month. I will admit, and you can pass judgment if you want; I dont care, but I had an affair w/ a married man a few years ago. He wasn't getting sex at home; not even a sensual shower together. I now know why. It was because he was very selfish and unattentive in bed. I don't really blame her for not wanting him to touch her.

eclipse

Ever think about getting counselling or seeing a sex therapist?

megsmomma

I think the thing about sex is....It is work. Not in the beginning....not all the time, but......we can't take it for granted...especially when life is busy. Just the fact that you do enjoy it when you get to it says a-lot. Maybe you two can make more effort in setting aside time. (Me and my hubby have a 1 1/2 yr old and we both are "morning people"....but, he leaves by 6 am....so saturdays are our day...for now. My advise is some that I am going to take too :))

I think you are normal though....if that means anything.

ex-nj-jw

I think there comes a point in every marraige when things "die down". You get caught up in raising the kids, work, taking care of the home.....

You have to make time for sex especially when the kids are young. Have a date night with you spouse, take time watching tv and holding, carressing each other. You will be suprised how much a massage will do to stir up feelings. Marraige is something you have to work at all the time.

You may want to seek professional counseling especially if you love you spouse and want things to work out. I think JW's tend to be more sexually repressed, I say JW's because I have no experience with other religions. It may be that super religious people see sex as a sin or only for having children which will take the fun out of it. Sex is important in marraige and not just to procreate.

IMHO

nj

mrsjones5

You want more sex? Do more around the house. Nothing sexier than a man doing the dishes or *gasp* cooking!

mentalclearness

I think what you describe is a common problem among couples jw or not...I agree with the advice here that sex is actually something you have to work on...Try to be more spontaneous. Monotony can kill sex life. Try new things. Get away. If those things don't work, then maybe you should go to counseling with wife.

Bobbi

I was going to be all nice and say it happens to everyone and not worry. BUT I am in a bad mood with a headcold so you are getting cranky Bobbi.

Make an EFFORT. Take a good long look at yourself. Can you honestly say you help out around the house. When was the last time you carried the laundry to washer or the clean stuff to the right room. When did you last vacuum or wash a floor. Do you even know where the cleaning supplies are?

Do you tell your wife you think she is sexy and attractive? Do you flirt with her and make her feel that you want her as much as when you first got together?

From personal experience, I put on weight after having my kids and I lost alot of my confidence about my sexuality. I also found that after having kids it was harder to achieve orgasms. Talk to her about it. She might not initiate sex because she thinks that it will take so much effort to please you and herself and she is too tired.

Get some "toys".

Stop looking for someone to blame and sweet talk your sexy momma into bed and rock her world. Frequently.

Bobbi

mrsjones5

I like cranky Bobbi

Sexless Marriages Could Threre Be a Direct Link by Being Raised JW?

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